Colt Muscle Nips Pump Review

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The packagingWhat would you say if I told you there’s a feature-packed suction nipple toy available from the master-kinksters at CalExotics for the relatively inexpensive cost of $55?  Sounds like a deal and then some, right?  But is the Colt Muscle Nips Pump truly worth it, or is it a rare misfire for such a highly respected BDSM toy manufacturer?  Stay tuned as I put the nipple suckers through their paces and see if you should get hold of one as soon as possible or pass it by.

Key Takeaways
3.1 out of 5 stars

The Colt Muscle Nips Pumps Set is a fairly complex arrangement of plastic tubes, suction bells, a moderately powerful suction pump, and a plethora of adjustable valves, which retails for $55

Though it has a lot of potential and could very well be what you like to play with for an extremely good time, I found it to be a sex toy rarity: overly complicated, not particularly well-constructed, and, let’s face it, not all that fun.

Who Should Try It? If you or your partner (or partners if you have more than one) is seriously into nipple suction scenes but finds most of those available don’t suck nearly enough to be sexually arousing.  It’s also an ideal choice for folx who want something with a wide range of play possibilities just waiting to be sexually explored.

Who Can Skip It? Honestly, the merely curious can probably pass the Colt Muscle Nipple Pumps Set as it requires a pretty sizable amount of time and effort to get it to work right; something casual nipple players will probably not be willing to invest in.  That, and at $55, means it’s way out of reach of anyone who’s just a little interested in this sort of suction-type sex toy.

You Can Buy It on the Stockroom website for $55.

What is The Colt Muscle Nips Pump?

Hang on, as this is going to take a bit of explaining.  Essentially, the Colt Muscle Nips Pump is a powerful vacuum pump connected to a quick-release mechanism, followed by a length of red silicone tubing.  At its end is a plastic ‘T’ connector branching off to a matching pair of similarly red silicone tubes, each fitted with a twist-type plastic valve.  From there, two short lengths of red silicone tubes end with their own plastic suction valves, each featuring a built-in release mechanism.

Colt Muscle Nips Pump

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First Impressions and Features

Unboxing

Regarding the packaging of the Colt Muscle Nips Pump, it is definitely nothing to write home about. As you can see in the below image, it’s nothing but a less-than-durable plastic clamshell holding the product itself, as well as, on the back, a simple diagram outlining its various features in English, German, French, Spanish, and Russian.

The packaging

Specifications

How does the Colt Muscle Nips Pumps Set measure up?

  • Material: Acrylic, POM Plastic, Silicone Tubing. Specifically, The Suction Cups Are Acrylic, The Release Valves And Vacuum Pump Are ABS, And The On/Off Valves And Connector Are POM Plastic.
  • Size: The Vacuum Pump And Handle Are Approximately Six Inches Long. The First Length Of Silicon Tubing Is One Foot In Length.  From The Branching T-Connector, Each Branching Silicon Tube Is Five Inches Long.  The Tubes From The Twist-Valve Are An Inch And A Half.  Both Acrylic Suction Cups Are Two Inches Long And Three And A Half Inches Wide.
  • Color: Black, Clear, Red, And White
  • Mechanism: Nipple Suction

How Do I Use The Colt Muscle Nips Pump?

Trust me when I say you want to spend a respectable amount of time getting to know how the CalExotics Colt Muscle Nips Pumps Set operates, for if you don’t, you might end up experiencing a surprisingly less-than-pleasurable time with it.

In a nutshell, the pump set starts with its vacuum pump, which, for some inexplicable reason, can only be comfortably operated in one position.

With both its T-valves open, pumping the pump — there’s simply no other way to say it — provides both of its suction bells with an equal amount of vacuum.  It’s essential to note that each needs to be either attached to someone’s body or, if not, the cup that’s not attached should have its valve closed, as otherwise, however much you pump, nothing will happen.

Okay, so you have the valves open and the bells held where you want them, sucking to suck (and again, how else to say it?), so the pump will do its thing.  Now, if things get too much, all that’s necessary to release the entire arrangement is to press the quick release button.

Making things perhaps a little too complicated, the suction bells are fitted with a metal push-pin arrangement that disconnects them from their respective silicone hoses.  However, don’t make the mistake I made and think doing so will instantly release their suction.  Instead, all that happens is the tubs come free, but the cups will stay attached. To break the seal, you’ll need to either reattach them to their hoses or manually pop their seals.

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My Personal Experience

Keeping in mind that I’m somewhat of an expert when it comes to nipple play scenes and especially all the different types of toys currently available.  So I was fairly excited to get my hands on The Colt Muscle Nips Pump, believing it could bring more than a little something extra to my partner and my nipple play activities.

Alas, we found the nipple sucker to be less than stellar in terms of its quality and the disappointing difficulty in operating it.  First of all, we had to spend an inordinate length of time struggling to figure out how to get it to suck. And then, when we finally did, we nearly panicked when we thought that disconnecting the suction bells from their silicon tubes would automatically release their suction.

Putting that aside, I must mention how loose-fitting many of its silicon tube connections are, to the point where it was disappointingly easy to accidentally jerk them free.  Which, when compared to other suction toys I’ve enjoyed, isn’t exactly a point in Colts’ favor.

Packaging

The CalExotics Colt Muscle Nips Pump comes in a noticeably unappealing clear plastic clamshell display that’s not at all suitable for storing it and its various parts.

The back of the package with the instructions

As you can see in the image above, it includes a poorly printed, one-sided basic instruction sheet, minus any illustrations, and what I suppose is a more comprehensive (though far too annoyingly microscopic) supposedly multi-language guide.  Seriously, does whoever made the Colt Pump Set think we all have a 100x magnifying glass in our bedrooms?

Design

I wish I could say that CalExotics’ otherwise stellar reputation is on full display with this nipple sucker. Still, sadly, I have to say it’s not only not exactly well-constructed, but its overall design is more annoying and frustrating than pleasurable and sexually arousing to use.  As it is, it feels like four different nipple suction toys that don’t work well together.  It would have been much better if it had instead focused on a single, professionally designed, and meticulously engineered feature.

Colt Muscle Nips Pump

Material

The Colt Muscle Nips Pump is crafted from a variety of materials, including acrylic, polyurethane (POM), ABS plastic, and silicone tubing.

Build Quality and Dimensions

As I’ve said previously, when measured against other nipple play sex toys, The Colt Muscle Nips Pumps Set appears to be more than slightly lacking in its construction, with loose-fitting connections and a plethora of what seem to be dubiously thought-out design decisions.

Closeup of the pump and quick release valve

Ease of Use

Regarding how easy or not the Colt Muscle Nips Pump is to use, I have to sadly report a resounding “Not very.”  To begin with, the hoses are quite stiff, making it a frustrating ordeal to get them and their respective suction bells where you want them to go.  Forget about using this suction toy set on someone who can’t lend a helping hand, as just when you get one suction bell in place, the opposite requires so much unnecessary tinkering with its network of valves, you may end up just tossing the whole contraption aside in favor of something simpler and easier to play with.

Closeup of the suction bell and valve

Versatility

Though at first glance, The Colt Muscle Nips Pump appears to be suitable for a wide range of play activities, upon closer inspection, it’s not as versatile as it could — or should — be.  Sure, once either of its suction bells has a good enough vacuum, they can be pretty effortlessly disconnected, making it much easier for the person they are attached to get up and move about, but considering the cost and how challenging it is to use, that’s not exactly a great trade-off.

Warranty and Support

Like any of The Stockroom’s products, you can contact them to arrange a return and refund if, for any reason, you’re not happy with The Stockroom’s Colt Muscle Nips Pumps Set.

Minor Issues I Found During Testing

Let’s face it, the Colt Muscle Nips Pump isn’t what I’d call a particularly great sex toy.  Not that it’s something you or your playmates might not want to purchase, for I’m a firm believer that whether it’s films, books, food, or anything else. At the same time, I may not like something that doesn’t give me the right to give you or anyone else a hard time for liking it.  It’s just that in my experience, this nipple sucker was one of those toys that requires too much effort for too little pleasure.

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Review Summary

Pros

  • Delivers a high level of suction with very little effort.
  • Its network of valves and hoses can be fun to fool around with.
  • The ability to disconnect the suction bells means wearers can get up and move around.

Cons

  • Many of the hoses come loose far too easily.
  • Its various valves and fittings can be confusing to operate.
  • Its stiffness makes it overly challenging to use.

Alternatives to The Colt Muscle Nips Pump

Frohle Nipple/Clit Suction Device

Here’s an excellent option for everyone seeking an affordable, simple-to-operate nipple suction toy.  Deceptively basic, it’s nevertheless managed to produce a surprisingly respectable amount of suction for such a small and portable design.  Formed from body-safe materials and available in small, medium, and large sizes, the Frohle Nipple/Clit Suction Device is perfect for casual play as well as for those who like to explore the outer reaches of more intense nipple play activities.

Kinklab T-Cups Nipple Suction Set

Straight from the experts over at Kinklab, this pair of screw-type nipple suction toys is as festively pink as they are capable of some wildly arousing suction scenes.  Unlike many other BDSM toys, their pinkness just screams–or more accurately, “moans”– fun and is ideal for when you don’t want your scenes to look or feel overly dark and serious.

Gripper Nipple Suction Cups

Last but most assuredly not least, these soft and more than slightly squishy nipple suction toys look like they wouldn’t suck as much as others. Still, you would be quite pleasantly and pleasurably surprised to learn that they can and do do what is necessary to get you or your partner’s nipples all nice and tingly.  You also have your choice of classic black, as well as clear, the latter of which is great for watching as whatever they are attached to gets nice and warm.

Do you want more options? We have reviewed many more nipple suckers in this article.

I’m Sold! Where Can I Buy It?

Grab your new nipple sucker from here.

Thanks for reading my Colt Muscle Nips Pump review!

M.Christian

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M.Christian
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