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So you’ve finally decided to visit a sex toy store. Maybe you’ve been thinking about it for a while or perhaps you’re just plain curious. Either way, congrats! It’s a big step and can be both exciting and a little scary. Walking into a store full of adult toys can feel like entering a whole other world. But don’t worry—I’ve been there too and I’m here to help you get the most out of your first visit and make it less awkward. Here’s what to expect and how to make it a fun and stress-free experience.
Step 1: Getting Comfortable
Let’s get the obvious out of the way first: it’s normal to feel weird. You’re surrounded by things society doesn’t always talk about openly, but trust me, the people working in these stores have seen it all. No question is too weird and no product is too out there. Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., a renowned sexologist, says “Sexual wellness shops are judgment-free zones. The staff is trained to help so don’t be shy about asking for advice or recommendations.”
When my wife Sandra and I went to our first adult shop together we felt a nervous energy because of the sex toy stigma. But once you realize everyone is there for the same reason—to explore pleasure—that tension fades. Honestly, I walked out with more questions than when I went in but that’s part of the fun. Exploring and learning as you go is key!
Do Some Window Shopping First
Before walking into the store, it’s a good idea to browse their website or online catalog if they have one. That way you’ll have some idea of what they offer and you won’t feel so overwhelmed when you walk in. Plus it’s good to have an idea of what products might interest you so you’re not wandering around like a deer in headlights.
If you have a specific product in mind, awesome! If not that’s okay too. Just write down a few general ideas like what sensations or experiences you’re curious about. You’ll be surprised how much this will help narrow down your visit.
What If You’re Worried About Being Seen?
One of the biggest concerns people have when visiting a sex toy store for the first time is running into someone they know. That can be a little awkward but rest assured people are generally minding their own business. However, if you’re still worried about it there are a few ways to manage this fear. One option is to visit a store in a different neighborhood where you’re less likely to run into people you know. Or if that’s too much of a hassle consider stores that offer online ordering with discreet packaging. A lot of sex shops understand the need for privacy and they’ve got you covered.
Ask Questions to Break the Ice
When you first walk in you might feel like just looking around without saying anything. That’s totally fine but if you’re feeling a bit more adventurous don’t be afraid to break the ice by asking the staff a few questions. You can start with something simple like “What’s popular right now?” or “What’s a good vibrator for beginners?”
Rachel Sommer agrees. “Talk to the staff. Their job is to make you feel comfortable and help you find products that suit your needs and preferences. It’s their expertise that can turn an awkward experience into an educational one.”
Personally, I find asking questions is one of the best ways to learn about different types of toys, materials, and even which brands are worth your time. Every store has its own vibe and inventory and the staff are often more than happy to walk you through the options.
Try Not To Overthink It
Walking into a sex shop can feel like you’re about to make the biggest decision of your life. But let’s not get too carried away. You’re just buying a sex toy and it doesn’t have to be perfect. The first one you buy may not even be your favorite in the long run. And that’s okay! There’s no pressure to get it right the first time.
Our long-time reader Leo told me: “I spent way too much time worrying about choosing the ‘right’ toy. Looking back I wish I’d just relaxed and enjoyed the process more.”
I like to say that sex toys are just like clothes—you won’t find the perfect fit every time but that’s part of the journey. And the good news? Most stores have a range of affordable options so you don’t have to break the bank just to try something new.
Everyone’s Experience is Different
What works for someone else might not work for you and that’s normal. Some people are all about the high-tech app-controlled vibrators while others might prefer something simple and classic like a handheld wand. My advice? Be open to trying different options but don’t feel like you need to “keep up” with anyone else’s tastes.
Rachel Sommer says “Sexual wellness is highly individualized. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. Listen to your body and preferences above all else.”
I think this goes hand in hand with being open-minded. If a sex toy catches your eye—even if it’s something you’ve never considered before—ask about it. It might be the key to a new experience you didn’t even know you wanted!
Browse the Store at Your Own Pace
Most sex toy stores are divided into different sections: vibrators, dildos, lingerie, BDSM gear, lubricants, etc. Take your time browsing each section. If one area seems a bit too advanced for your current comfort level just skip it for now. No one’s keeping score.
A quick story from one of my first visits: when I first started exploring the “niche” sections like BDSM I felt like I was out of my depth. But after talking to the staff I realized no one expects you to know everything. It’s perfectly fine to learn as you go. Just go at your own pace and don’t be afraid to ask for an explanation if something is unclear.
Consider Safety and Hygiene
Another important tip especially for beginners is to pay attention to the materials used in the toys. It’s crucial to choose products made from body-safe materials like silicone, stainless steel, or glass. Avoid products made from porous materials as they can harbor bacteria and are harder to clean. Stores usually carry cleaning supplies so feel free to ask for advice on how to clean your toy and how to maintain it long-term (it’s also important to know when to replace sex toys).
Rachel Sommer says “Body-safe products are important for both short-term and long-term health. Don’t be afraid to ask about the materials even if it feels like a silly question. Your body will thank you!”
Visit During Off-Peak Hours
If you’re feeling extra nervous about your first visit try to go during off-peak hours. Midday during the week is usually a good time. This way you’ll have more privacy and the staff will have more time to answer your questions without feeling rushed.
“I went in on a Tuesday afternoon and the place was almost empty,” says our reader Carla from San Francisco. “It was so much easier to shop without feeling like I had to hurry.”
Doing your naughty shopping during quiet hours can help with any lingering nerves and give you the space to fully browse the store without feeling like everyone’s watching.
Final Thoughts
In the end, visiting a sex shop for the first time is about discovering more than just the products—it’s about discovering yourself. Whether you walk out with something in hand or just a better idea of what you like that’s a win. Be kind to yourself and remember you’re in control of the experience. Take your time, enjoy the ride, and don’t be afraid to laugh at the occasional awkward moment.
Still worried? Well, let me tell you that Sandra and I have been visiting so many stores over the years and I can tell you from experience it gets easier each time. Before you know it you’ll be walking in like a pro and who knows you might even be the one giving advice to newbies someday.
Happy vibing!
Tim
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