Why Google and AI Overviews Fail at Recommending the Best Sex Toys

Choosing the best sex toy for you is, needless to say, a highly personal matter. Every body is different, and it’s impossible to know at a glance what’s going to make you feel good (well, hopefully a little better than “good”).

With so many sex toys that offer so many different features out there, it can be daunting to choose the right one. And choosing the wrong toy can be downright painful.

Finding the best option for you will likely involve a lot of experimentation and a fair bit of research. So, what better place to start than a quick Google search?

Well, not so fast… It could be that the top Google and Google AI searches might just be leading you down the wrong path when it comes to choosing the best sex toy for your unique needs.

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Google’s Top Hits

Okay, I’m not going to go on a full rant against Google here, but when it comes to looking up products, they leave a lot to be desired.

But let me give you an example.

What comes up when you look for “the best” of a particular type of sex toy? If your results are anything like mine, the top hits are going to be from sites like Cosmopolitan, GQ, Men’s Health, etc. And that’s not even counting the sponsored results.

But take one look at a top 10 list of recommended sex toys from one of those sites and you’ll quickly notice that it doesn’t seem like anyone at those sites actually…tested the products out.

Looking through them, I only see stock photos and basic descriptions that they likely lifted off the product website:

Going through the list of the “cons” of each toy, you’ll find they usually just mention price or whether something is larger or smaller than average; they never mention anything specific. Price and size might be genuine problems, but where’s the proof that someone actually used them and didn’t just read the specs and glance at some reviews?

And that is assuming they have pros and cons at all…

But let’s look at some other popular review sites, because GQ isn’t the only one doing this…

In an article on eco-friendly toys, Reviewed recommended the Gaia Eco, claiming it’s perfect for “precise stimulation”. While I didn’t hate the Gaia Eco, I think it would be difficult for anyone who’s actually used it to praise it so highly and not talk about some of its shortcomings. Yes, it offers precise stimulation, but that’s because it feels like a thin, cheap, plastic tube.

Another example of where these generic lists fall short is the concept of what makes a good beginner’s toy.

Cosmopolitan (which has given questionable advice before) touts The Billionaire from The Smile Makers Collection as a great beginner’s toy:

Their “review” is just an explanation of how to use it, with no indication that someone at Cosmo actually tested one out, put themselves in the mindset of a beginner, and gave it an honest review.

I have tested and reviewed the Billionaire, and while it is a perfectly good toy, it’s not one that I would necessarily recommend to a beginner. Here’s how I summarized my review:

From its lack of a tapered tip to its intense vibrations, I can imagine this toy would be uncomfortable for someone who has never used a toy before. And of course, some beginners might not mind those things, but they should at least be mentioned as a potential negative in their “review”.

Instead, a toy I would absolutely recommend to a beginner is the Lovehoney Mon Ami. A rabbit toy? For a beginner? Well, why not?

While its diameter is a little bigger than the Billionaire’s, its shape is a lot less finicky than most rabbit vibes, making it easier to use. It also has 7 vibration patterns and 5 speeds to choose from, meaning that with 35 combinations, you can really find the perfect vibe that works for you.

Most importantly for a beginner toy, it allows you to increase and decrease the intensity without having to cycle through progressively more intense options. And unlike the comparatively powerful Billionaire, the vibrations never got that intense.

A downside for a seasoned sex toy collector? Maybe. A benefit for a beginner? Absolutely.

But let’s keep going down the list of what Google deems the best resources for consumers looking for the best sex toys.

As a millennial, I am honor-bound to bring up BuzzFeed as well, of course, because they’re no better. In their “30 ‘Rabbit’ Sex Toys” review, BuzzFeed just lists the basics about each toy as well as featuring a “promising review”, which is always just a variation of, “This toy is great! Love it!”

Now, that’s nice to know, I guess, but it’s not exactly a detailed description, and it doesn’t tell me whether I personally will get any enjoyment out of a product.

When it comes to something as intimate as a sex toy, it’s impossible to convey everything about it in a list of specs and a review that doesn’t get any deeper than “It’s great!” So… how intense is it? Does it come with a cloth bag? Are the buttons easy to press while my hands are covered in lube?

Compare that level of disengagement to the videos we post here. Sure, my nail polish is chipped more often than not, and I constantly flub words, but at least when we post videos, you can tell that an actual person is holding the toy and talking about it from experience:

Technically, none of the articles I shared with you here has directly said, “We tested X number of products, and these were the clear winners,” but it’s a bit strange to tout a product that no one on these teams actually tested (allegedly, of course).

If none of these reviews were based on actual experience, then what are they based on?

Reviewing a sex toy entirely based on the information provided on the manufacturer’s website is like reviewing a movie purely based on the trailer.

 

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A Broader Issue

Have you ever noticed that, in general, Google tends to send you to the same few sites over and over if you’re doing any kind of product research, as opposed to a dedicated, smaller site?

Well, that’s no accident.

It used to be that Google’s goal was to get people off of Google as quickly as possible and onto the sites that would actually help in their search. But now it seems that Google wants you to stick around, either by using their AI feature or watching something on YouTube. And when they send you to another site, it’s usually one of a small handful of sites that all have the same information.

Which makes sense from a business perspective, but won’t help you actually find the best air purifier, or sex toy, for that matter, and will generally limit what you’re seeing.

HouseFresh recently did a series of articles I absolutely recommend checking out all about this phenomenon and how it’s hurting smaller independent websites, small companies, and you. If you’re buying a product, potentially even a product more important than a sex toy (yes, shockingly, they do exist) and the top 5 products you keep being recommended haven’t even been tested by any of the people touting them, can you really trust that they’re that good?

For example, HouseFresh noted that Forbes started putting out articles on pet care (something Forbes is…so well-known for?). Now, when it comes to the health of my pets, why should I trust someone at Forbes to know what’s best for them?

I remember what a nightmare it was trying to buy cat food when I first got my cat, because it seemed like once I reached the bottom of every site, there was some fine-print disclosure that they got a commission, or that the entire page was actually an ad.

Finally, I realized that the much safer bet was to just ask someone who worked at PetCo what I should buy (in case you’re wondering, Taste of the Wild for dry food, and Merrick wet food are my cat’s favorites).

Often, going to a brick-and-mortar store can be hugely helpful when making a big purchase, but not necessarily when it comes to sex toys. Asking a salesperson even the most basic question can feel incredibly embarrassing, and a salesperson who’s a little too invested in showing you something can feel a lot more violating than it would at, you know, literally any other store.

One benefit of review sites like ours is that we imitate, as best we can, the benefits of looking at something at a store:

Whenever I review a product, I think about who will like it, who won’t like it, what situations it will be good for (travel, partner play, etc.), and, of course, whether I like it. While I’m always honest about my own feelings, I try to point out why something I disliked about a product might be a favorite feature for someone else (or vice versa), so that someone reading my review can make an educated, informed decision about whether they’ll like a sex toy or not.

 

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Unhelpful AI

With all that’s been said about AI recently, “They’re not good at recommending sex toys” is a pretty small complaint, but one that’s worth talking about.

Because if anything, the AI results for finding a good toy are even worse than the Google results.

Looking up the AI results for Best Rabbit vibrators got me similarly disappointing results. When I tried, the only source they offered was…Amazon.

You could argue that’s a little bit better than what Google does, since at least those reviews come from real people, but let’s be honest, it’s not always the highest quality goods that end up on the Amazon homepage.

Besides which, a lot of great companies don’t sell things on Amazon, meaning they won’t appear in the AI search.

Another example is butt plugs. The top product that the Google AI recommends is the Njoy Pure Plug. It’s a perfectly fine product, but it’s a metal toy. While a lot of people might prefer that, surely a metal toy is much more niche than one made of silicone, like basically everything else in our 3 top picks.

If people buy toys based on what the AI recommends, then quite simply, they are unlikely to get a product that’s particularly good or particularly suited to their needs.

The AI is just getting these results from the top Google options, which are from articles that review products that their staff hasn’t even tested. If you want to really know whether a product is right for you, the best bet is to see what actual people say about it, and not rely on basic overviews.

Also, if AI sounds like it’s trying to pitch you on certain products, they definitely are. Where do you think their information is coming from? The product page itself, which is, by definition, trying to sell you on… the product.

When we write reviews for this site, we actually, you know, test the products, and I think this is clear when you read our reviews.

Of course, I look at a product’s page online for reference (measurements, specs, etc.), but it would be impossible to write a full, quality review of a toy just by looking at the product page and reading a few reviews. I do occasionally reference other people’s reviews in my review if, for example, multiple people say a toy broke down after having it for only three months.

 

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They Even Got Reddit…

It used to be that if you were tired of the sponsored pages and the impersonal “Top 10” reviews by people who clearly hadn’t come within 50 miles of the products they were recommending, you could simply head over to Reddit to find out what product suited your needs the best.

The upside was that Reddit was used by ordinary people (sometimes with the same problems and personal tastes you have) talking candidly about products they tried.

The only downside was that someone on Reddit likely hadn’t tried multiple products the way we can on a site like ours, so there was less of a broad perspective. But it was still a good place to go to find basic information about what worked and what didn’t.

Notice my use of the past tense in that paragraph above. Yeah, unfortunately, Reddit is now overrun with bots and AI.

Companies can easily spam a Reddit page with glowing product reviews, and popular subreddits were even allegedly hijacked by spammers if not being outright bought to sell their own products.

I don’t know about you, but any time I look up product recommendations on Reddit, I’m on the lookout for inhuman-sounding language or oddly specific SEO-type language, because there’s just so much of it these days. Even posts that seem completely human turn me off if the praise is just a little too effusive.

 

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How We Work

If you’ve ever wondered how our review system works, let me give you the lowdown.

First, my editor (hi, Andy!) sends me a list of products to see if I’d be willing to try them. I almost always am, so he purchases them and sends them to me.

Companies don’t send us products for free, and we would never take something for free in exchange for a positive review. The toys are all purchased by our company.

When the toys arrive, I test them out, write a review of them, and get paid the same amount per review, good or bad (well, I do get more for “Best of” articles because of the longer word count).

That’s it.

Toy companies are not sending me designer bags or taking me on luxury vacations in exchange for good reviews. In fact, we make an effort to review products from smaller brands, not just the heavy-hitters. So, we’re not trying to get the attention of one brand in particular to pay us in products or brand deals.

No matter the price of the toy, no matter the company that makes the toy, I get paid the exact same amount for my review. Half the time, I don’t know what a toy costs until I’ve already tested it and made my unboxing/first impressions video.

So I’m not lavishing praise on a subpar toy in an effort to get sent a better one in the future.

“But what about the affiliate programs?” I can hear you asking. “Don’t you get a commission based on those?”

While I commend your savviness for asking me that, the affiliate programs don’t impact me personally. I don’t even know about commission rates or affiliate codes beforehand. The “Use discount code XYZ for X% off!” portion of the review gets added in after I’ve submitted my draft.

The only payment I get is for hitting my word count, and once I get paid for a review, I don’t get another penny out of it.

 

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Why Reviews Matter

I also strive to be as thoughtful as possible in my reviews.

For example, let’s look at “Beginner toys” again. Common wisdom would have it that “beginner” toys should be as basic as possible, with a simplistic button system, and preferably quite cheap.

But I have to disagree. In my experience as someone who was once a sex toy beginner, a beginner should have something with a lot of customizable options so that they can decide exactly what they want. Far too many “beginner” toys cycle through increasingly intense vibration patterns, which might be downright painful to someone unused to vibrators.

I would think a beginner would actively want the ability to increase or decrease the intensity of the vibrations, even if it means more buttons to have to deal with, because that’s how I felt. So, yes, counterintuitively, I will recommend something with a complicated button system to a beginner and leave a toy with a basic “cycle through the patterns” system to the pros.

Also, if someone is using their very first toy, they will have the time and the patience to learn a complicated button system. And as for being cheap—well, a truly cheap toy that’s poorly made might scare someone off sex toys for life.

I will also have no problem recommending a toy that’s big in terms of length to a beginner, as long as the diameter isn’t too wide (again, giving the side-eye to Cosmo’s Billionaire recommendation).

I used to read up on the details of every toy I tried before I tried it, and often found that things I thought I would love, I simply…didn’t. And vice versa.

Yes, every body is different, but I am a person with a vagina, so reading about my personal experience with these toys is going to be a lot more helpful than just reading about the specs online. It could even be that something I viewed as a positive is something you know you’d hate, or that something I mentioned casually is a make-or-break for you.

For example, no toy description that I’ve ever seen from these sites that show up on Google’s front page talks about how easy it is to press the buttons while your hands are covered in lube. But if I struggle with a toy because the buttons just aren’t button-ing, you best believe that’s going in my review, and probably knock down at least a half-star from my overall rating.

Why? Because being able to press buttons while your hands are covered in lube is a very important quality. In terms of usability, it’s far more important than what type of charging system it uses or a lot of other features that show up in the specs.

While Google and AI can be helpful for finding out the basic specs of certain toys, they should not be your only resource for finding a toy that will suit your personal needs the best. For that, it’s a much better idea to turn to someone who’s actually reviewed the toys themselves and can give you a much fuller overview.

Happy vibing!

Becky