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I hope you all had a wonderful October and that it was just the right blend of whimsical, spooky, and cozy to suit your tastes. November certainly has its charms, but right now, it’s time to look back on this past month and see what all was going on in the adult toy world while we were busy enjoying everything pumpkin spice-flavored and binge-watching our favorite Halloween movies (anyone else have a nostalgic love for Halloween H2O? Anyone at all? Yeah, I thought as much).
Doing Your Duty Sex
A new article by Vice looked into the phenomenon of “Duty Sex”, which is exactly what it sounds like: having sex with a partner out of a sense of duty, not your own arousal. The main takeaway is that duty sex comes in two main varieties: approach and avoidance. If your goal is to approach your partner, that means you’re not necessarily in the mood, but you still want to be close to your partner and give them pleasure. During this type of sex, both partners generally report feeling satisfied. And that makes sense. Even the closest of partners aren’t going to have the exact same arousal levels at the exact same time. And as long as your partner reciprocates in whatever way you like the best at some point, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel close to your partner, even if your arousal level doesn’t match theirs.
Then there’s the duty sex people have because of avoidance. When the goal is avoidance, that means having sex with a partner to, well, avoid something negative. This could mean worrying they’ll cheat, or that they’ll be upset at a lack of sexual activity. As you could probably guess, this type of sex leads to less satisfaction for both parties. Also, well, the article doesn’t say as much directly, but I’ll go ahead and say it…that’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship. So, next time you’re about to get freaky with a partner even when you yourself are not feeling particularly freaky, ask yourself why.
Now, the study only involved 252 college students (only 72 of whom were male), so it’s hard to draw any definitive conclusions, and it would be interesting to see what new insights we’d get if a wider variety of people were polled. The study also found that duty sex was reported by men and women at similar levels, which I find interesting. Again, though, I’ll wait to draw any conclusions until a more rigorous study has been conducted.
Yet Another Reason to Hate Amazon…Maybe
While Reddit is not always known for its reliable, level-headed users, some people on r/SexToys have reported that a lot of sex toys have seemingly vanished from Amazon. Now, I have my own issues with Amazon, from their unreliability to their treatment of employees, so you best believe my pitchfork was being sharpened when I found out about this. But as I read through the Reddit message boards in question, it seems that Amazon hasn’t gone puritanical on us. Besides, if you actually go to Amazon and look up, say, male masturbators, you’ll quickly see that there are plenty of options available.
Aside from a few conspiracy theorists (who weren’t afraid to get real sexist real fast), the general consensus seems to be that the toys that got removed were actually made from unsafe materials. Specifically, some users speculated that it was mostly toys made with porous TPE that had their listings removed. While I’m always hesitant to applaud Amazon for…anything, I’m slightly more willing to believe that sex toys were removed for that reason, not because of some devious feminist plot to turn everyone straight and vanilla (oh, Reddit, never change). That said, if Amazon did stop selling sex toys completely, don’t worry, because we’ll always point you in the direction of a specific company’s website, and usually give you a discount code.
Hot New Releases
October has been a great month for new releases, and unlike the hot new movies, these toys won’t make you feel like we’re existentially doomed both individually and societally. At least I certainly hope not.
Womanizer, one of my favorite brands, just introduced a new toy, the Snap. It’s delightfully compact, and even fits in an accompanying charging case, which is not only hygienic, but also more discreet than charging it (let alone keeping it) out in the open. At $79, it’s more affordable than other Womanizer options, but it doesn’t have all the features Womanizer is known for, such as its autopilot mode, climax control, and smart silence. However, it has the Pleasure Air technology that Womanizer is most famous for, so you’ll still get that unique Womanizer experience. Whether you’re new to the brand and want to give them a try, or you’re a die-hard fan who wants to take their pleasure on the go, think about snapping up the Snap.
Another exciting new toy is the Lovense Glint. This butt plug is specifically designed for partner play, with its touch motion sensor that responds to your partner’s, well, touch whenever they move against the base. It also has app compatibility. Small enough for beginners, this is a great toy if you want to ease into the world of anal play.
Kiiroo, a company always on the cutting edge, has a new dildo in their lineup, the Julio. But of course, being Kiiroo, this isn’t your average dildo. Julio is an interactive thrusting dildo, designed to be as realistic as possible. Well, aside from the fact that it also vibrates and has Bluetooth connectivity. Because as far as I’m concerned, toys should be an upgrade from reality.
Blush has also come out with an exciting new lineup, their Queen’s Reign line. These gorgeous toys are exactly my aesthetic, with their jewelry-like designs. One of the toys is even designed to be worn as a necklace, though it’s not exactly discreet. Outrageous and fun, some of these have already sold out, so if you want to feel like a queen during your self-care time (or buy something for a partner as an early holiday present), you should get on that! The collection even includes a pin set and a bandana, which you can either use as a fashion statement or during some role-play.
Happy vibing!
Becky
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