How Pop Culture Gets Sex Toys Wrong (and Occasionally Right)

Well, Ryan Murphy is at it again with a new show. This one follows arguably the most famous historical woman murderer: Lizzie Borden. Personally, I’d rather just listen to the soundtrack of Lizzie: The Musical, but there’s always something interesting to be gleaned from watching a work of historical fiction. In this case, it’s the sex toys (what else?).

Cosmopolitan outlined two of the toys used in the show and talks about their real-life counterparts. The Veedee, an actual product from the time period, has a cameo in Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story. In the show, the Veedee vibrator is prescribed as a cure for period cramps. While the official instructions for the Veedee did not mention putting it in any such part of the anatomy, it was advertised as a cure for everything from flatulence to double chins. While modern toys have clear instruction manuals that you really shouldn’t deviate from, it’s safe to say that a few creative Victorian women took the initiative to place the Veedee in certain unmentionable areas, and I’m sure they were much better off for it.

The other toy featured in the show is the Chattanooga. This steam-powered device acts as a dildo to treat the main character’s unusually impenetrable hymen (it’s Ryan Murphy, just…just roll with it). However, unlike the Veedee, there is no concrete evidence that the Chattanooga was a real toy, though it was likely based on an amalgamation of real devices, as well as ones that have entered popular myth. Namely, the myth of…

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Hysteria

It’s a story we’ve probably all heard by now: Victorian women were treated for their hysteria by being given vibrators. There was even a movie about it! Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but this simply isn’t true. I mean, the “vibrators are a cure for hysteria” part isn’t true. The movie exists. Unfortunately. In the film, we’re told a version of the old myth, namely that male doctors gave women orgasms by hand, then invented devices to stimulate them better and at home. While, again, this isn’t true, I just…don’t like this myth and I don’t like the movie.

For this to be true, either A) women came to their doctors for medical assistance and were assaulted in the name of curing the nebulous disease of hysteria, or B) silly women are incapable of understanding their own anatomy and needed a stranger to pleasure them because they couldn’t figure out how to do it themselves. Now, if either of those were a fanfic premise, I would read it, but pinning those falsehoods on real women of the era? No, thank you.

 

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A Sudden Craze

What’s my favorite vibrator reference in popular culture? Donovan’s “Mellow Yellow”. For decades, people speculated over the line “Electrical banana/Is gonna be a sudden craze/Electrical banana/Is bound to be the very next phase/They call it mellow yellow”. Knowing Donovan’s influences, it had to be about drugs, right? Well, not exactly.

In his autobiography, he clarified that line was based on the time he was rummaging through his parents’ room and happened upon his mother’s vibrator. See, people act like Donovan wasn’t as good as Bob Dylan, but did Bob Dylan ever write about vibrators? I don’t think so. And if he did, you’ll have to let me know, because that is one person’s discography I refuse to suffer through again.

 

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Obligatory SATC Mention

As a huge Sex and the City fan, my first introduction to sex toys was through the show. There was the rabbit vibrator that Charlotte became addicted to, to the point of needing an intervention. There was Miranda’s toy stash that her religious housekeeper briefly confiscated. And there was the “neck massager” that Samantha used to soothe Brady when his special oscillating baby chair wasn’t working. There’s also Samantha’s classic line while shopping at Sharper Image for said “neck massager”: “That will burn your clit off.”/“Even with underwear?”/“Even with ski pants.” I get paid to write sex toy reviews, and I have never remotely approached the greatness of that line.

It is important to acknowledge that Sex and the City was ahead of its time in a lot of ways, while also acknowledging that it hasn’t aged perfectly, especially for a show so dedicated to sex positivity. And I don’t think the way it depicts sex toys is perfect either. Obviously that’s much less of an issue, since sex toys are not a human minority group, but it still reflects certain attitudes that seem a little outdated by today’s standards.

Now, I could be wrong because it’s been a while since I’ve binged the whole show, but we never see toys being used in a sexual context. If we see them being used at all (Charlotte with her rabbit comes to mind), it’s always a little bit silly. Otherwise, they’re safely tucked away in drawers to be used in private while boyfriends and partners are absent.

Which brings me to another point—toys are never shown as being something for couples to enjoy together. The only time I remember a character expressing a desire for props in the bedroom was in the season 2 episode “The Freak Show”, in which Samantha goes out with a douchebag lawyer and discovers a BDSM closet in his apartment. While that’s not the reason she breaks things off with him (he previously made a disparaging comment about her age), the joke is clearly meant to be that only a “freak” would have an entire closet of whips and chains. A woman having a bedside drawer with a few toys is one thing, but a guy who likes handcuffs? Now, that’s taking things too far!

As progressive as the show is, every time a man has some preference that deviates from the PIV norm (golden showers, spanking, etc.), it’s treated as a red flag that needs to be fixed. In that same episode, a man is considered a “freak” because he’s really passionate about going down on women. I can only imagine what the girls on the show would say if a guy wanted to use a suction toy to get things going, or even asked for a couples’ toy to be used in some kind of partner play. The implication is that someone who’s good in bed only needs their body (specifically, their genitals) to give and receive pleasure. Anything extra (or even being into body parts like feet) is a strange fetish to be gossiped about over brunch.

While there are still plenty of problems with modern day representations of sexuality, it is true that the use of sex toys has become far more normalized. And that’s great! Sex toys can and should be used by anyone, solo or with a partner. They’re an amazing way to explore our sexuality, not to mention our sensuality. But seriously, if you have a BDSM closet, you should probably tell someone about it, set your boundaries first, etc. and not just let them find you handcuffed inside while “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred plays in the background.

Happy vibing!

Becky