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Are you curious about eating ass, or having your ass eaten? It feels like this is the Final Frontier even for folks who are experienced and adventurous. If you would like to learn some “do”s, “don’t”s, and tips and tricks around this kind of intimacy, read on to learn more from our sex educators!
Here’s what you need to know to get started with some butt love:
- Cleanliness and Preparation: You’ll both feel better about this journey if the butts in question are squeaky-clean. Some folks feel like they are cleaner if they shave, trim, or wax hair in that area. Create a setting where everyone is comfortable — soft sheets and blankets, dim lights, your favorite music, and so on.
- Flavored Lube: If either of you is concerned about taste or smell, pick up a couple of flavored lubes (which, just so you know, usually don’t taste as good as they smell). This can increase confidence, which is very sexy.
- Best Ass-Eating Positions: Doggy is a classic for a reason. It’s easy, accessible, and generally comfortable. If you’re feeling a little more adventurous, try reverse face-sitting (receiving partner on giving partner’s face, facing their feet).
- Ass-Eating Techniques: You and your partner will figure out pretty quickly what works best for you, but you can start by using your tongue in a gentle circular motion. Don’t forget the rest of your partner’s body!
Table Of Contents
What Is a Rim Job?
William Shakespeare wrote that “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” And kissing and licking your partner’s anus has other names as well: analingus, rim job, rimming, eating ass, tossing salad, booty munching, and lots more.
This is an intimate act that requires a good deal of comfort and trust between partners. Some see it as the ultimate act of acceptance and desire. It’s also a great warmup for penetrative anal sex.
The anus and surrounding tissue are rich with nerve endings (if you think how uncomfortable certain happenings can be, you will recognize just how sensitive this area is), which means that it is capable of delivering intense pleasure. Some folks also find an extra thrill in exploring something that has traditionally been at least a little taboo.
What Does Rimming Feel Like?
Every body is different, and everybody performs this act differently, so we can’t tell you exactly what it’s going to feel like for you and your partner. But keep in mind that, as we wrote above, the anus and its neighboring area are very sensitive.
And if this is uncharted territory to you, it will be even more sensitive because it’s never been explored before. You can expect an intimate, sensual, possibly intense experience.
Note: This Quora thread features many descriptions of receiving a rim job. (Related: What Does Anal Sex Feel Like?)
Is It Safe to Eat Ass?
With proper hygiene (and regular precautions around sexual health), eating ass is generally safe. Clean skin is just skin, after all. But we do want to make sure that the skin is really clean. You and your partner can take a warm, soapy, sensual shower together before the big act, so you will both be confident that everything is nice and clean.
Some folks like to do an enema or anal douche in preparation. That’s usually not necessary (soap and water do a fine job) but if it makes you feel more comfortable, go right ahead! Just be sure to use only plain water or mild saline solution; added chemicals or fragrance can cause irritation. Using a dental dam is also an option.
One precaution that you do need to observe is that if you are a person with a vulva, anal play of any sort should either be the meal of the day or the dessert. Your partner should never move from ass to vagina (or ass to mouth, for any gender) because there is a risk of transferring bacteria that are fine and healthy in the digestive system but not in other areas of the body, such as E coli.
Do Women Like Rimming?
Women are not a monolith and there is no sexual (or non-sexual) experience that all women enjoy. But many women do enjoy anal sex and rimming, both giving and receiving. It is an act that has the potential to be very pleasing to a sensitive area of the body, so of course it feels good to some women!
However, many women do acknowledge that they are not able to be comfortable and relaxed enough to enjoy it and have an anal orgasm.
We recommend that women believe their partners if their partners express a desire to eat ass. They wouldn’t suggest it if they didn’t want to do it! However, we also recommend that partners not press the issue. No means no, and nagging and pressure will ensure that no stays no.
How About Men?
Men aren’t a monolith either! But yes, men can also enjoy receiving analingus. Anyone with an anus can enjoy receiving, and anyone can enjoy giving. There is no reason to limit this act based on gender or orientation.
And, if you are a man and you are worried that wanting or liking to be rimmed somehow makes you gay, it doesn’t.
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, so this should not be a worry in the first place. But also, there is no sex act that defines gayness.
If you are a man who wants to have sex of any kind with another man, you could be gay (or bisexual). If you are a man who wants to have sex of any kind with a woman, you could be straight (or bisexual). Sexuality is about people, not sex acts.
Are There Any Risks?
Life is risky. And so is sex: there is no sex act that is without risk, whether it’s disease, infection, injury, and/or pregnancy. However, with reasonable precautions, we can reduce that risk to a level that is acceptable to most adults.
One of the first precautions is screening for sexually transmitted infections. Any STI that could be spread through genital sex play can also be spread through anal sex play, and anal sex play is also at higher risk for Hepatitis A. Both you and your partner should have a full panel test for STIs.
If you are not monogamous, or if it has been less than six weeks since your last partner, you should practice safer sex. This includes condoms and dental dams for oral sex, including analingus.
The CDC has concluded that rimming is not a high-risk activity as far as HIV is concerned. HIV is not typically transmitted through either feces or saliva, so anus-to-mouth contact with healthy, unbroken skin is lower risk than other sexual activities.
Of course, “lower risk” is not no risk, so please re-read the above paragraph.
How to Eat Ass Like a Porn Star!
If you have made it this far, you’ve probably decided that you DO want to do this, so we’ll walk through some techniques to heighten the experience for both you and your partner.
1. Cleanliness and Preparation
The experience will be far more enjoyable for everyone involved if there are no worries about cleanliness. You can share a hot soapy shower to make sure of that! This also avoids any awkward conversations about personal hygiene.
The receiving partner may want to consider shaving, waxing, or trimming the hair in the anal area. Like pubic hair, this is a highly personal choice but one that your partner may (reasonably) have a preference around.
And like pubic hair, butt hair holds scents and can not feel good on the tongue. It can also reduce sensitivity.
If you have a history of digestive difficulties, you may even want to plan a few days in advance and eat foods that are less likely to be problematic.
2. Flavored Lube
Flavored lube may make both you and your partner comfortable if either of you is worried about taste or smell, and you can have fun picking out flavors together and building anticipation.
Make sure to pick body-friendly lubes, because as we’ve explained, the skin in the anal area is delicate and sensitive. The receiving partner should do a patch test on the inner arm or thigh, and the giving partner should also do a quick taste test (some lubes do *not* taste as good as they smell) before the main event.
3. Best Ass-Eating Positions
The best position for any kind of sex is where both of you are comfortable (or where the excitement outweighs the discomfort). When you’re trying something new, we recommend going for comfort above all; there will be plenty of time for gymnastics and complicated choreography in the future.
- Doggy-style is a good position for beginners (and not just for beginners, experienced ass-eaters still come back to it over and over). It’s comfortable for both partners, and the giving partner has control. The receiving partner gets on hands and knees, and arches their back to present their rear end to the giving partner.
- Missionary also works well; here, the receiving partner lies on their back with legs spread and the giving partner lies between the receiving partner’s legs. Face-sitting and reverse face-sitting are a little more advanced because the receiving partner has the most control.
- Spread eagle is basically the ass-eating version of 69. Partner 1 reclines with legs spread and slightly bent, and Partner 2 straddles Partner 1’s chest. Partner 2 bends down to reach Partner 1’s butt, and this puts Partner 2’s butt in Partner 1’s face.
Putting a pillow under the receiving partner’s hips, especially in the missionary position, usually provides a better angle for the giving partner.
For the ultimate in comfort, you might consider investing in a “rim chair” that is specially designed to put the receiving partner’s butt in the perfect position for the giving partner to settle in for a lengthy session.
4. Ass-Eating Techniques
Especially if one or both of you are new to this, start off slowly. It’s a new sensation and can be a little overwhelming for the receiving partner.
Kiss and lick around the anal area before going for the goodies so that you can both get used to the sensations. Use your tongue to make circles around and then on the anus.
If you have performed oral sex on your partner before, it’s a fair assumption that they’ll probably enjoy similar moves at the back door.
Don’t neglect the rest of your partner’s body — you can use your hands to stroke, caress, or even use a wand vibrator on other erogenous zones.
Maggie
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