Primal BDSM: What It Means And How To Do It!

A face, part female, part lion

People often associate BDSM with painful sex acts such as whipping, handcuffing, and chaining their partner. Others think of the 50 Shades book trilogy with its infamous “red room.” But there’s also a sub-niche called Primal BDSM, and it’s something completely different.

In this guide, we will discuss everything you need to know about primal sex and share our story how we did it. Read on!


What Is Primal?

Primal play in the context of BDSM refers to engaging in sexual activities that are deeply instinctual, raw, and unstructured, often focusing on the natural, animalistic behaviors inherent in human sexuality. It’s a way of connecting with primal instincts and desires, stripping away societal norms and conventions to engage in a more natural and uninhibited form of sexual expression.

Unlike conventional exchanges, primal play is a state of mind that strips off the civility aspect and instead employs ‘jungle-inspired’ antics like scratching, biting, growling, and wrestling to convey pain and pleasure. Primal encourages both the dominant and submissive partners to explore their innate urges and act on impulse, ultimately promoting natural and raw fun.

A part human, part wolf couple howling at the full moon

So, what does it mean to be primal? It’s all about letting go of your civilized behavior and bringing out the animal in you. You have to follow what your instinct tells you. One interesting sexual role play is identifying yourself closely with an animal of your choice. You can adapt the behavior of a lion and pin your partner to the bed or floor as you hover over them. Others also like to mirror the traits of mythical creatures like the unicorn or dragon.

While there are numerous similarities with conventional BDSM, primal play is more about taking up an animal’s role and acting on it. Unlike the former, which is built solely on a dom-sub relationship, the latter can take different relationship forms, including predator-prey and hunter-hunted. The Dom takes up the hunter role, and the Sub is happy to be overwhelmed and conquered.

Note: Primal is not the same as pet play. Pet play involves more roleplaying, toys, and costumes, while Primal play (most of the time) doesn’t.

 


What Is Primal BDSM Play?

1. Instincts

Do you know why some people feel awkward during sex? It’s because they don’t follow their instincts. They feel they must control themselves and satisfy their partner instead of letting nature take its course.

As long as you and your partner trust each other, there’s no reason not to let your raw emotions surface.

2. Fewer Adult Toys

Some feel intimidated by looking at sex toys. Just the mere thought of having that leather whip making contact with your skin is enough to make you cringe.

The good news is you can do primal fetish with fewer toys or none at all. Instead, you’ll use the power of your nails, teeth, skin, hair, and strength.

A man and a woman involved in primal play

3. Sniffing, Growling, Scratching, Wrestling, And/Or Biting.

You can do whatever your instincts dictate to you. Expect a combination of hair pulling, biting, and even a wrestling match in primal play. There could also be mutual masturbation, massages, and licking each other, just like in the animal kingdom.

4. Scents Could Play A Big Role

One of the most natural ways animals find a mate is by using their sense of smell. Similarly, scents could play a vital role during primal play. Some feel aroused by their partner’s sweat or how their vagina smells, while others get sexual feelings by the smell of the hair or skin.

5. Struggle To Gain Control/Dominance

Since this is still BDSM, there’s power exchange involved as you and your partner struggle to gain dominance over each other. It’s normal to “fight,” but that doesn’t mean primals should spank so hard it leaves both of you bruised. Unless that’s what you agree upon beforehand, of course.

6. Could Involve A Chase

Primal sex is so much fun because you’re acting as wild as an animal, and nobody will care at all. Thus, it’s normal to chase each other around the house or room before trapping your prey in a corner or pinning them on the ground. It adds thrill to your role-playing!

A male wolf chasing a female wolf

7. Takedown

Takedown is when the Hunter overpowers their prey, forcing a submission. Unlike in a typical BDSM scene, where the submissive partner takes a passive role, the primal Sub does not give up easily.

Instead, they put up a fight throughout the interaction until the Hunter’s might and tact become too much. Picture what happens in the wild—a cheetah corners a gazelle after a long, adrenaline-packed run, and the Hunter overpowers them after unfruitful attempts to get away.

Of course, the entire interaction is consensual, and the Hunter will always bring ‘their kill’ home in one piece. It’s all about the mind fuck: pursuing your prey and highlighting your dominance like animals do in the wild.

 


Primal Play Roles

To make your primal lifestyle more exciting and hassle-free, you should decide on the role you want to play. This way, you’ll be properly guided on how you would act throughout your sexual activity.

Primal Dom/Hunter/Predator

The dominant partner is the Predator, sometimes known as Primal Dom or Hunter. This person loves running after and consuming their prey. Just like in the wild, they exude dominance.

Primal Sub/Prey/Mate

The Primal Sub/Submissive is also referred to as the Prey or Mate. The opposite of a Primal Dom, they love being chased, acting bratty, and being consumed by the Predator. Meanwhile, Mate is used to labeling someone the Predator is fond of and is willing to have intercourse with that individual.

Other terminologies used in BDSM Primal play include:

  • Someone with whom you’re close and share an intimate connection, sometimes more than just sex.
  • A group of Primal play enthusiasts.
  • The dominant prime figure in a pack.

Note: You must understand the hierarchy if you don’t fancy being a lone wolf and want to join a pack. Like in the wild, every pack has a ladder of command with the Alpha at the helm. Usually, members must challenge the present Alpha to get to the top, mainly through wrestling. Interested Doms must use their might and tact to climb the ladder, overcoming all the set challenges.

 


Role-play Scenarios

So what kind of kink scenarios do you expect in a primal play? Well, your imagination is the limit, and you can be as creative as you want and get inspiration from animals. Here are some thrilling scenarios you’ll surely enjoy:

Primal vs. Non-Primal

How can you tell if someone has primal instincts? Typically, they are sexually triggered by simple acts like wrestling, scratching, clawing, hair grabbing, or even scent. If your partner gets triggered by this, they may have a primal kink. So, what happens when one partner is non-primal?

Well, the primal play doesn’t have to stop because your partner is non-primal. After all, suppressing the primal instincts only feeds into the inner animal. So, have an honest discussion to gain their trust and approval. Discuss safe words or signals the non-primal partner can use when the primal behavior becomes ‘too much.’

Basically, the non-primal partner allows them to enjoy their animalistic fetish while still keeping them on a leash.

Primal Dom vs. Primal Sub

This role is ideal for couples who want to give it a try. One plays the Primal Dom’s role and does all the chasing, sniffing, and clawing, while the partner is the Primal Sub, who loves being chased, overwhelmed, and dominated by the Predator.

In an ideal scene, the Primal Dom initiates foreplay by either smelling the Primal Sub’s body, pulling their hair, or biting a part of the body – you know, like how tigers bite the neck skin. The Sub sometimes takes off, triggering the Dom to chase and corner them. And even then, the struggle continues until the Hunter forces a submission, and the prey gives in. The Primal Dom can now enjoy their prize.

Primal Dom vs. Primal Dom

Did you know that both of you can play Predators? This scenario is for couples who both possess Alpha personalities. Unlike in normal dom-sub relationships, where the power-play dynamics flow in one direction, in Alpha-Alpha relationships, power and dominance constantly move back and forth.

It starts with one Alpha charging the other. Whether through aggressive sniffing, scratching, or biting, the other Alpha responds in equal measure, making the experience a never-ending struggle to regain dominance. Throughout foreplay and sex, you maintain the intensity, leading to supercharged sexual energy and, ultimately, a powerful climax. Rarely does one Primal Dom will overpower the other, causing them to submit.

 


Where Can I Find a Primal Play Partner?

Unfortunately, some people don’t have open-minded partners regarding sex, especially in primal play. You have nothing to worry about because many individuals are into this kind of sex play while others are just as curious as you.

One of the best places to look for a primal partner is Fetlife. It’s a fun social networking site specifically for the BDSM community. It describes itself as somewhat like Facebook, only sexier, hotter, and strictly for adult kinksters.

Another option is Adultfriendfinder, one of the largest online dating sites. Here, you can look for an adult “friend,” singles, and any gender who is interested in hooking up and having casual sex.

 


Step By Step Guide

So you’ve  decided to give primal play a try. This guide provides you with everything you need to know to get started. After all, we want you to gain the ultimate satisfaction from this one-of-a-kind sex play, so here goes.

We have compiled our experiences into some easy-to-follow steps. Please remember that these steps worked for us, and you may need to modify them to suit your exact situation.

Note: BDSM/Bondage are advanced sex acts, and you need to take great care when doing them. Any action you take upon the information on this website is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages. Learn more.

1. Open Communication

First and foremost, primal play is an advanced sex act that requires 100% consent from all involved parties. Not only in the beginning, but the master needs to continuously check in to make sure they are ok at all times. Also, boundaries and limits should be discussed, especially for the pain part.

Trust and communication are essential, anything else is abuse and manipulation, and that’s not tolerated!

2. Safety

Safety is especially important for primal play because of its often intense and physical nature. Always keep a first aid kit nearby for injuries, and ensure the play area is free from hazards that could cause harm. Aftercare is important, focusing on physical and emotional needs to help both partners transition back to their everyday selves, reinforcing the bond and care between them.

3. Do Your Research

It won’t hurt to know more about play primal, even if you’ve been doing it for a while. You can start learning what it is and how you do it.

Read articles, ask questions on sites like Quora and Reddit, and watch porn videos. Eventually, you can get ideas from other couples who are also into rough sex.

4. Set Boundaries

Your partner may hesitate about trying, especially if it’s their first time. By defining rules, you can make them feel secure and comfortable.

You can discuss what each of you can and can’t do. Setting your safe words can also help. In our case, we use “red” for a stop and “yellow” for a pause or slow down. Having mutual respect and trust will make your primal submission fun and gratifying.

5. Get Into The Right Mindset

Don’t rush into primal play. First, you must possess the right state of mind. Please make sure you and your partner are both ready for it. Don’t do it if you feel just a bit uncertain or afraid. Give it time.

6. Pick A Setting

Next is to find your ideal location. You can have it indoors or outdoors. However, we think the best way to do so is on the floor. The floor will make you feel in the mood for it. Just think about how animals do it on the ground.

7. Start Slow

Take it one step at a time. You can start with one role scene, then build more as you get comfortable. As mentioned earlier, you have to let your instincts guide you. If you want to resemble a lion, make it known to your partner so they know what to expect. You can expand your role play once you get the hang of things.

Have fun!

Rachel

Rachel Sommer, Ph.D.
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