Living in our modern world, we must remember to pay bills, do our taxes, and be civil. Even the basics of being a functional human can feel overwhelming. We are taught to respond to most threats by writing a well-worded email or sharing a snarky comment. Many of us are aching for an escape, a way to shut off what we feel we “should” do and follow our body’s instincts. Exploring a primal fetish or desire involves just that.
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What is a primal state of mind?
A primal state of mind involves letting go of all societal demands and connecting to our animalistic side. As one primal enthusiast shared on Reddit:
“Primal (state of mind) is about being fully present in the moment. Not worrying about the future or thinking about the past. Being free of human cares. Not thinking about money or buying things or politics, at least for a while.”
On a most basic level, to continue the human race, all we need is food, self-protection, and procreation. Social media, clothing, and wealth are all fancy ways to determine the power we used to figure out by rolling around in the mud and seeing who comes up on top. Although we pretend to be too sophisticated to continue to have this animalistic nature, it’s within all of us.
We have the same primal instincts that animals do. It’s just that the human brain continues to develop through the frontal lobe, which is responsible for critical thinking, future-oriented thoughts, and other complexities that make our modern world possible. Those into a primal dynamic want to let go of the newer brain and get in touch with their simple old-school brain.
What is Primal Fetish?
Primal play/fetish often includes a lot of biting, scratching, growling, hair-pulling, and grunting. There is also often power play involved – where the more physically powerful person may animalistically take their desired partner. Indeed, many folks who explore this dynamic use the terminology of prey and predators, where the predators hunt the prey.
One predator on Reddit explains:
“For me, it’s providing proof of physical dominance and drive. The thrill and reward of proving it. My girls know I’m faster, stronger, and dangerous, but they only know as much as their experience in the watered-down world allows.”
A prey on Reddit agrees, sharing:
“I love being chased down by a powerful, terrifying partner within dark woods, hunting me like a feral beast that will eventually catch me and corner me, and just when I think they’re about to hurt me, they firmly plant an open palm on my chest to pin me against a tree as they start to strip my clothes.”
Is having primal urges a fetish?
Although some iterations of a primal desire can fit more neatly into the fetish category than others, for the most part, a primal instinct would be better defined as a state of mind. Fetishes often involve an enduring fascination with a particular body part, body action, or object. A primal desire itself wouldn’t fit this category; however, folks who have always been interested in dressing up like a pet (as in pet play) may have a fetish, depending on the person’s specific experiences.
How to Explore Primal Play
Discuss The Fantasy First
What draws you to exploring a primal dynamic? Do you want your partner to desire you so badly that they can’t help but have you? Do you want to connect with your voice more during sex? Or do you want to role-play being an ape who is head of the tribe and impregnates all of the females in the group? A primal kink can involve so many different iterations!
Please discuss with your partner which part of the dynamic they are most interested in, and note where you are aligned and where preferences may be different.
Create a Safeword and Discuss Specifics
It’s best to discuss any boundaries before beginning a scene. For example, does one partner not enjoy biting? Does another partner prefer receiving verbal consent before penetration? It’s essential to feel safe before beginning a scene, so this discussion beforehand is necessary for both partners to sink into their characters without worry. You should also create a safeword, so it is easy to stop the scene for any reason.
Take it Slow
It’s hard to shift from scrolling through Twitter to getting in touch with our primal side. However, there are small ways to explore this dynamic – you don’t have to be crawling on the floor yelping like an ape on your first time trying it out.
- A small start can be to play with sounds – try to turn off your noise filter and see what sounds come out of you during sex.
- You can also discover more animalistic sexual positions. Perhaps try having standing sex or sex where a partner is bent over something.
- Also, having sex outside can be a great way to enjoy animalistic energy.
- For some, primal play can be as simple as enjoying outdoor sex while making louder noises than usual.
As one Reddit user shares:
“It’s about chasing sensual sensations, especially in nature… rolling naked in long grass or laying on a warm rock.”
Follow your instincts
During sex, we often get in our heads regarding how to best please our partner, how our body looks, and if the encounter is going well. When exploring primal play, put all those thoughts aside and connect with your body.
Use your entire body to control or dominate your partner or to show them you want them. You may surprise yourself with what you can do if you turn off that inner dialogue (However, keep it on enough to ensure your partner is having as much fun as you are!)
Play Safe
With this type of play, it’s essential to remove your glasses, jewelry, rings, and earrings that may get in the way if you’re wrestling or being rough with each other. Also, see if you can clear out a play area with nothing breakable around so you can fully embrace the moment without your frontal lobe reminding you that that vase beside you would cost a lot to replace.
Overlapping kinks
There are a ton of different dynamics/kinks that can involve primal play.
- Pet play involves role-playing, where one or more participants act as an animal. This dynamic is more defined than in primal play, as a specific animal/dynamic is often selected. However, a primal dynamic is often explored in this context, as the pet unsurprisingly exudes primal and animalistic instincts.
- Pregnancy/breeding fetish involves arousal relating to procreation and pregnancy. As our primal urges involve shelter, eating, and procreation – it’s not uncommon for folks who are into primal play to also have a breeding fetish and play with the idea of impregnating a partner, usually the prey. You can read more about breeding kink and pregnancy kink in these two articles.
- BDSM – Power play is a pervasive component of primal play. Indeed, a primal dynamic often involves play fighting, physical impact, and a power struggle. Even the words predator and prey are very dom/sub language. You can read more about primal BDSM in this guide.
- Consensual nonconsent – Rape is even more normalized in the animal kingdom than in humans. As a result, ethically exploring non-consent is common among those who enjoy primal play.
You can read more about other common fetishes in this article.
Primal play is a different beast for everybody that explores it. As long as you check in with your partner along the way and work to get in touch with your instincts – primal play can be a fantastic way to have more stimulating and thrilling sex.
Happy Exploring 🙂
Niki
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