I remember the first time I went to a sex party and got licked in a room full of people. Hearing the sounds of other lovers’ moans, creating a rhythm with my partner’s tongue, was magical. But more than that, a lot of the sexual arousal came from knowing I was doing something naughty.
Something Taboo. Something kinky.
It’s very common for folks to fantasize about a vast array of sexual scenarios. A fetish or kink is simply the word that we use to describe being aroused by a form of non-normative sex.
But how do we define normative sex? Missionary sex with the lights out?
Researchers find that many sexual desires previously thought taboo are more common than we thought. Most folks have fantasized about something that would broadly be defined as a fetish, and many folks are taking it a step further and acting on their sexual desire.
Let’s check what the research says about the most common sexual fetishes and kinks.
Table Of Contents
1. Group Sex
Researcher Justin Lehmiller asked 4,175 Americans what their favorite types of kinks and sexual fantasies were, and the most common fetish was group sex. He found that a shocking 89% of participants had a threesome fantasy at least once!
Group sex can include being aroused by yourself or your partner involved in a gang bang, having sex in a location where other folks are having sex, virtual sex with a third party, or engaging in a threesome, foursome, or a full-blown orgy.
There’s something taboo about engaging in sex with more than one person. Perhaps we think of sex as inherently private and only involving two people.
However, folks in Lehmiller’s study expressed that the desire for group sex came from feeling sexually irresistible and sexually competent. Often, participants described the fantasy as being the center of attention and having multiple people wanting or pleasuring them, making them feel powerful and sexy.
2. Foot Fetish
A foot fetish means arousal by feet (duh) and a desire to worship feet. It can manifest through kissing, massaging, and licking someone’s feet. There is a ton of porn content showing feet, and it’s one of the most common body parts that folks fetishize (foot fetish is one of the most common in men).
But why? There’s an association between being turned on by feet and being aroused by submission more generally. There’s something submissive about worshiping a foot, so it makes sense the arousal would generalize beyond that one dynamic.
But why feet? There’s an interesting biological reason folks tend to be aroused by feet. Our brain has a sensory map of all of the body parts. In this map, the foot is adjacent to the genitals. Sometimes, there’s a slight misfiring of neurons, so it’s common for feet to become eroticized.
3. Domination and Submission
Domination and submission are broad terms that encompass playing with power in different ways. Research shows that 47% of women and 60% of men are into the idea of being dominant. Enjoying the idea of submission, on the other hand, was common among 65% of women and 53% of men, making it one of the most common female fetishes.
Physical contact, such as engaging in impact play, is one way to engage in domination and submission. In this scenario, one person exerts physical power over the other consensually. A similar dynamic can be created through bondage when one partner ties up the other partner.
You can also create this same dynamic in several non-physical environments. For example, if you call your partner and tell them to take off their pants and start rubbing their penis until they are on the brink of orgasm, that’s also domination.
With this dynamic, you need to discuss the specifics beforehand, and mechanisms need to be set in place to ensure that all parties enjoy the interaction.
You can learn more about this topic in our submissive guides (submissive wife and submissive husband)
4. Impact Play
Impact play is among the many ways folks experiment with domination and submission. It can include several types of consensual contact, including spanking sex toys, flogging, paddling, candle wax, or bondage. In addition, it can involve anything from a light slap to playing with extreme force.
For many folks, the desire to be submissive comes from feeling both safe and out of control simultaneously. Inflicting physical pain and arousal are both connected to dopamine and opioid systems in the brain, so it makes sense that some folks would experience arousal from experiencing controlled force.
With impact play, it’s essential to have clear boundaries. Although the person with the whip may seem to be in control, the submissive partner creates a sex scene that is arousing and safe for them.
5. Cuckolding
Have you ever thought it would be sexy to have your partner have sex with someone else? Perhaps someone who can satisfy them in a way that you could not? Maybe there is an element of voyeurism to the relationship as well, where you would want to watch them have sex. Perhaps your partner would even humiliate you while having sex with this person?
If this sounds like a good time, it sounds like you might enjoy the cuckolding lifestyle.
The type of relationship we hear about most in cuckolding, which is extremely common in porn, is a heterosexual male who enjoys sharing his partner or wife. A component of this dynamic is often having their wife humiliate them with dirty talk, telling them how small their penis is and how much better the newer partner is at pleasing them.
Deriving sexual pleasure from humiliation play is a type of masochism (the M in BDSM) and it’s relatively common. Although the most frequent dynamic we hear about in cuckolding is very straight and gendered, being aroused by cuckolding is also common in women (Cuckquean) and queer folks.
6. Age Play/Age Fetish
There’s a considerable difference between deriving pleasure from sexually engaging with young people who can’t consent and age role play when all parties are of legal age to consent. The first is illegal, whereas the second can be a fun fetish to explore in your sex life.
The most literal version of age play is calling your partner “baby” or “daddy” in situations where I genuinely hope they are neither your father nor a baby. But, of course, if the concept of being an adult baby turns you on, folks often put on diapers and act like a baby.
An age fetish could also involve acting older or being aroused by age. One typical example is the “MILF” – mother you want to fuck. Being into MILF’s is HUGE in porn, and it was the fifth most common search in 2019 on PornHub (more than anal sex!)
7. Urine Play
A pee fetish is being aroused by tasting, smelling, and interacting with urine, and people often explore it during sexual play. One of the most common forms of this is a golden shower, which involves peeing on a partner. It can happen either in or out of an actual shower.
For many folks who enjoy golden showers, there’s a component of domination and submission in the sex acts. There can be something degrading about being peed on or having someone tell you when and how to pee.
I have a couple of friends who are into piss play, and one said that for him, the arousal is in having their partners feel vulnerable enough to engage in such private sexual activities for them to see.
8. Orgasm Control/Edging
Edge play is getting turned on by getting right to the brink of orgasm without letting yourself go over. Orgasm control is physiologically similar, but it’s often part of a BDSM scene where one partner controls another’s orgasms.
The dominant partner can control their partner’s orgasm with their words by giving them stimulation to the brink of orgasm without going over. They can also engage in bondage-induced denial, ruin an orgasm, ball torture (CBT), or, in some cases, wear a chastity device that prevents orgasm.
Orgasm control can be an arousing way to play with power and control, and it’s sexy when you can’t control your orgasm. Also, physiologically, getting right to the edge without going over can be arousing. Then, when your partner finally lets you release after the intense build, it feels fantastic.
9. Smoke Fetish
A smoke fetish is also relatively common but not widely discussed due to the many health issues related to tobacco and nicotine addictions. Most folks with this type of fetish are turned on by watching other people smoke cigarettes, cigars, or hookahs, and sometimes they even get turned on by seeing themselves smoking.
In addition, they may fantasize about smoking individuals and have a desire to watch smoking people in various situations. A smoking fetishist may also want to include smoking in their sex life. One such example is having their sexual partner smoke during intercourse.
10. Exhibitionism
Exhibitionist fetish is a very common kink. For example, Justin Lehmiller found that 81% of men and 84% of women are aroused by the idea of having sex in public. Another study found similar results, with 82% of people, independent of gender, having fantasized about having sex in public places.
Public sex may be exciting for many reasons. But for many, the sexual excitement is primarily due to the possibility of being caught in the act.
11. Cast Fetish
A Cast fetish is experiencing intense sexual attraction to people in orthopedic casts. Cast fetishists are usually aroused by feeling a plastic cast on their limbs or seeing other people with a cast. Most folks are not turned on by the injury itself but by the immobility part.
Cast fetishism is relatively common, and there’s an active Internet kink community sharing photos and videos of sexy people in a cast. There are also many cast porn videos on sites like Pornhub, but many like to watch non-explicit Youtube videos featuring people with casts.
12. Tickle Fetish
A person with Knismolagnia (AKA tickle fetish) experiences sexual arousal from tickling other people, being tickled, or watching other individuals get tickled. Tickling can be incorporated into other sexual activities or foreplay, or you can use it as a stand-alone sex act.
If you google tickle porn, there are currently 41M links. That’s a lot of folks turned on by tickling! There are also specific sites to share images and find dates within the tickle fetish community!
Final Words
This article is not an exhaustive kinks list of the most common fetishes for women and men. So don’t fret if I did not mention the particular dynamic that gets you going. You can read my other article to learn about less common types of fetishes.
Remember, whatever sexual activity turns you on, assuming it involves consenting adults, is A-OK. So, spend time exploring different sexual kinks and fetishes, and you may be surprised by what sexual fantasies you find enjoyable.
If you are into something kinky, learn how to talk to your partner about a fetish. I also have a fetish guide you can check out here to learn about this topic more broadly.
Niki
Linkedin Profile | Website | Instagram
- An Exploration Of Panty Fetish And The Community - April 18, 2024
- An Exploration Of Armpit Fetish And The Community - April 16, 2024
- An Exploration Of Breeding Fetish And The Community - April 13, 2024
