8 Best Pegging Positions For Beginners!

Pegging is one of the most misunderstood sexual acts, and it has been the butt of dirty jokes for decades. It’s not for everyone, of course — nothing is! — but more and more folks are happily exploring this kind of sex play.

Pegging can be very exciting both mentally and physically. Both partners can enjoy reversing the relationship dynamics when the partner who is usually on the receiving end penetrates the partner who is usually the giver. This can open up new lines of communication and understanding as well as sexual pleasure. And as far as sexual pleasure goes, many people with prostates report that prostate stimulation, and especially prostate orgasms, is intensely pleasurable.

“But That’s Gay!
”

First of all, happy Pride month! “Gay” is not an insult and there’s nothing wrong with being gay.

That said, anal penetration and prostate stimulation is about anatomy and not orientation. People with prostates often enjoy prostate stimulation. If you are a person with a prostate who identifies as male and you want anal penetration from a woman, then you are likely straight (or bisexual). If you are a person with a prostate who identifies as male and you want anal penetration from a male, then you are likely gay (or bisexual).

Hope this helps!

1. Doggy-Style: Best Position Overall

Doggy-style is great for anal sex because the position opens up the receiving partner’s hips, which makes penetration easier and more comfortable. The receiving partner’s penis is fairly accessible in this position, so either partner can offer additional stimulation.

It also works well when the penetrating partner is smaller/shorter than the receiving partner, and that is often the case with this kind of role reversal. If you’re also intrigued by exploring D/s dynamics with the receiving partner as the sub, doggy-style plays into that very nicely.

What We’re Doing

1. The receiving partner positions themself on hands and knees on a stable, flat surface with legs spread. They can put a firm cushion under their hips for support or a better angle.
2. The penetrating partner (wearing a harness and strap-on dildo) kneels behind the receiving partner, between their legs.
3. Either partner applies lube to the receiving partner’s body and to the dildo. The penetrating partner uses a well-lubed finger to explore the receiving partner’s anus and then uses their hand to gently insert the dildo when the receiving partner is ready.

2. Lying Doggy (Prone): For Deep Penetration

This position is similar to the classic doggy-style described above. It’s great for deep penetration and prostate stimulation.

However, just like with the classic doggy-style, the penetrating partner won’t be able to see much of the receiving partner’s face. This makes it much more difficult to pick up on non-verbal cues, so both partners will need to consciously verbalize how they are feeling throughout.

What We’re Doing

1. The receiving partner lies face-down on the bed with legs slightly spread. They can put a pillow under their cheek to make breathing easier and a firm cushion under their hips for support or a better angle.
2. The penetrating partner (wearing a harness and strap-on dildo) straddles, squats, or kneels over the receiving partner, with the penetrating partner’s legs on either side of the receiving partner.
3. Either partner applies lube to the receiving partner’s body and to the dildo. The penetrating partner uses a well-lubed finger to explore the receiving partner’s anus and then uses their hand to gently insert the dildo when the receiving partner is ready.

3. Cowboy: Great for Novelty

While this position is still very much a role reversal, there is some familiarity because the receiving partner (who is otherwise usually the penetrating partner) still gets to control the pace of penetration. However, it’s different enough that it will feel very novel and novelty is a strong predictor of arousal, at least in rats.

This position may be somewhat challenging if the receiving partner is significantly larger in size than the penetrating partner, but the penetrating partner can kneel and support some of their body weight with their thighs.

What We’re Doing

1. The penetrating partner (wearing a harness and strap-on dildo) lies on their back with legs together and knees straight or slightly bent.
2. The receiving partner straddles, kneels, or squats over the penetrating partner with their bottom aligned over the dildo.
3. Either partner applies lube to the receiving partner’s body and to the dildo. The penetrating partner uses a well-lubed finger to explore the receiving partner’s anus. The receiving partner lowers themself down onto the dildo when they are ready.

4. Reverse Cowboy: Riding With a Twist

The reverse cowboy has many of the same benefits and drawbacks as the classic cowboy position, but one major advantage is that the receiving partner has easy access to stimulate their penis. The corresponding disadvantage is that the penetrating partner can’t see or read the receiving partner’s facial expressions and nonverbal cues.

Some testers also report that it is easier for the receiving partner to support their own body weight, which matters if they are much heavier than the penetrating partner.

What We’re Doing

1. The penetrating partner (wearing a harness and strap-on dildo) lies on their back with legs together and knees straight or slightly bent.
2. The receiving partner straddles, kneels, or squats over the penetrating partner, facing away from them, with their bottom aligned over the dildo.
3. Either partner applies lube to the receiving partner’s body and to the dildo. The penetrating partner uses a well-lubed finger to explore the receiving partner’s anus. The receiving partner lowers themself down onto the dildo when they are ready.

5. Missionary: Most Beginner-Friendly

Missionary is a familiar, intimate, comforting position for many of us, so it may be a good one to try if you are new to pegging and maybe a little apprehensive. It feels safe and it lets partners watch each other, which is both exciting and helpful if you’re trying to gauge their level of comfort.

What We’re Doing

1. The receiving partner lies on their back with their legs spread and knees slightly bent. They can use a firm cushion under their hips to help open up their bottom.
2. The penetrating partner (wearing a harness and strap-on dildo) kneels in front of the receiving partner, between their legs. The receiving partner arches their back.
3. Either partner applies lube to the receiving partner’s body and to the dildo. The penetrating partner uses a well-lubed finger to explore the receiving partner’s anus and then uses their hand to gently insert the dildo when the receiving partner is ready.

6. Spooning: Most Intimate

Spooning is another cuddly, connected position that is a good choice when you’re wanting to emphasize the intimacy of the receiving partner opening up in a whole new way.

There’s a lot of skin-to-skin contact, a chance for the penetrating partner to whisper in the receiving partner’s ear, and plenty of bonding. Also, the receiving partner can easily stimulate their penis for additional sensation. This is a winner!

What We’re Doing

1. The receiving partner lies on their side in a half-moon position with their knees bent.
2. The penetrating partner (wearing a harness and strap-on dildo) lies behind the receiving partner. The receiving partner arches their back and lifts their top leg for easier access.
3. Either partner applies lube to the receiving partner’s body and to the dildo. The penetrating partner uses a well-lubed finger to explore the receiving partner’s anus and then uses their hand to gently insert the dildo when the receiving partner is ready.

7. Standing: For the More Experienced

Standing sex is exciting but can be physically challenging, especially if there is a significant height difference between partners. The shorter partner can wear high heels if they are comfortable in them. A less sexy but more stable option is a non-slip riser (often marketed towards senior citizens), which is like a stepstool but usually only 3”-6” tall.

Standing sex in a steamy shower (make sure that you have a non-slip mat) can help relax the receiving partner’s body and make penetration easier. You’ll still need lube in the shower.

What We’re Doing

1. The receiving partner stands straight with legs slightly spread. They can lean against a wall or another stable surface for support.
2. The penetrating partner (wearing a harness and strap-on dildo) stands behind the receiving partner. The receiving partner arches their back.
3. Either partner applies lube to the receiving partner’s body and to the dildo. The penetrating partner uses a well-lubed finger to explore the receiving partner’s anus and then uses their hand to gently insert the dildo when the receiving partner is ready.

8. Lap Dance: Best for Role-Playing

This sitting sex position is probably the ultimate role reversal: not only does the partner with a penis get to experience penetration but they also get to dance and grind for the penetrating partner.

This makes for very exciting sex, of course, but it can also lead to a deeper understanding of gender and relationship dynamics (super deep, almost as deep as doggy-style anal sex!).

What We’re Doing

1. The penetrating partner (wearing a harness and strap-on dildo) sits in a chair or at the edge of the bed.
2. The receiving partner straddles the penetrating partner’s lap (can be facing each other or facing away) and dances and grinds.
3. Either partner applies lube to the receiving partner’s body and to the dildo. The penetrating partner uses a well-lubed finger to explore the receiving partner’s anus, and the receiving partner gently lowers themself onto the dildo when they are ready.

Safety and Preparation

Enthusiastic consent is essential for any kind of sex play, but it needs even more attention when we’re exploring acts that may be new to us and come with different dynamics; a person who has never been the penetrating partner before may be unfamiliar with reading cues.

Sit down together, outside of the bedroom and with your clothes on, and discuss expectations and boundaries. Also set up a safe word, which means that if that word comes into play, all action stops while you re-evaluate the situation. Choose a word that is unmistakable but also unlikely to be used organically (“watermelon” and “banjo” are good examples).

Choose a strap-on toy that the receiving partner can accommodate comfortably. This may take some testing and training. The receiving partner can experiment with butt plugs of varying sizes to determine what they are comfortable with. They can also try out the strap-on well in advance of the play session to ensure that it will be workable.

Any sex toy that will be used internally should be made of body-friendly materials and waterproof so that it can be thoroughly cleaned and sanitized. We recommend silicone, stainless steel, or borosilicate glass for the dildo. The harness is not used internally so the penetrating partner’s preferences are what matter.

You will also need plenty of lube. Water-based lube is the default because it is compatible with all sex toys and condoms. It is also usually very body-friendly, but it does tend to dry out fairly quickly so you will need to be prepared to reapply frequently. Oil-based lubes or body-safe food-grade oils are less likely to dry out, but cannot be used with latex condoms or some sex toys (check the user manual). Silicone lubes are lovely and slippery, but are not compatible with silicone sex toys. Whatever lube you choose, we suggest doing a patch test on the penetrating partner’s inner thigh or the inside of their arm.

Strap on and let the games begin!

Maggie

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Maggie Hart

Maggie Hart has written about sexual well-being and sexuality in society for quite a few years now. She is active in communities that celebrate sex for older adults.

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