If you’ve ever been curious about vaginal fisting and want to expand your sexual repertoire, you’ve landed in the perfect place! While it may seem taboo or a tad extreme to some, it can be a fulfilling and pleasurable experience for those who are interested in exploring it.
To make sure we give you the most comprehensive fisting guide, we asked the expert opinion of our clinical sexologist and sex toy tester, Rachel Sommer. If you’re ready to receive her knowledge bombs then let’s get straight into it!
Table Of Contents
What Is Vaginal Fisting?
Also known as handballing or extreme fingering, fisting is the act of inserting your entire hand into your partner’s vagina. The fisting partner penetrates the vaginal opening using their fingers, one after the other until the whole fist is inside the vagina.
Like any other ‘extreme’ sexual experience, vaginal fisting requires a great deal of patience, trust, and lubrication. Your partner might not be as enthusiastic at first, and you’ll have to give them some time.
There also must be a significant level of physical and emotional trust between partners. Have an honest conversation and clarify it’s okay to pause, embark, or stop altogether if it becomes uncomfortable or painful.
Do Women Like Vaginal Fisting?
While the experience might sound intense and overly hardcore, fisting can feel really good when done right, according to Refinery’s Dr. Powell. The incredible feeling of fullness can trigger top-level physical and emotional pleasure.
Some women also enjoy the emotional excitement of overcoming an intense experience. Lastly, fisting can also be enjoyable for the fisting partner, especially if they enjoy taking control and being a source of their partner’s sense of fullness.
Other reasons include:
- Many couples want to test their limits. How far are they willing to go to satisfy their lust? Tim and I love experimenting, so it wasn’t surprising that we tried it. We challenged ourselves to do it, and we’re glad we did.
- Many also consider it taboo. Not everybody is open to trying something as daring as fisting. The fact you and your partner did it will give you satisfaction and a feeling of superiority over those who haven’t tried it yet.
- It can also develop intimacy between couples. It requires patience and hot foreplay. You can whisper sexy words in your partner’s ear as you slowly put your hand inside her or rub all the right spots to keep her horny. All these and more make fisting a very intimate act.
What Does It Feel Like?
For me, vaginal fisting feels like a more glorious form of G-spot stimulation. At first, the anticipation of ‘swallowing’ my fiancé’s fist builds up in my mind, making it more mental than physical. However, once his small finger makes its way, it shifts to physical, giving out extreme stretching vibes.
Once inside, Jessica’s hand movements inspire an all-encompassing feeling that relaxes my mind while treating my G-spot to a come-hither experience. In addition, the cohesion between my vagina and his fingers during entry is very intimate.
Jessica describes fisting as an emotional rollercoaster:
“Looking at her wide face and eyes as I penetrate her with my arm is more of an emotional experience than a physical one,” she starts. Of course, the first few times weren’t as pleasant, and I know she didn’t enjoy it either, but she seems to be milking it now. “Being able to control her pleasure and feeling her vagina stretch to accommodate all my fingers is somewhat hot. Most importantly, seeing her eyes light up makes the entire experience fulfilling and validating for me as well.”
Can I Orgasm from Fisting?
Yes. You can orgasm from fisting. However, like with personalities, everyone’s different, and what works for me won’t necessarily do it for you. If vaginal penetration and G-spot stimulation are what it takes to orgasm, fisting will help you with that. Otherwise, you might have to incorporate clitoral massage and other forms of sexual play to achieve an orgasm.
Do I Need A Partner For Doing This?
Not really. You don’t necessarily need a partner to enjoy fisting. I mean, you only need a fist, the vagina, and lots of lube. Right? I know people who want short fisting episodes between masturbation sessions, and while the hand positioning makes it a bit tricky and energy-consuming, it’s still possible.
So, why do most people associate fisting with couples or partnered sex? Well, the experience requires a lot of body and arm flexibility, which makes it ideal to have your partner do it.
In addition, this sex act can be intense, especially for first-timers, and you want your fist’s angle and position to be as flexible as possible. When doing it alone, it can be hard to angle your fist correctly, but with a partner, they can easily bend their arm to minimize the discomfort and pain.
Most importantly, fisting with a partner increases excitement and pleasure, making the experience more fun and adventurous than doing it solo.
10 Steps For A Successful Fisting Experience
We all have to start somewhere, so whether you’re a newbie or experienced at fisting, our step-by-step beginner’s guide will help you on your journey.
Please note that these steps worked for us, and you may need to modify them to suit your exact situation. Also, fisting takes time, so it’s ok if you don’t get it right on the first try.
Note: Fisting is an advanced sex act, and you need to take great care when doing it. Any action you take upon the information on this website is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be liable for any losses, injuries, and damages. Learn more.
1. Have An Honest Conversation
Before deciding anything about fisting, ensure your partner is on the same wavelength. This is an advanced sex act that requires 100% consent from all involved parties. Not only in the beginning, but the master needs to continuously check in with their sub to make sure she’s ok at all times.
Start with cultivating a culture of open communication. This way, your partner trusts you enough to point out something they like or don’t like during fisting. Remember, there must be a great deal of physical and emotional trust for the experience to be successful.
Also, discuss the rules and boundaries at this stage. Agree that it’s okay to take breaks between play and only resume when your partner feels okay to carry on. After all, it’s a process; if she feels like she can’t do it anymore, call it a day and go again another day.
Trust and communication are essential, anything else is abuse and manipulation, and that’s not tolerated!
2. Do Your Research
It won’t hurt you to know more about fisting, even if you’ve been doing it for a while. You can start by learning what it is and how you do it.
Pro Tip: Educating yourself helps debunk myths around the topic and gives you a better understanding of what to do.
For instance, most people have been blinded by fisting porn, which looks flawless and admirable. Well, I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but porn isn’t real sex. The actors have spent hours preparing, plus often the scenes are edited to appear longer than they actually are.
Set your own expectations!
3. Try Yourself With Sex Toys
We recommend you start your fisting journey with some specially designed sex toys. It will help you stretch your vagina and get used to the fullness sensation.
Jessica and I use fisting dildos, and they’re excellent. Meanwhile, if you’re into anal sex, you may consider a butt plug, regular dildos, or anal beads, especially during warm-up.
Note: If you’re using sex toys, you must clean them before and after use. Follow the cleaning and storing instructions that go with your toy to ensure they stay safe for use in your next fisting session. Good maintenance will also make them last longer. And use lube!
4. Schedule Aftercare
Schedule for aftercare and agree on your role after the sexual act. Fisting can be very intense, especially if you’re doing it for the first time, and dedicating time and energy to recovery is a great idea. In rare cases, fisting might result in muscle tears and soreness. So, ensure you take care of the body afterward and warm down properly.
Whether she wants a massage, cuddle, or a warm bath together, make sure you facilitate aftercare. After all, it’s the fister’s responsibility to help the fistee recover.
5. Gather Everything You’ll Need
Before your partner gets into position, ensure you have a good fisting lube within your arm’s reach.
The best lube for vaginal fisting is Water-based lube, especially if you’re using a toy or gloves because they don’t damage the material. A silicone-based lube works, too, but not with silicone toys. Never use a lubricant with numbing agents!
Pro Tip: Get a towel and lay it down to absorb the extra lube and simplify your after-cleaning experience.
Get your nails done. The last thing you want is pointy, dirty fingers in your partner’s vagina. Go in with short, rounded, and filed nails. Ensure you align all rough edges and strip off the nail polish. It will enhance your partner’s comfort and render the experience sanitary.
If you don’t want to cut your nails, you can use cotton pads to stuff the glove’s fingertips or, better yet, wrap the fingers with medical gauze.
Regardless of how keen you are, your fist might have microscopic cuts or sharp nail edges. For this reason, use a glove to alleviate potential abrasions and make the bottom more comfortable. Also, buy the right ones – if your partner has a latex allergy, go for non-latex material.
6. Foreplay
Getting all five fingers in your vagina can be challenging, especially if it’s your first fisting experience. The bottom’s body and mind must be in tune with the sexual act, making foreplay essential. The more the bottom is aroused and relaxed, the higher the chances of successful fisting.
Foreplay increases blood flow to the genitals, so the vulva swells, and the vagina lubricates itself. And while you must add lots of lube, self-lubrication enhances the bottom’s comfort and makes it more enjoyable.
So, start with passionate kissing, oral sex, massage, or cuddling – whatever relaxes and arouses your partner.
7. Go Slow
Even after you’ve dedicated enough time and energy to foreplay, you must always start slow.
Start by inserting one finger into your partner’s vagina while maintaining eye contact to see how your partner responds. Once she’s comfortable, add a second finger and carry on until all fingers are bundled in a duck-beak-like shape. (Your thumb should be on the opposite side of the other fingers.) You can see a visual demonstration in the image below.
Remember, most might not get past two or three fingers, especially if you’re new to the experience. The bottom should take the lead, advising you when to add an extra finger, pause, add more lube, or stop altogether.
With time, the vaginal muscles get used to the stretching, and you can slide the entire fist inside.
Pro Tip: You can use your knuckles to stimulate your partner’s G-spot and vaginal walls, and Sandra tells me it’s a fantastic feeling! You can also rotate your wrist or make tiny movements with your fingers.
8. Take The Fister Through It
Throughout the session, the bottom takes the lead. If something feels great, tell your partner, and if it’s hurtful, communicate the same. Use the aforementioned safe words and maintain an open line of communication at all times. This way, fisting can be enjoyable, safe, and rewarding for both partners.
9. Use A Good Position
A good position, especially for those trying it for the first time, is to lie on your back. It also helps to bring your knees up to your chest to provide the top with better access.
Once you get used to it, you can also practice with other sex positions as long as they’re comfortable for both of you. When fisting yourself, you can choose a comfortable position to insert your fingers in and out of your vagina.
10 Remove Slowly
Remove your hand slowly after you’re done. By now, your partner’s vagina is sore from all the fist action, and it’s sensitive, too, especially after orgasm. Do it slowly and gently to avoid hurting her or causing any discomfort on her part.
You can also try massaging the outside of her vagina with the other hand. If you have an adult toy, preferably a clitoral stimulator, the bottom can use it to distract her mind from what can be a painful experience.
Is Vaginal Fisting Safe?
- Sometimes, fisting can cause micro-tears in the vaginal tissues. Call your doctor if you notice spotting days after the session.
- Besides causing discomfort, vaginal muscle tears can increase the potential of getting STIs, especially if your partner has one.
- Air embolism. Vaginal fisting can cause an air embolism, which can be fatal, especially when the bottom is pregnant.
What Are The Best Positions
Most positions that work with fingering will work well with fisting. The best position for vaginal fisting includes:
- Lying on her back. Like the missionary position, but with the knees up to the chest. This position is the most comfortable for the bottom. Stretching the spine raises internal organs, resulting in less pressure on the vagina.
- The bottom on her side. Let the bottom lie on her side while resting the top leg on the partner’s shoulder for extra comfort. You can also slide a pillow under her hip for more elevation.
- With the partner on all fours, the pelvis is tilted, making penetration much more effortless and comfortable.
Vaginal vs. Anal Fisting?
Other than one happening in the vagina and the other in the anus, vaginal and ass fisting share a few differences and similarities. The main difference is the varying degree of ease between the two. Vaginal fisting is considerably more straightforward because the vaginal muscles naturally expand and retract depending on your arousal level.
Think about it. A vagina stretches enough to accommodate an infant’s head during birth, so what’s a fist going to do? Of course, not all women have a vaginal birth, but you understand the comparison.
On the other hand, both vaginal and anal fisting are advanced forms of sexual play, and beginners might find both challenging. They might cause pain, discomfort, and sometimes muscle tears that might take time to heal. So, research the topic, have an honest conversation about safety with your partner, and enjoy safe fisting.
Wrapping Up
Fisting is one of the most thrilling kinds of rough sex, and it’s sexually fulfilling for both the giver and the receiver. However, remember this is an advanced sex act, so always proceed cautiously.
Like with any form of sex, consent must be present. It’s so easy to get carried away; that’s why you also need the presence of my mind to ensure you’re not hurting your partner.
There’s nothing wrong with engaging in rough sex like fisting if you use the proper techniques. It’s a great way to satisfy your body’s carnal desires while building a more intimate relationship with your partner.
Have fun with our fist tips!
Rachel
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