Strap-ons are generally the first choice for women wanting to have penetrative sex with their partners. While they do the trick, they’re not the best option for everyone. If you want to increase intimacy with your partner while simultaneously getting rid of unnecessary straps and buckles; it’s time to bring out a strapless strapon. In this guide, we’ll be teaching readers everything they need to know about this unique toy so they can incorporate it for steamy penetrative partner play!
Table Of Contents
- A strapless strapon is a dildo that doesn’t require a harness to attach to the wearer but instead has a ‘pony’ that the penetrating partner inserts into their vagina.
- When choosing your strapless strapon, please pay attention to the type, materials, vibrations, sizes, sound levels, comfort, and extra features such as remote/app control.
- If you’re new to double strap-ons, we recommend using lots of lube and first using it solo. Please follow the manufacturer’s safety instructions, learn how the settings work, and try different positions.
What Is A Strapless Strapon?
A strapless strap-on is, simply put, a kind of dildo that doesn’t require a harness to attach to the wearer because it instead features an insertable ‘pony.’
How Does A Strapless Strapon Work?
The pony, a feature unique to strapless strap-ons, is a knob attached to one end of a dildo that can be inserted into the vagina and held in place by nothing other than the pelvic floor muscles.
On the other end is the shaft featuring a curved tip for easy insertion, and in the middle, pliable plastic that allows for the perfect angle between the giver and receiver.
Who Are They For?
Strapless strap-ons are the perfect option for anyone tired of fumbling with the straps and buckles of their strap-on harness.
The sensation of the pony inside the wearer can help both parties feel more connected with the sexual experience instead of the focus being on whoever is receiving it.
Although they were created mainly for lesbian couples, they’re also perfect for any trans or hetero couples interested in experimenting with pegging.
What To Think About When Buying A Product
The Type
Most strap-on dildos have more or less the same design: a pony with features that help it stay in place after being inserted into the vagina and a slightly curved shaft meant to stimulate all the right places for the receiver.
When it comes to some of the more unique characteristics of each toy, there are various options.
- Some models have a wider pony with an extra bulb to help the wearer clench the toy. Some were created to be more realistic, featuring a veiny shaft and zero vibe options.
- In contrast, others offer a more traditional non-phallic design and a wide array of tantalizing vibe options.
- If you’re somebody who lives for clitoral stimulation, try tracking down a toy that offers rabbit ears or raised bumps designed to provide maximum stimulation simultaneously for both the giver and receiver.
One model that we love is Lovehoney Desire Luxury. It has non-porous material, a tapered tip for easy insertion, a saddle horn suitable for G-spot stimulation, a remote control, and comfortable for both the vagina owner and the penetrating partner. You can read our review of it here.
Material
Many dildos that you can use with strap-on harnesses are created from PVC plastic, also known as ‘jelly rubber,’ and you’ll find many of the more phallic-looking strapless strap-ons made from the same material.
PVC plastic is a popular option for this toy style because it is flexible, providing a similar sensation during penetrative sex to an actual penis. It’s also significantly cheaper than silicone.
Splurging on a toy made from higher quality materials like ABS plastic or silicone is well worth the investment, though, as rubber jelly is a porous material that harbors bacteria and is also full of a chemical called phthalates, which are known endocrine disruptors. [1]
Settings
Strapless strap-ons are on the simpler side regarding settings, at least in comparison to many other sex toys.
The maximum number of setting options for these sex toys is different speeds and vibration patterns, but many realistic strapless dildos offer no vibe options. This simple design is perfect for anyone who wants something as close to the real deal as possible.
Size
The biggest advantage to ditching a traditional strap-on harness is the chance to avoid all those awkward straps, but that doesn’t mean that losing the harness doesn’t come with its disadvantages.
To avoid the frustration of having your toy slip out, especially during more vigorous love-making, you must find an anatomically designed toy that matches your unique physique.
Every pony has different characteristics that make it better suited for some vaginas than others. Some ponies are simple and thin, and others are made to be thicker or feature an additional nub, perfect for anyone needing additional grip.
In terms of shaft length, depending on the positions you want to use your toy in, a longer shaft length could be your advantage. But bigger isn’t always better, and often even a 5cm shaft in combination with a yummy vibration pattern is more than enough to please your partner.
Comfort
When looking for a strapless strap-on dildo that is comfortable for you and your partner, there are a couple of things to keep in mind.
The first is that bigger isn’t always better, and a common complaint of men and women on the receiving end is that the shaft is too wide, long, or stiff, making the experience slightly painful.
The next is it’s crucial to find a toy that offers the right level of stiffness through the hinging middle since not enough bend can result in this toy hitting all the wrong spots.
Sound Level
If your strapless strap-on is motor-free, then noise shouldn’t be an issue, at least not the noise coming from your toy.
The noise level will vary depending on the toy for motorized toys that offer different speed and vibration settings. The best way to figure out what kind of sounds you can expect from your toy is to browse online for videos of the toy you’re thinking about buying in action.
Design
Strapless strap-ons were created to be an alternative to strap-ons, which some wearers can find makes them feel detached from their sexual experience with their partner.
This design is good for providing double the pleasure to both the wearer and receiver. It can give lesbian couples the option to orgasm simultaneously, which isn’t always easy when you’re used to taking turns pleasuring your partner.
App/Remote Control
Not every strapless strap-on is remote controlled, but finding a version of this toy that is would be well worth the money.
Although this isn’t a toy that would be well-suited for long-distance lovers, adjusting the settings with both the shaft and pony inside you and your partner can get tricky and is probably best to avoid.
Budget
Silicone strapless strap-ons that vibrate generally range from $50 to $140 since they are made from a higher-quality material and include a motor.
You can also find budget models that aren’t motorized for as little as $30.
Read Reviews
An internal dildo can provide a sexual experience unlike any other sex toy. But the chances of your experience with a strapless strap-on not being positive are much higher since having to use your kegel muscles to keep it in can make them tricky to use.
Reading reviews will allow you to hear about the features other people did and didn’t like so much about their toy, allowing you to better assess whether or not it’s the right fit for you.
You can find more reviews and techniques in this guide. In addition, we have a guide about double-sided strapons.
How To Use A Strapless Dildo?
1. Wash It First
The most critical step in using any toy is ensuring it has been thoroughly cleaned to prevent bacteria or irritating particles from making their way to your sensitive lady bits.
2. Make Sure It’s Fully Charged
This step only applies to vibrating models.
To prevent a disappointing non-climax with your partner, keep any USB-rechargeable toys topped up and always have extra batteries on hand for battery-powered toys.
Even if your toy is dead, you can thrust your way to climax.
3. Learn How The Controls Work
Knowing how the toy works is especially important when you’re planning on using a strapless strap-on with a partner.
Running through the settings outside the bedroom can help you prevent a deer-in-headlights moment when the time comes to put your new toy to good use.
4. Create A Good Mood & Atmosphere
Cleaning the house, lighting candles, and playing music are just a few ways to prepare for a sensual experience with your partner.
Any pre-sex rituals that help you drop more into the present moment and feel in touch with your body will help make your experience more enjoyable.
5. Add Lube
Water-based lube is a great universal lube and a must-have for reducing friction during penetrative sex.
For the pony side, you’ll have to find a sweet spot with lube use, since too much will make it hard for the toy to stay inside, regardless of how strong your kegel muscles might be.
It’s essential not to overdo the lube part; otherwise, the toy may slip out. Use just enough for comfortable insertion and not a drop more. So it’s a good idea to start with just a small drop and add more only when needed.
6. How to insert a strapless strapon
- To ensure you’re ready to perform with your new toy the first time, it’s a good idea to practice by yourself beforehand. During this time, you can figure out how best to engage your PC muscles to grip the toy and experiment with keeping the toy inside you in different positions.
- One significant benefit of posable dildos is they keep you closer to your partner than most strap-ons do, which can be more intimate. Many products have a joint between the shafts to control the distance from your partner, so I recommend playing around with the joint to understand how it works and what angle is most suitable for you.
- Most products have buttons at the bottom, so it’s a good idea to pick the pattern before insertion or use the remote control if it comes with one.
Pro Tip: One of our testers shared some useful tricks to keep it in place: “The penetrating partner should close their thighs tightly so it doesn’t slip out. If you don’t close your legs tightly, you must do an extreme Kegel to keep it inside. Changing position can be a bit tricky, but you can use your hands to keep it in place. Finally, plan on using your arm strength to help with thrusting since your legs are already busy.”
7. Remember Foreplay
Fun foreplay before penetrative sex is always a good idea, including when you use a strapless strap-on.
The anticipation leading up to sex is essential for full-body arousal, which can help you feel more relaxed, warm, and, most importantly, wet. You can use your fingers, tongue, or even a vibrating bullet to help get you and your partner in the mood.
8. Try Different Positions
Strapless strap-ons work best in positions that limit the effects of gravity on your toy. These positions include when the wearer is on their back, and the receiver rides it or is also on their back in a scissoring position.
In both options, the pelvic floor muscles won’t have to work as hard to hold the toy in place.
But, even if you’re not a strap-on pro, it’s worth experimenting with different positions. And you always have the option of using your hand for extra stability if you feel like the toy might slide out.
If you want to learn more about lesbian sex positions, I recommend this guide.
9. Pause Or Stop If You Feel Uncomfortable
If you or your partner feels uncomfortable at any point while using your strapless strap-on dildo, be sure to stop immediately.
Sometimes the sensation is too much, and other times you might have changed your mind about diving into strap-on play. Either way, your feelings are valid and should be expressed.
Checking in with your partner with a simple ‘Does this feel good?’ while you experiment with your strap-on dildo is a great way to ensure you are on the same page and enjoying the experience equally.
10. If It Doesn’t Work Out, Use A Harness
Even though you might be turning to strapless dildos to avoid awkward buckles and straps, there’s no shame in returning to using a strap-on harness if you can’t get the hang of these products.
There’s also the option to pick up strap-on panties that feature a cut-out for you to feed the shaft of your toy through. This panty style can be a nice middle-ground for anyone who is over harnesses but also needs an extra hand keeping their toy in place.
Aftercare and Maintenance
Properly Clean It
When you’re sharing strapless dildos, even with a fluid-bonded partner, it’s extra-important to keep your toys clean — especially if you’re using them for pegging or anal play.
Two dildos might mean double the fun, but it also means double the bacteria, and neither you nor your girlfriend wants to end up with a BV infection, which sharing toys increases the risk of. [2]
After having fun, lather the outside of your toy with a mild soap, ideally something created especially for sex toys, and give it a rinse with warm water.
Properly store it
After you’ve cleaned your toy and dried it completely, store it in its own bag or box, separate from all your other toys, and in a safe space until you’re ready to use it again.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How To Insert A Strapless Dildo?
As the wearer, inserting a strapless dildo is very simple and requires nothing more than to slip the ‘bulb’ of the dildo — also known as the pony — into your vagina and clench your pc muscles tightly around it to keep it in place.
You might need water-based lube to make the insertion process more comfortable, but remember that too much lube can make your toy too slippery to grip.
How to Keep a Strapless Strap-On In?
Keeping them inside your vagina is one of the hardest parts of using this sex toy, and it requires strong pelvic floor muscles if you want to stay completely hands-free.
Another option is to use underwear made specifically for strap-on use or to hold the toy in place with your hand.
What Are The Best Positions To Keep A Strapless Strapon Inside?
The easiest position to use a strapless strap-on in is with the wearer lying down and the receiver on top.
In this position, the wearer can keep their legs together and focus on engaging their PC muscles to hold the toy in place while the receiver rides the toy to their liking. The spooning position is also a good position because you have gravity on your side.
Are Strapless Strapons Safe?
Using any style of sex toy is safe as long as you do not share your toys with other partners and ensure that you thoroughly wash them before and after using them to prevent bacteria build-up. [3]
What Lube Should I Use?
When using silicone sex toys, it’s best to avoid silicone-based lubricants entirely.
Instead, please pick up a water-based lube since they’re shown to provide the most pleasure for vulva owners and are also best suited to be used with silicone toys without degrading them. [4]
How To Strengthen My Kegel Muscles So I Can Use A Strapless Strapon?
Kegels muscles refer to the pelvic floor muscles, which are the muscles you need to strengthen to hold a strapless strap-on in place.
When you contract these muscles, that’s referred to as a kegel exercise. Doing kegel exercises can be as simple as practicing engaging and relaxing your PC muscles, or if you want to take your kegel practice to the next level, you can pick up yoni eggs or kegel balls to help.
What’s the difference between a double-ended dildo and a strapless strapon?
Technically, strapless strap-ons are considered double-ended dildos, though a couple of other sex toy styles also fall under the beloved double dildo category.
Double-dildos also includes U-shaped dildos that women can use for double penetration while masturbating and I-shaped dildos, which are perfect for a mutual masturbation experience since both parties can move freely on the toy. More on double dildos in this guide.
Rachel
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