Hand care is a multi-billion dollar business. People invest their time and energy into manicures, fake nails, and hand moisturizers to make their hands look silky, smooth, and colorful. Although everybody can appreciate a lovely, soft hand, those with a hand fetish, AKA quirofilia, are sexually excited by hands.
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What is a Hand fetish?
Hand fetishists have varied preferences, with some showing intrigue towards the whole hand and others being into specific parts such as the fingers, palms, nails, or the back of the hand. Some may be aroused by soft baby-like hands with perfectly manicured hands, and others have a sexual attraction to bitten nails, rough and veiny hands that look like they’ve been working in the coal mine all day. No two fetishes are the same. [1]
As one user on Reddit shares his preferences:
“Long curved nail beds. Long slender fingers. No arteries protruding.”
A woman on Reddit shares that for her:
“Hands/arms have long been my favorite body part. I think it’s the touch thing. The hugging thing. Protection, warmth, strength, and support. Hands are also capable of doing some really amazing things.”
The excellent news for folks with a hand fetish is that unless you are dating someone who’s had their hands amputated, hands are generally heavily involved in sexual activity. The hand fetishist may be the one guy who prefers a hand job to a blow job!
All joking aside, there are many ways to explore a hand fetish, and it can be relatively easy to discuss it with partners.
How common are they?
There is very little research on the prevalence of hand fetishism. This may be because it’s one of the most common kinks. However, I hypothesize it’s because hands are so commonly involved in sex that perhaps people who are turned on my hands are less likely to create their own communities. After all, they may not consider their preference a fetish as it is so common.
For example, most people will say, “I really enjoy breasts,” instead of identifying as having a breast fetish because breasts are already sexualized. Similarly, if you are into hands, you may watch porn that features hand jobs or hand play, you may ask your partner to lick your fingers during sex, and you may enjoy a nicely manicured hand; however, you may be less likely to take on the identity of having a hand fetish.
Why do some people have a hand fetish?
Most fetishes develop from a young age, and this one is no different. In an article on fingernail Fetish, Dr. Mark Griffiths includes an interview with someone who describes how their sexual fetish developed:
“I definitely became aware of my Fetish around 5 or 6 when I started to become aroused and curious to what the nails must feel like on my skin. A few years later, it became more weird when I started to have scratching fantasies before going to sleep, giving me my first wave of self-induced erections.”
Unfortunately, many people describe their desires as weird instead of unique. We all have different desires. It’s just that some fetishes are more common than others.
Having a hand fetish also makes sense logically. According to new research, the hand has 1700 nerve endings, even more than the clitoris! Also, similarly to how some fantasize about a tongue or mouth providing pleasure, so too can hands!
So the combination of sensitivities and its ability to provide sexual pleasure may make some more likely to eroticize hands.
How do I tell my partner about a hand fetish?
It’s not always easy to talk to a partner about your sexual preferences. As with all fetishes, a great way to start this conversation can be to ask your partner about their sexual fantasies. Show them you genuinely care about their pleasure and are open to exploring with them.
After that, they may be more receptive to exploring your female hand fetish. Spend time thinking about exactly how you would be interested in exploring your desire, and give your partner some examples. Sharing what excites you about hands will make it easier for them to create an erotic environment for you effectively enjoy your fantasy.
How can I safely explore my fetish?
There are a ton of ways to explore a hand fetish! As one Reddit user shares:
“I really enjoy everything related to hands. Stroking, holding, pinching, kneading, grabbing. Hands can provide a variety of pleasurable sensations that don’t even have to be sexual. The touch of a hand is always a welcome, comforting feeling.”
I recommend thinking about what about hands turn you on and how you can explore it in a sexual setting. One Reddit user described their desire:
“I like licking my boyfriend’s hands – specifically his fingers. I started doing that and it all went from there. Having his fingers in my mouth is a turn-on, especially when I see him enjoying himself too (the fingertips are sensitive and nerve-packed indeed).”
Others are more into exploring their hand or finger fetish digitally. For example, a Reddit user shared:
“I’ve gotten them to send photos, videos, and have gotten one friend to play with his hands on webcam for me.”
You can also explore taking hand photos with a partner, watching hand fetish porn, or exploring more explicitly sexual acts such as fingering or handjobs. If you know a partner has a hand kink, use this as part of your flirting. Put your hand on display and softly scratch or touch a partner. You can even explore this desire by watching your hands as you pleasure yourself.
There are no incorrect ways to explore this Fetish, as long as you communicate your desires, ensure consent the whole way, and check in with your partner and your body to ensure you’re having a good time!
Have fun out there 🙂
Niki
PS, I am in the process of writing a book about demystifying fetishes. Please click here if you’re interested in sharing your experience with fetishes in the book (anonymously!) I also specialize in coaching clients to better navigate their fetishes. Please email me at [email protected] or check out my website to learn more.
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