The Karezza method is controlled, non-orgasmic, and non-seminal intercourse.
At first, it probably won’t sound appealing or natural to you. You might wonder, “What’s the point of sex without orgasms and ejaculation?”
Well, sex without orgasms and ejaculation doesn’t mean you’re not going to have pleasure. Actually, it’s very pleasurable. The only difference between orgasm-driven sex is your brain doesn’t get the dopamine high from orgasm, and therefore, it doesn’t get the low that follows.
In short, we have two programs for lovemaking:
- One is contributing to closeness and harmony,
- The other contributes to disharmony, disruption, and the failure of our relationships.
Karezza sexuality is the first one.
Table Of Contents
- What Is Karezza?
- Benefits Of Karezza
- The Science Behind The Karezza Method
- When we engage in sex that includes orgasm, we go on a hormonal roller coaster
- Karezza might be the method you need to save your marriage
- How to practice the Karezza method
- What if you don’t have a partner?
- If you want to learn more about Karezza
What Is Karezza?
Karezza (pronounced Ka-ret-za) is an Italian word that means “caress.” First talked about by John William Lloyd in 1844, Dr. Alice B. Stockham made this method of sexual relations without orgasm popular.
Karezza is based on ancient texts on sacred sexuality––tantra, Taoism, and shamanic traditions. So there’s nothing new; just a pinch of science was added to explain its benefits.
Benefits Of Karezza
When you practice Karezza, it will:
- Increase attraction and affection with your partner.
- Improve communication.
- Enhance feelings of peace and love.
- Nurture and grow emotional intelligence.
- Give a new meaning to a long-term relationship.
- Create a long-lasting bond with partners.
The Science Behind The Karezza Method
How we make love and how our relationships deteriorate do, in fact, correlate.
Relationships always start great but deteriorate with time for most couples. And a lot of it has to do with what goes on in the bedroom.
Unless you take drugs, having an orgasm is the most stimulating event you can engineer for yourself. It releases a cocktail of neurochemicals in your brain and is quite similar to how the brain reacts to heroin.
Thus, it’s a massive event for the brain.
However, there are repercussions. This cocktail of neurochemicals changes the reward circuit of the brain. When you overstimulate this part of the brain, it closes down and becomes less sensitive to pleasure with time. This is when our perception of our partnerships changes for the worse.
Dopamine gets released, and it’s super addictive. So, instead of wanting to be close and intimate with our partner, our brain wants the dopamine high. Our brain always craves a quick dopamine fix, so it has nothing to do with love, sacred sexuality, and intimate connection.
When we engage in sex that includes orgasm, we go on a hormonal roller coaster
You have probably noticed when you experience orgasms in your sex life, you often feel a big gap and disconnection afterward? Maybe you even see your partner differently?
After you have had a dopamine high, most of us go on a downward spiral, hormonally and neurochemically speaking. Our hormones affect the way we see ourselves and how we feel and see the world, and they also affect how we see our partner. So after orgasm, we see them with a bit more tainted glasses and then in a much more negative light, because our energy drops as our hormones lower.
When the hormonal shift occurs, we suddenly find fault. We focus on the one thing that might not be perfect about our partner. We laser in on that one thing we don’t like about that person, resulting in arguments.
On the contrary, when we engage in bonding-based love-making or Karezza, you and your mood are balanced.
You are the same person from one day to another, not a different one. When you get a dopamine high, you’re super happy one day, and the next, you fall apart.
Karezza might be the method you need to save your marriage
By now, you probably have understood that orgasms can create many problems. However, a feeling of abundance can replace the missing piece that’s haunting you after reaching peak orgasm––if you use the Karezza method.
Some people may realize they have never considered the orgasm factor in their love lives. With this knowledge, they might stop projecting their sense of lack of post-orgasm distress toward their partner. Unfortunately, even jealousy can be fueled by this and the belief your partner isn’t meeting your needs well enough.
They will realize it’s due to the change in the brain chemistry and not about their partner. They were simply out of balance, and it’s good to take some time to sit in silence for a few minutes a day with their partner. The old part of the brain called the amygdala, relaxes in response to affectionate behaviors. The amygdala is your defense mechanism.
There’s no problem to talk about right after orgasm because the amygdala will play its role in not being very helpful. Just make sure there’s some daily affectionate contact, preferably with no discussion, until brains are back in balance.
How to practice the Karezza method
By now, you understand the problem is not semen loss but the cocktails of neurochemicals released. So, how do you practice Karezza for beginners?
#1: Week 1 – Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally
You and your partner must be in this together, and it can’t be something one partner does without the other.
When both partners are playing around with the sexual energy with the goal of not going over the waterfall, it becomes a magical dance.
You now understand the science behind the Karezza sex method: to believe affection is much more productive than sexual pleasure itself, accept love is above all, and decide you want to nurture it.
During week 1, you can start by:
- Whispering compliments to one another.
- Smile and have a loving facial expression.
- Make daily skin-to-skin contact. For example, give each other a tantric massage using your favorite oils.
- Learn to be receptive and to listen to your partner intently.
- Focus on your body sensations when you feel the urge to have sex or when you see fault in your partner. If thoughts bring you out of the present moment, simply witness them and return to your body sensations. Repeat to yourself, “I’m on a dopamine detox, and it’s normal to feel awkward. It will pass.”
- Kiss your partner with your lips and tongue all over your partner’s body.
- Stroke them and hug them with the intent to relax them.
- Listen to your partner’s heartbeat as you lie down beside each other.
- Place your hands over their genitals and connect with their sexual energy without stimulating the genitals.
If the above steps are challenging, you’re probably not yet comfortable with intimacy. When you realize that, don’t shame yourself. You have just made the first step towards healing.
We live in a goal-oriented world, and people often fear intimacy. Some people even go about their whole lives without realizing they have a fear of intimacy. So be proud of yourself for recognizing it and keep practicing Karezza.
#2: Week 2 – Have sex without intercourse
Sex without intercourse? Yes. It means dry-humping or mutual masturbation without orgasms or ejaculation.
It can take up to two weeks for the neurochemical cycle to settle down, so at this point, you’re going on two weeks without sexual intercourse.
Humans need to engage in affectionate contact and bonding behavior every day that has nothing to do with intercourse. So during week two, use the following tools to nurture each other:
- Practice eye-gazing (i.e., eye contact) for five minutes with your partner.
- Cuddle before bed or in front of a movie to promote skin-to-skin contact.
- Give each other 30 minutes of undivided listening with no agenda attached. Release the urge to fix your partner and be present with your listening by identifying their feelings and needs.
#3: Week 3 – Add non-orgasmic and non-ejaculatory intercourse
After two weeks of no conventional sex, you can bring it back into your lovemaking sessions, but make it a point not to orgasm nor ejaculate. It’s called edging.
This sexual experience might seem difficult at first for penis owners, and they may highlight not releasing it might cause them pain or “blue balls.”
But stick to it for about three weeks to fully enjoy the benefits.
What if you don’t have a partner?
If you don’t have a partner to practice Karezza with, you can always practice solo Karezza with yourself.
Give yourself a self-massage, journal about how you’re feeling, and have non-climax masturbation. Shower yourself with love and whisper words of affection and compliments to your body.
If you want to learn more about Karezza
These three books will give you more information about the Karezza sex technique:
- “The Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow” by Marnia Robinson
- “Karezza: A Guide to Sexual Mysticism, Magic, and Creativity” by Dr. Stockham
*****
Biology has its agenda. One is to pass on genes. That means peer bonding for a while, getting restless with one partner, and finding novel partners later.
We live in a society where sexuality is goal-oriented and very predictable. Momentarily, try letting go of the desire for orgasm and experiment with something that will bring more intimacy in the long run. Please spread the word about the Karezza lifestyle and experience its benefits.
Hakima
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