Ready to take control in the bedroom and unleash your inner dominatrix? Whether you’re dreaming of tearing your partner’s clothes off or commanding the action, it’s time to step into a role of power. Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., our experienced clinical sexologist, brings you her favorite female dominant positions that will satisfy those fantasies. Here’s why you should give it a go:
- You’ll learn more about your sexuality and body – expect better orgasms and more confidence.
- Experimenting with sex positions is the fastest way to bring back the honeymoon phase and enjoy better sex. Don’t believe me? Studies link novelty to increased desire and sexual satisfaction in romantic relationships. [1]
- You’ll improve your relationship with your partner. Nothing strengthens the bond more than communication. However, you should always discuss boundaries and consent beforehand.
- If you realize you don’t enjoy being dominant, at least you’ll have another thing to cross off your bucket list.
Are you ready to take on the bedroom challenge?
Table Of Contents
1. Squatting Cowgirl
The squatting cowgirl is perfect for people who want to explore their dominant side. This variation of the classic cowgirl puts you firmly in control, allowing you to focus primarily on your pleasure. You can grind back and forth, stimulating your clitoris against your partner’s pubic bone.
For an added thrill, use a vibrator to heighten the sensation. This amplifies your enjoyment and provides a visual treat for your partner, giving them an excellent view of your body. It’s a win-win situation where you enjoy a bit of healthy selfishness while they enjoy the show! Yummy!
How To Do It
- The penetrating partner lies on the bed.
- The receiving partner positions herself in a squatting position over her partner’s hips.
- You can grind back and forth for more stimulations.
2. Amazon
The Amazons were fearless warriors, and now you can feel like on with this sex position. The Amazon empowers you to take control in the bedroom, much like the powerful Amazon warriors from legend.
Consider stepping up your role-playing game with themed costumes to fully immerse the Amazonian spirit. You can find plenty of inspiration online to transform your experience. Dressing boosts your confidence and adds an exciting new dimension to your sex life, making each encounter an exciting adventure.
How To Do It
- Have your partner lie on his back and bring his knees to his chest in a submissive position.
- Stand between his knees and sit on his thighs.
- Grab onto his shins for more control.
You can read more about the Amazon sex position in this guide.
3. Facesitting
Facesitting is a powerful way to explore being in control. This position puts your partner beneath you, a place where you can command pleasure and, perhaps, indulge in a little humiliation if that’s your cup of tea.
You can also do dirty talking as your partner performs oral sex, enhancing the thrill of your dominance. This can be a liberating way for your partner to give up control and embrace vulnerability.
However, it’s crucial to keep communication open. Discuss boundaries to ensure that the experience remains comfortable and consensual for both of you. You should also avoid putting too much weight on their head and mouth. This can turn into a serious thigh workout, but mastering this one can make your sessions very rewarding.
Pro Tip: The best way to keep safe is to come up with a safe word!
How To Do It
- Order your partner to lie on his back.
- Position yourself over his face, typically facing the opposite direction.
4. The Bridge
The Bridge is one of the best female dominant positions if you’re after a powerful orgasm. The angle allows your man to hit your G spot and stimulate your cervix at the same time, which can help you achieve shivers all over your body. Move your hips in a rhythm that fills you with the most pleasure and experiment with different sensations.
Unfortunately, clitoral stimulation isn’t possible with the Bridge, but since it’s a face-to-face sex position, you can take advantage of eye contact. Having your partner watch your climax can feel empowering and help you become more comfortable with your body.
How To Do It
- Have your partner get into a reversed plank bridge pose with his knees bent.
- They should keep their hands and feet flat on the floor for support.
- Carefully sit on top of his penis, place your legs on his chest, and hold onto his neck.
5. Lapdance
Can a lap dance be empowering? Yes, contrary to common belief, a lap dance can put you firmly in control where you’re running the show. In this intimate setting, you set the boundaries—your partner can look but not touch, ramping up the desire without crossing lines you define.
You also control the pace, depth, and dynamics of the movement. You can even heighten the power dynamic by dictating that your partner can’t touch you, flipping the typical script. It’s not just about him; it’s about you controlling the experience.
How To Do It
- Have your male partner sit on a chair or couch with legs spread.
- Face away from him and sit on his lap.
6. Spider
This Kamasutra variation of the spider position will test your stamina and sense of balance. The penis owner carries the most weight as the vagina owner stays on top, but both partners move their hips simultaneously (more Kama Sutra sex positions here).
Many other sex positions allow you to achieve the same angle as the spider without physical exertion, so if your partner agrees to try it, it means they value your pleasure a lot. Show him appreciation by completely giving in to it.
Allow yourself to focus entirely on the sensations you’re experiencing and adjust the hip movement to match your partner. You can even draw inspiration from tantra techniques that require you to synchronize your breathing and stay in the present.
How To Do It
- The penis haver sits with their legs spread and knees bent, leaning backward.
- The vulva owner sits on top in the same position, facing the penetrating partner and their butt resting on the partner’s thighs.
- They both raise gradually and keep their hands flat on the floor for balance.
7. Reverse Missionary
The reverse missionary is a female-dominant sex position that flips traditional gender roles, offering a fresh and exciting experience. Unlike the classic missionary, this variant puts you in control, allowing you to explore new sensations. Initially, it might feel a bit awkward, especially for men who aren’t used to spreading their legs and surrendering control in this way.
Communication is key, so please check in with your partner to ensure they’re comfortable. Taking charge can be incredibly empowering and exhilarating, so if you want to spice things up and assert your dominance, reverse missionary is worth trying.
How To Do It
- Have your partner lie on his back with his legs spread.
- Sit in a straddle position in front of him and slide his penis inside.
- You can hold onto your partner’s legs to control the movement.
8. Sideways Saddle
Sideways saddle resembles a reverse cowgirl, except you’re positioned sideways. It allows you to enjoy an entirely different sensation you’re used to and allows you to explore your body.
You’re also fully in charge of the speed and depth of the penetration, which makes it a good option for dominant females.
Apart from allowing you to be in charge, the sideways saddle has an element of degradation as there’s no eye contact, and all your partner does is lie flat. It’s almost as if you were using him as a human dildo!
Pro Tip: Lean forward for a better angle and deep penetration.
How To Do It
- Have your partner lie flat on the bed with his knees together and legs straight.
- Position yourself sideways and squat over your partner’s penis. You can place one hand on your partner’s chest for better balance.
- The dominating partner slides into the position.
9. The Lock and Key
The lock and key is great for women who enjoy being in charge but don’t feel confident enough to be on top just yet. It’s similar to missionary, except you get to control the thrusting speed. It might be quite a sexual workout, but the angle and the eye contact make it worthwhile.
The lock and key is also perfect for incorporating sex toys since you have space to stimulate your clitoris. You can try one of the couple vibrators that allow you and your partner to experience heightened pleasure at the same time.
How To Do It
- Lie on your back.
- Have your partner position himself over you on all fours.
- Wrap your legs around his waist.
10. Doggy With Strap-On
Doggy style with a strap-on is a great sex position as it can help you explore your dominant side and potentially allow you to enjoy sex more than you used to. Women are often taught that being penetrated equals having something taken away from them, so swapping the roles can be a big confidence booster.
Receiving anal can seem vulnerable and sometimes even degrading for most men. Of course, some enjoy the feeling, and if you and your partner are on the same page, there’s no reason you shouldn’t try male anal penetration.
You can find many more pegging sex positions in this article.
Pro Tip: Get a hands-free strap-on to enjoy vaginal stimulation while penetrating your partner.
How To Do It
- Have your partner kneel on all fours on the edge of the bed.
- As a general rule, you should put plenty of lube on the dildo and then slide into the position slowly.
- Make sure to check in with your partner once in a while.
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