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Spreader bars don’t look all that complicated, so you may be thinking that you can snap your cuffs onto a broom handle and be good to go — but this really isn’t the case. Unpolished/unfinished wood can break and splinter easily, and while splinters are never any fun, splinters when you’re naked are a whole different level of not-fun.
We recommend buying a well-designed and well-made product like the Bondage Boutique Extreme Expandable Spreader Bar. It comes complete with compatible restraints and the whole kit and caboodle is under $100 (even less if you use our discount code AFF-MSTG10 for 10% off), and it will provide a safer and likely more satisfying experience.
We understand that you may still be interested in DIYing your own project, and we’re going to break that down later in the article. Stay tuned!
Table Of Contents
Why You Should Trust Us
My Sex Toy Guide is staffed by folks whose job it is to report on the best (and worst) sex toys and BDSM gear out there. We are sex educators, researchers, and journalists and we have spent over a decade bringing you everything that you need to know about these products and this industry. As such, we are uniquely qualified to evaluate whether these DIY BDSM projects are likely to disappoint — or worse!
What Is a DIY BDSM Spreader Bar?
A spreader bar is a restraint that keeps a person’s limbs spread and restrained, which limits their movement but keeps them accessible for sex. This is typically utilized as part of a BDSM dynamic, but of course anyone who wants to play with a spreader bar can.
A spreader bar is typically long enough to spread the user’s legs wide open and it has either built-in restraints (usually cuffs) or attachment points for your favorite restraints. The best BDSM spreader bars are adjustable because people come in different sizes.
A DIY spreader bar is one that you make from scratch or customize to fit your needs and preferences. If you’re thinking of creating your own, we recommend that you check out the Bondage Boutique Extreme Expandable Spreader Bar that we also linked above. This is the highest-rated product that we reviewed, and it should serve as inspiration.
Is Making a Homemade BDSM Spreader Bar Safe?
Short answer: not really.
You may think — and you’d be right — that a spreader bar is somewhat lower-risk than other possible projects, such as sex swings or other furniture that needs to support the weight of (at least) two grown adults. But when it comes to health and safety, “not quite as bad as it could be” is not really what we want to aspire to.
A spreader bar has to be strong enough to withstand a certain amount of force, and it can’t be so rigid that it will stop you short when you move against it. It can’t shatter or splinter, and the restraints absolutely need to have a quick-release feature. This is actually a lot to ask of what appears to be a simple device, and it’s why you should trust the professionals who understand what is needed.
The Best of What’s Out There
If you’re still here, you’re probably still interested in putting together your DIY spreader bar. We think that it’s safest and wisest to purchase a professionally made product, but we also know that not everyone wants to do that.
Our staff spent quite a lot of time evaluating suggestions that seem popular online, and we’ve narrowed them down to a few that seem to have potential.
Note that any action you take upon the information on this website is strictly at your own risk, as stated in our Terms of Service.
1. Aluminum Pipe
This is a fairly simple project based on aluminum pipe, which is available at most hardware stores. Be sure to choose pipe that feels solid and sturdy, and of course, use brand-new pipe and not something sourced from another project (because we don’t know if it’s become brittle and/or weak).
Materials:
- Aluminum pipe
- Eye hooks
- Washers and nuts that fit the eye hooks
- Carabiners with a quick-release feature
- Restraints of your choice
- Saw that can cut aluminum
- Sandpaper or file
- Drill that can drill through aluminum
Step-by-Step Guide:
- Use the cutting tool to cut your pipe to the desired length. Smooth the ends with sandpaper or a file.
- Measure where you want the attachment points for the restraints. Use the drill to create holes on each end of the pipe.
- Insert eye bolts and use washers and nuts to lock them tightly.
- Attach carabiners to the eye bolts, and attach restraints to the carabiners.
2. Dowel Rod
This project comes from the r/BDSMcommunity on Reddit. The basic construction is relatively simple, and you can finish the spreader bar any way that you like. These materials should be easily available at any craft store.
Materials:
- 5” wooden dowel rod
- Eye hooks
- Wood stain
- Lacquer
- Measuring tape
- Saw
- Drill
- Coarse and medium-grit sandpaper
- Paintbrush
- Restraints of your choice
Step-by-Step Guide:
- Use the saw to cut your dowel rod to the desired length.
- Use the coarse sandpaper on the cut edges, and use the medium-grit sandpaper to sand the entire rod smooth.
- Measure where you want the attachment points for the restraints, and drill a small pilot hole at each end of the bar.
- Use the wood stain to stain your dowel rod and the lacquer to finish it. Let it dry thoroughly.
- Screw the eye hooks into the pilot holes, and attach the restraints to the eye hooks.
3. PVC Pipe
We sourced this one from Quora, where users are not shy about calling out what they see as misinformation. This project seems to have earned approval from self-described experts.
Materials:
- PVC pipe
- 2x PVC end caps
- Eye bolts
- Nuts and washers
- Carabiners with a quick-release feature
- Fabric, leather/leatherette, and/or electrical tape for customizing
- Saw
- Drill
- Adhesive
- Restraints of your choice
Step-by-Step Guide:
- Use the saw to cut the PVC pipe to the desired length.
- Drill pilot holes in each end cap. Screw the eye bolts into the holes, and secure with washers and nuts.
- Insert the end caps into the ends of the PVC pipe and secure with adhesive.
- Wrap the pipe with fabric, leather/leatherette, and/or electrical tape as desired.
- Attach the carabiners to the eye bolts, and attach restraints to the carabiners.
Note that all the projects we suggested here require you to supply your own restraints. We recommend The Stockroom’s Premium Garment Leather Cuffs. The Stockroom is known for their buttery-soft leather goods, and these are some of the nicest cuffs that we’ve tested.
What Not to Do
As we wrote above, our staff has been looking at the good, the bad, and the very bad when it comes to homemade spreader bars and other BDSM gear. We want to call out a few things that you should never ever do when you’re putting together your own spreader bar.
- Don’t Use Weak Materials: We’ve seen videos suggesting that you just attach your cuffs (somehow!) to the nearest broom or mop handle. This is not safe! These handles are usually made of hollow plastic or the cheapest wood. Our legs are strong (even if leg day at the gym doesn’t get all the love that it deserves) and mop and broom handles, especially repurposed ones, are flimsy. I’ve broken them by accident and I’m a little old lady! They will not stand up to being used as a spreader bar, and there’s a good chance that they will break into sharp or splintery pieces.
- Always Sand Rough Edges: This isn’t just about aesthetics. Most people have sex without any (or at least many) clothes on, and you don’t want to get scratches or splinters in sensitive areas. Yes, sanding a four-foot-long spreader bar can feel tedious. Yes, you still need to do it.
- Secure Attachment Points: As we said above, legs are strong. Attachment points that are not well anchored can rip out easily, which can lead to injury. Use thick, solid eye hooks as your attachment points, and make sure that they are secured with the help of nuts and washers where need be.
Look at the Fetish Fantasy 24-Inch Spreader Bar set. It includes neoprene wrist and ankle restraints connected by extremely strong metal bars. This is a safe way to play, and it’s also not that easy to replicate in a home workshop.
Why Is It Better to Buy a Commercial Product?
As we have explained, the most compelling reason to buy a commercially produced spreader bar or BDSM yoke is your (and your partner’s) safety. You don’t want pain or injury that you’re not expecting! Products are designed and produced by experienced professionals and thoroughly tested before they go to market.
Reputable sex toy and gear manufacturers have access to high-quality components. We like the Liberator Talea, which is made with Liberator’s famous foam so it can also be used as a bolster. It is covered in luscious leatherette that’s skin-friendly and wipes clean easily. We aren’t going to be able to get anything close to these materials at a big-box hardware or craft store.
Other reasons why it is better to buy commercially produced products include effectiveness and versatility. Most manufacturers design a wide range of gear, and the good ones ensure that all or most items in the line are compatible. This helps to create a complete, immersive BDSM experience and also allows you to curate your adult toy chest.
The Sportsheets Expandable Spreader Bar above is a good example. It can be shortened or lengthened so it can be used on either the ankles or the wrists. It’s not easy for DIYers to put together an expandable bar without sacrificing strength. It can also be used with other Sportsheets cuffs.
Maggie
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