DIY BDSM Toys: PRO TIPS from a BDSM Sex Toy Tester!

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A lot of kinksters are also creatives, so it’s not really a surprise that there’s a lot of interest in crafting DIY BDSM toys and gear. However, this is something that should be approached with extreme caution.

We’ll talk more about that below, and we’ll also recommend the All You Need Bondage Kit from Lovehoney for just $159.99 (and our discount code AFF-MSTG10 gets you another 10% off). It’s a great start to an adult toy chest, and more importantly, everything in this kit is safe for intimate use.

Why You Should Trust Us

My Sex Toy Guide is staffed by product testers, sex educators, researchers, and journalists. Cumulatively, we have many decades of professional (and personal!) experience evaluating and reporting on sex toys, sex furniture, BDSM gear, and the like. We know what works and what doesn’t, and we are here to share that with you. Another reason to trust us is that we are not beholden to Big Dildo. We are independent, so we have no monetary motive to mislead you.

What Are DIY BDSM Toys?

“BDSM toy” is a very broad category and can include furniture and props, impact implements, restraints, sensory teasers, and more. Basically, a BDSM toy is something that people use to enhance or facilitate their experience.

A DIY BDSM toy is one that the participants have created themselves, either completely from scratch or by adapting pre-made items. They may do this because they think that it will save them money, or they may do this because they think that their needs/wants are so unique that they can’t be found on the market.

We have already recommended Lovehoney’s All You Need Bondage Kit. It comes with 20 pieces of gear to play with. This is a great way to discover which BDSM toys work best for you, and it also lets you see what safe toys look and feel like if you’re still interested in making your own.

Is Making DIY BDSM Toys Safe?

The short answer here is: not really. You may be depending on your BDSM gear to safely support or restrain at least one full-grown adult. You may be using your BDSM toys and gear on naked skin. And you may even be using them internally. All of these use cases demand rigorous safety protocols. This is not easy, and often not possible, to DIY.

One of these safety protocols is the need for body-safe materials that can be thoroughly cleaned and disinfected (even toys that are not used internally, like paddles, are likely exposed to skin cells and bodily fluids). Medical-grade silicone, hypoallergenic fittings, and similar components are not easily accessible to the general public. This is one of the many reasons why we recommend that people purchase their toys and gear from manufacturers who do have access.

The Best of What’s Out There

If you’re still reading, you’re probably still interested. We’ve done a deep dive through DIY BDSM projects, and we are sharing the ones that we think have potential to succeed (although we still think that it’s a better idea to go with the pros).

Please be aware that any action you take upon the information below is entirely at your own risk, as laid out in our Terms of Service.

Homemade BDSM Furniture

BDSM furniture is especially well suited for folks who live the lifestyle 24/7 (although that’s not a requirement, of course!). It can be pricey and it’s not always easily available, so you may be tempted to try to make your own. Here are some projects to consider:

1. Homemade BDSM Bed

A DIY BDSM bed is a great addition to any dungeon, and if you don’t have a separate dungeon room (in this economy?!), it will not look out of place in the master bedroom — especially if you forego the cage and the cross. Because you start out with a commercially produced bed frame, you can trust that the frame itself is sturdy and supportive.

Materials Needed

Wooden bed frame
Metal eye bolts (we recommend eight, but this depends on how many attachment points you want)
Carabiners (in the same amount as the eye bolts)
Measuring tape and pencil to mark measurements
Cage, bed risers, bed skirt (optional)
Cross (optional)

Step-by-Step Guide

Measure and mark your attachment points. We suggest one set at the very top of the bed, one set at the foot of the bed, and two equally spaced sets in between.
Screw the eye bolts into position. Check that they are securely attached and able to withstand pressure.
Attach one carabiner to each eye bolt. You can then attach restraints of your choice to the carabiners.
If you want a cage under the bed, you should ensure that there is at least 24” of clearance under the bed. You can use bed risers to achieve that if necessary. We recommend a long bed skirt to conceal the cage.
You can also attach a cross to either the head or foot of the bed.

2. DIY Bondage Bench

We saw this bench on the r/BdsmDIY subreddit (Reddit.com), where it received quite a few positive comments. It is modular, so the measurements and configuration are the creator’s suggestions, but you can easily adapt it to suit your needs.

Materials Needed

Sturdy black plastic tubing (several lengths of 36” and several of 24”)
Black plastic tubing mounts
Plywood (28” x 18” x 2”, 10” x 18” x 2”)
Foam, preferably memory foam, in the same dimensions as the plywood
Automotive vinyl, leatherette, or similar material
Pneumatic staple gun
Knife
Screws

Step-by-Step Guide

Create benches by layering the foam over the plywood, covering with vinyl, and stapling in place (make sure that the cover is very secure).
Attach tubing mounts to each bench and screw into place.
Attach tubing mounts to the ends of the tubes and screw into place.
Assemble the tubes as shown in the link, screwing each connection into place.

3. DIY Spanking Bench

A spanking bench supports the sub in comfort so the Dom/me can inflict pain — this may seem contradictory, but one tenet of safe and sane BDSM play is that any pain or discomfort should be expected and consensual! This project is also from our friends at r/BdsmDIY. It’s not really a beginner’s project, but it is beautiful.

Materials Needed

(16) M10 wingnuts
(18) Large square washers, 10mm
(16) Double-ended screws (wood screw and M10)
(8) Coach screws, approximately 80mm x 10mm
(8) 10mm washers
(64) Wood screws, approximately 80mm
(38) Wood screws, approximately 24mm
(43) Wood screws, approximately 45mm
(2) 10mm eyebolts or similar
Foam rubber
Leatherette, vinyl, or similar, 1m x 1m
120mm x 45mm wooden beams, totaling 7.62m
45mm x 45mm wooden beams, totaling 1.72m
Power drill and drill bits (11mm-12 mm for M10 holes, suitable bits for coach screws and double-ended screws, 25mm-30 mm for sinking coach screw heads)
Screw bits fitting wood screws and double-ended screws
Hex nut wrench fitting coach screws
Handsaw
File
(2) clamps
Steel ruler
Square
Staple gun and staples
Pencil
Hand router with radius cutting bit (optional)
Circular saw (optional)
Miter saw (optional)
Band saw (optional)
Angle grinder with flap disk (optional)

Step-by-Step Guide

Parts needed: (2) side supports, 120mm x 45mm wooden beams, 650mm long
1. Place two side supports on the floor.
Parts needed: (1) bottom: 120mm x 45mm wooden beam, 700mm long; (1) top, 120mm x 45mm wooden beam, 700mm long; (2) side centers, 120mm x 45mm wooden beams, 410mm long; (8) coach screws, approximately 80mm x 10 mm; (8) 10mm washers; (20) wood screws, approximately 80mm.
1. Place the top and bottom between the side supports. Place the center supports between the top and bottom. Align and glue everything together, adding wood screws and coach screws for stability. Leave room for the cutout for the feet.
Parts needed: (2) outer sides, 120mm x 45mm wooden beams, 650mm long; (28) wood screws, approximately 80mm
1. Place the final two side supports on top. Drill a shallow hole in each side support. Glue, clamp, and screw the supports in place.
Carefully saw cutouts for the feet. The cutout height should be 160mm and depth 30 mm.
Parts needed: (6) double-ended screws (wood screw and M10)
1. Drill holes for double-ended screws to hold the feet. They should be centered in the vertical beams, with the two bottom ones 17.5mm from the bottom and the top one 22.5mm from the top of the cutout. Screw in the screws, leaving 60mm of each screw sticking out.

4. DIY Good Girl(Boy)/Bad Girl(Boy) Chair

This is a piece that you can use for role-play and/or punishment. It’s a lot easier than the above project! Make sure that you start with a very sturdy chair that can withstand some force.

Materials Needed

Wooden chair
Foam, preferably memory foam
Leatherette, vinyl, or similar material
Eye bolts (we suggest six, but that depends on how many anchor points you want)
Carabiners (in the same amount as the eye bolts)
Staple gun
Knife

Step-by-Step Guide

Cut foam to match the seat of the chair. Cut leatherette three inches larger on each side. Place the foam on the seat of the chair, cover with leatherette, and staple the leatherette down to create a cushion.
Attach eye bolts to the legs, back, and sides of the seat of the chair. Attach carabiners to the eye bolts. You can then attach restraints to the carabiners.

5. DIY Sex Machine Chair

This builds on the above project!

Materials Needed

DIY Good Girl(Boy)/Bad Girl(Boy) Chair
Dildo or vibrator, preferably with a flared base. If you’re using a vibrator, it needs to have a remote control.
Superglue or similar adhesive
Knife

Step-by-Step Guide

Cut a slit in the center of the cushion of the chair.
Insert the dildo or vibrator in the slit so that it is sticking up (like an erection), and glue it in place.

6. DIY BDSM Queening Stool

A queening stool is typically used for face-sitting (a kinging stool is used for rim jobs, and it functions the same way). The sub lies on the floor underneath the stool and the Domme takes her throne above the sub’s face.

Materials Needed

Wooden chair (legs and back do not have to be wood)
(2) 2”x8” pieces of lumber
Foam
Fabric (thick canvas, leatherette, or vinyl)
Superglue or similar adhesive
Saw
Jigsaw
Sandpaper
Staple gun
Screwdriver
Knife

Step-by-Step Guide

Remove the legs and back from the chair.
Cut the 2”x8” wood to match the length of the seat and sand it smooth. (You can also have the wood cut to size at the hardware store.)
Cut a large hole in the seat of the chair.
Cut the foam to cover the seat of the chair (cut a hole in the foam to match the hole in the seat).
Cut the fabric to create a seat cover and staple it in place, making sure that there are no exposed staple “points” on either the top or bottom of the seat.
Glue the 2”x8” supports to the bottom of the seat.

DIY BDSM Accessories

If you are intimidated by some of the above projects, you may want to start out making or adapting some accessories instead. Like anything else in the kink arena, it’s perfectly respectable to start out slowly and ramp up if and when you are comfortable doing so! These next suggestions are a great start.

Ropes: We love ordering everything that we can online, but here we recommend going to a store where you can see and feel what you’re getting. Shop for a soft, smooth rope made of cotton or silk in your favorite color. Practice basic bondage knots like the single- or double-column tie. Don’t tie your knots too tight, and make sure that you don’t position the knots over joints or sensitive areas. And as always, have safety shears handy and never leave your partner alone when they are tied up.

If you can’t find a rope that you’re satisfied with, we recommend the Bondage Boutique Soft Bondage Rope. This cotton rope is specially woven to be non-abrasive and to flatten against the sub’s skin. It’s only $20, so why look elsewhere?

Hoods and Masks: These can add an extra level of sensory deprivation to a BDSM scene, and they can also help you get into character for role-playing. Some very upscale retailers sell soft satin sleep masks that make excellent blindfolds (and, we suspect that they are well aware of that, lol). You can also create your own hoods, blindfolds, and masks out of any soft fabric. Old t-shirts, bandanas, and scarves work quite nicely.

Leashes and Collars: Most Dom/mes love the symbolism here, and they also serve as excellent restraints. You can find some nice pieces at better pet stores (obviously, look for collars made for large breeds), or create your own out of ropes or ribbons. Surprisingly, it’s probably cheaper to buy purpose-built BDSM gear like the Bondage Boutique Faux Leather set that comes in under $25.

Candles: Wax play can be extremely sensual! We recommend using beeswax or soy wax, either unscented or scented with essential oils. It’s possible to make your own candles, but there are some very nice ones at stores that sell home goods. Whether you are using your own creations or store-bought candles, always test the wax temperature before dripping it on naked skin.

Clothespins: Clothespins make good nipple clamps and are easily available at most craft stores, home goods stores, or even big-box stores. You can choose either plastic or wooden clothespins. If you choose wood, you can paint them or decorate them with markers. Be sure to sand the DIY nipple clamps smooth with fine-grit sandpaper.

Feather Duster: A feather tickler works very well as a sensory toy, especially when the sub is restrained and/or blindfolded. This kind of play is a great introduction to BDSM since neither the sub nor the Dom/me has to worry about whether the pain is too intense. Plus, you can hide it in plain sight! They are available from basic (dollar store) to bougie (real feathers from exotic birds), or you could buy the Oh! Feather Tickler from Lovehoney.

Ice Cubes: Ice cubes are something that you can find in any home and they can be part of sensory temperature play. We recommend not inserting ice cubes internally (vagina or anus); instead, put them inside a condom and seal the condom with a knot or rubber band.

What Not to Do

We wrote above that we’ve been all over the internet looking at DIY BDSM toys. We’ve shown you what we think is the best of what’s out there, but we also want to call out some things that we saw but wish that we hadn’t. Do not, under any circumstances, play with:

Sandpaper: Just, don’t. This can cause serious harm to the delicate skin in the sub’s erogenous zones, and this would be seriously regrettable. There is no grade of sandpaper that is safe for sex play.
Ice Dildos: We did mention ice cubes above, but we also mentioned that ice should never be inserted internally. You’re risking frostbite, tears (ice can be sharp!), and other damage. Practice safe sex and use a condom on the ice if you’re inserting it either vaginally or anally.
Sharp Objects: There’s a reason why most professionally produced BDSM toys focus on impact. Wide, flat surfaces are safe to play with; narrow sharp ones are not. Knife play can lead to infections or wounds much deeper than intended, which could very easily lead to an expensive trip to the emergency department for stitches.

Why Is It Better to Use Commercial Products?

The most compelling reason to use commercially produced BDSM toys and gear is that they are safer, full stop. Products from reputable manufacturers and retailers have been designed, engineered, and manufactured with safety at top of mind. They care about their customers, and they also care about their bottom line, so they’re not going to risk lawsuits over items that haven’t been thoroughly tested and proven safe. They can also obtain materials that are strong and body-safe, which is not always possible when you walk into a big-box craft, hobby, or hardware store.

Yes, BDSM is about pain, but the pain should be both controlled and expected. Pain from untested toys that don’t work the way that they should is not doing kink right. A good Dom/me’s duty is to care for their sub, and one way to do that is by responsibly choosing their equipment. For instance, we recommend the Fetish Fantasy Breathable Ball Gag Training System over anything homemade. Ball gags are super dangerous both in the moment since they can restrict breathing, and also longer-term since they are used internally (yes, in the mouth counts as internal) and therefore there is a risk of infection.

Maggie

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Maggie Hart

Maggie Hart has written about sexual well-being and sexuality in society for quite a few years now. She is active in communities that celebrate sex for older adults.