7 Rough Sex Positions For Adventurous Couples

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You may be wondering where the line lies between “rough sex” and BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism).

There is obviously a fair amount of overlap, but BDSM is a whole dynamic and sometimes even a whole relationship. Rough sex is just that: sex where one or both partners enjoy a certain kind of physical intensity. Both BDSM and rough sex do demand trust and communication.

Does it matter how you label what you like? In one sense, no. You and your partner like what you like, and very few people’s likes fit into neat little labeled boxes. But terms like BDSM do have commonly accepted meanings, so especially if/when you are new to each other, it’s a good idea to choose your words carefully to ensure that you’re on the same page.

Read on to learn more about what works when you and your partner are in the mood for rough sex!

1. Doggy-Style

Doggy-style is one of the most popular sex positions around the world, and there are lots of good reasons why. It’s generally comfortable and accessible for both partners, it allows for deep penetration, and for many couples, it targets the receiving partner’s G-spot.

It’s also well-suited for folks who enjoy rough sex, especially when the penetrating partner is doing the roughing up. The penetrating partner’s hands are free to spank the receiving partner, pull their hair, or hold them down by the shoulders.

Also, the penetrating partner is in full control over the depth and pace, so they can be as aggressive as their boundaries allow.

What We’re Doing

The receiving partner gets on hands and knees with legs spread. They can put a firm pillow or sex wedge under their hips to adjust the angle if desired; additionally, the pillow provides support if/when the penetrating partner gets rough.
The penetrating partner kneels behind the receiving partner, between their legs. The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in. This position works for both vaginal and anal intercourse.

2. Squatting Cowgirl

Now, a position where the receiving partner is in control and has their hands free to rough up the penetrating partner! And if desired, the penetrating partner can smack the receiving partner’s rear end or grab their breasts.

This position also allows for deep penetration, and either partner can stimulate the receiving partner’s clitoris.

What We’re Doing

The penetrating partner lies on their back. They can put a firm pillow or sex wedge under their hips to adjust the angle if desired.
The receiving partner straddles and squats over the penetrating partner’s pelvis.
The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in. This position works for both vaginal and anal intercourse.

3. Face Sitting

Here’s another position where the receiving partner is in charge. They can use their body weight to (carefully) dominate the giving partner and grind on their face. For a little bit of role reversal, the giving partner can hold the receiving partner by their hips and control their body.

What We’re Doing

The giving partner lies on their back. They can put a firm pillow under their head to adjust the angle and/or support their neck.
The receiving partner straddles the giving partner’s chest with their knees on either side of the giving partner’s head.
The receiving partner moves forward so that their pelvis is over the giving partner’s face, and the giving partner performs oral sex.

4. Reverse Cowgirl

The receiving partner is in control over the depth and pace of penetration in this position as well, but the penetrating partner has their hands free to spank the receiving partner or pull their hair. The penetrating partner can also hold the receiving partner down by their hips to control their body.

What We’re Doing

The penetrating partner lies on their back. They can put a firm pillow under their hips to adjust the angle or under their neck for support if desired.
The receiving partner kneels, straddles, or squats over the penetrating partner’s pelvis, facing their feet.
The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in. This position works for both vaginal and anal intercourse.

5. Countertop

We say “countertop,” but any (sturdy) piece of furniture that’s the right height will work just fine here.

It could even be an outside structure if you have enough privacy! And, of course, if your bed is a little taller than average or the penetrating partner is a little shorter than average, you can use that.

The penetrating partner can hold the receiving partner down or be rough with their breasts and upper body.

What We’re Doing

The receiving partner sits on the counter (or other platform) with legs spread. If there is a wall behind the counter, they can lean on it for support. This also allows the penetrating partner to be a little rougher.
The penetrating partner stands in front of the receiving partner, between their legs. The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.

6. Carry Me

This position requires strength and coordination. So, it may not fit the exact definition of “rough sex” since the focus will be on balance here, but we think that it captures the spirit since the penetrating partner is completely in charge of the receiving partner’s body.

It does require trust, communication, and intimacy as well as physical strength. The receiving partner can wrap their arms around the penetrating partner’s shoulders and lean on their upper body to lighten the load a little.

What We’re Doing

The penetrating partner stands with their feet about shoulder-width apart for balance.
The penetrating partner picks up the receiving partner and holds them face-to-face. (Hint: read about the “countertop” position above. It’s a lot easier to pick up the receiving partner from this position instead of from the floor.)
The receiving partner wraps their legs around the penetrating partner’s waist. They can hold on to the penetrating partner’s shoulders for balance. The penetrating partner holds the receiving partner under the buttocks for support.
The receiving partner uses their hand to guide the penetrating partner’s penis in.

7. Pile Driver

The Carry Me position above is physically demanding on the penetrating partner; the Pile Driver position asks a lot (flexibility, core strength, balance) from the receiving partner.

It also allows the penetrating partner to control the receiving partner’s body, and it facilitates very deep and powerful penetration (this is where the opportunity to be rough comes in).

What We’re Doing

The receiving partner lies on their back, legs shoulder-width apart and bent. They can put a firm pillow or sex wedge under their back and hips for support.
The receiving partner elevates their pelvis and brings their legs up and back towards their shoulders.
The penetrating partner stands between the receiving partner’s legs. The penetrating partner grasps the receiving partner by their hips and thighs and lifts their pelvis.
The penetrating partner bends their knees (if necessary) to align their pelvis with the receiving partner’s pelvis. The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in. This position works for both vaginal and anal intercourse.

Maggie

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Maggie Hart

Maggie Hart has written about sexual well-being and sexuality in society for quite a few years now. She is active in communities that celebrate sex for older adults.