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The most common sex positions are doggy-style and missionary, and both of those are typically driven by the penetrating partner.
If you’re looking to switch things up a bit, which can be exciting and empowering for both of you, we’ve got ten recommendations for positions where the receiving partner is the one in control. Read on for some inspiration!
Table Of Contents
1. Cowgirl
Cowgirl is probably the first woman-on-top position that comes to mind, but it is definitely not the only one (as you will see going forward). The receiving partner gets to control the angle, depth, and pace of penetration, which puts them firmly in control.
They can also take charge by using their hands or a small vibrator to stimulate their clitoris. The penetrating partner can lie back, give in to the sensations, and enjoy the view! (Note: this position works for both vaginal and anal sex.)
What We’re Doing
- The penetrating partner lies on their back with their legs together and knees straight or slightly bent. They can put a firm pillow under their hips for support or to adjust the angle if desired.
- The receiving partner kneels over or straddles the penetrating partner’s pelvis.
- The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.
2. Squatting Cowgirl
I figure if a girl wants to be a legend, she should go ahead and be one. — Calamity Jane
This is a variation on the cowgirl position above, with all the same benefits. In addition, if the receiving partner is squatting upright or even leaning back slightly instead of kneeling and leaning forward, the penetrating partner gets an even better view of the action.
Being more upright also just feels more in control, so if you’re going for the female-dominant dynamic, this is exactly what you want. It’s so exciting that it may not last very long, which is probably okay because this one counts as a leg day workout for the receiving partner.
What We’re Doing
- The penetrating partner lies on their back with their legs together and knees straight or slightly bent. They can put a firm pillow under their hips for support or to adjust the angle if desired.
- The receiving partner squats over the penetrating partner’s pelvis. They can reach behind them and grasp the penetrating partner’s knees or thighs for support.
- The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.
3. Reverse Cowgirl
There is no shortage of ways for a cowgirl to ride her stallion! Reverse cowgirl can feel even more dominant because you can (with their consent, of course) “use” your partner like they were a human-sized dildo mount. The receiving partner can control everything about this encounter.
For many couples, the angle of penetration in reverse cowgirl targets the G-spot. Plus, the receiving partner has access to use their hands or a toy to stimulate the clitoris or any other body parts they want to play with.
What We’re Doing
- The penetrating partner lies on their back with their legs together and knees straight or slightly bent. They can put a firm pillow under their hips for support or to adjust the angle if desired.
- The receiving partner straddles, kneels, or squats over the penetrating partner’s pelvis, facing away. They can reach underneath and grasp the penetrating partner’s thighs for support.
- The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.
4. Chair Cowgirl
One more variation on cowgirl — this one is good for chair sex or couch sex. There’s nothing that says “in control” louder than telling your partner to take off their clothes and sit still!
You can tease your partner and grind on them before initiating intercourse, and if you’re feeling especially bossy, you can tell your partner that they are not allowed to touch you or even move until you approve it. Of course, in this position, the receiving partner controls the action.
What We’re Doing
- The penetrating partner sits in a chair or on a couch with legs together, feet flat on the ground for stability, and back straight (or leaning back slightly for support).
- The receiving partner straddles the penetrating partner, facing them. They can grasp the penetrating partner’s shoulders or the back of the chair for support.
- The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.
5. Lap Dance
You might think that the person receiving the lap dance is “in charge,” but this would be very very wrong. The dancer gets to tease and please, and in this position, they also get to decide when actual sex happens and control the action too! This position is very empowering for the receiving partner.
Feel free to dress up and put on your favorite music to set the scene!
What We’re Doing
- The penetrating partner sits in an armless chair with legs together and feet flat on the ground for support.
- The receiving partner straddles the penetrating partner’s legs with their back to the penetrating partner. The receiving partner can dance, rub, or grind against the penetrating partner.
- The receiving partner leans forward slightly and the penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.
6. Face-Off
This is another seated sex position where the receiving partner is on top (which is pretty much the only way to do seated sex). It is more sensual and intimate than, say, the lap dance position — but the receiving partner is still very much in control over the depth and rhythm of penetration here.
This position requires either strong core muscles or back support for the penetrating partner.
What We’re Doing
- The penetrating partner sits on the edge of the bed (or a couch) with knees bent and legs slightly spread.
- The receiving partner straddles the penetrating partner’s lap and squats with their feet flat on the bed.
- The receiving partner can grasp the penetrating partner’s shoulders or chest for support, and the penetrating partner can also brace the receiving partner’s hips and lower back.
- The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.
7. Lotus
This position feels like yoga, but with bonus orgasms! It is a staple of tantric sex, which focuses on connection and sensation.
The receiving partner is very much in control, although deep and/or vigorous thrusting is not really a possibility here. This is a very intimate, loving, and bonding position with the opportunity for eye contact and kissing; being dominant does not rule this out!
What We’re Doing
- The penetrating partner sits in an armless chair with their legs crossed.
- The receiving partner straddles the penetrating partner’s lap, facing each other. The receiving partner wraps their legs around the penetrating partner’s waist.
- The receiving partner can grasp the penetrating partner’s shoulders or chest for support, and the penetrating partner can also brace the receiving partner’s hips and lower back.
- The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.
8. The Lazy Man
This position may be a bit of a role reversal, but it’s a win-win: the penetrating partner gets to be “lazy” (but still very much enjoying themself), and the receiving partner takes the lead to ensure their own pleasure by controlling the angle and pace of penetration.
This position requires either core strength or back support for the penetrating partner; we think that back support fits the “lazy” mood better!
What We’re Doing
- The penetrating partner sits or reclines slightly with legs extended, either straight or with knees slightly bent.
- The receiving partner straddles the penetrating partner’s pelvis and squats slightly with their feet flat on the bed.
- The receiving partner can grasp the penetrating partner’s shoulders or chest for support, and the penetrating partner can also brace the receiving partner’s hips and lower back.
- The receiving partner lowers themself on the penetrating partner’s lap and the penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.
9. Face-Sitting
Without a doubt, face-sitting is the ultimate example of the receiving partner being in control of their partner and their orgasms.
This is obviously something that should not be done without communication and consent, but once boundaries (and a safe word) have been established, it is a great way for a receiving partner to flex their pleasure muscles.
What We’re Doing
- The giving partner lies on their back. They can put a firm pillow under their neck and head for support and/or to adjust the angle.
- The receiving partner straddles or squats over the giving partner’s face. This can work with the receiving partner facing the giving partner or facing away.
- The receiving partner lowers themself over the giving partner’s mouth and the giving partner performs oral sex. The receiving partner should not put their full weight on the giving partner’s face; the receiving partner can hold on to the headboard (if facing the giving partner) or brace against the giving partner’s chest (if facing away).
10. The Octopus
This position is less complicated than it looks and sounds, but it does require decent core strength and balance (the penetrating partner can lean against a headboard or similar, which will then let them help support the receiving partner).
The receiving partner controls the pace and depth of penetration, and very deep penetration is possible here. The receiving partner also has access to stimulate their clitoris with their hand or a small vibrator, which is another way to be in control.
What We’re Doing
- The penetrating partner sits with legs spread and bent, and their arms behind them for support.
- The receiving partner sits between the penetrating partner’s legs.
- The receiving partner bends their legs and (likely with the penetrating partner’s assistance) lifts them onto the penetrating partner’s shoulders. The receiving partner also leans back on their arms for support.
- Partners align their pelvises and the penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.
Maggie
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