A male perineum massage involves the stimulation and massage of the perineum, which is the skin area between the scrotum and the anus. This massage can be performed for various reasons, including relaxation, pleasure, and health benefits. But it’s an area that needs special care due to the sensitive nature of the tissue and the possibility of causing a burning sensation.
What is it? How does it work? Are there risks? And what can you do to ensure it’s safe and effective? This article by clinical sexologist Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., is the perfect place to start!
To perform a male perineum massage, it’s important to ensure the giver and receiver are comfortable and relaxed. Using a lubricant can help reduce friction and enhance sensations. Gently apply pressure to the perineum with your fingers or the palm of your hand, using slow, circular motions. Experiment with different pressure levels and techniques to find what feels best for the receiver. Communication is essential throughout the massage to ensure both partners enjoy the experience.
Table Of Contents
What Is the Male Perineum?
The male perineum is the piece of skin between the pubic bone and the scrotum, part of the pelvic floor muscles [1] (circled in the illustration below). The most commonly associated functions of the perineum are the ejaculatory reflex, the sensation of pleasure during intercourse, and the function of urination.
What Is The Prostate?
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located in the pelvis, just below the bladder and in front of the rectum [2]. It surrounds the urethra, which is the tube that carries urine and semen out of the body. Its location allows it to play a crucial role in reproductive and urinary function in males.
The prostate gland is pleasurable to massage, and some say it’s the male equivalent of the G-spot in women. However, unlike the G-spot, the male G-spot (AKA P-spot) is easier to find and stimulate.
If you want to try an internal prostate massage, we have a comprehensive article on how to stimulate your prostate via the rectum.
Why Should I Stimulate My Perineum?
The perineum is located close to the anus and the sexual organs, a region packed with nerve endings and blood vessels. Hence, perineal massage arouses the body, causing increased blood flow around these regions [3]. This blood flow makes the perineum and surrounding sexual regions more sensitive and increases pleasure.
Perineum massages may lead to prostate orgasms and ejaculations, and some men consider it to be more intense and pleasurable than penile ejaculation. You may even experience multiple orgasms while doing this practice.
In addition, a P-spot orgasm may even have some health benefits. It can cause the draining of seminal fluid and other fluids from the prostatic ducts, which may alleviate symptoms of certain prostate-related medical conditions and improve prostate health.
How To Prepare For A Perineum Massage?
Preparing for a perineum massage involves creating a comfortable and relaxing environment and ensuring both the giver and receiver feel safe, informed, and comfortable. Here are some steps to consider:
1. Have a Chat With Your Partner
Perineal massage is not a new concept, but you may find stigma surrounding it. Start by having an honest and open conversation about expectations, preferences, and consent. Remember that sexual preferences vary for individuals, so respect their preferences.
Ongoing consent and comfort checks throughout the massage are vital, and any partner should feel free to stop or adjust the activity at any point. This ensures both partners feel safe and respected at every step.
It also helps to establish a safe word (e.g., red for stop, yellow to slow down) or signal (drop an object like a small ball).
2. Education
Both partners should familiarize themselves with the anatomy of the perineum and the techniques. Do your research online or seek guidance from reputable sources to ensure you perform the massage safely and effectively.
You can also consult healthcare professionals for guidance on performing the massage safely, especially regarding prostate health, or with a therapist or sexual health professional if there are anxieties or concerns about intimacy and physical touch.
3. Be Safe
Male external perineum massage and stimulation are generally safe to try. However, I recommend to speak to your medical practitioner, especially if you have any pre-existing medical conditions. As with any sexual activity, there are certain safety precautions to take into account:
- Choose a quiet and private space where you won’t be interrupted. Make the room warm and comfortable with soft lighting and soothing music. Have clean towels or blankets on hand for added comfort.
- Keep your nails short and trim: You must keep your nails short to avoid poking around your partner’s body and causing perineal injuries.
- Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water before the massage. Encourage your partner to clean the perineal area with mild soap and water to ensure cleanliness.
- Use Lubricants: Use a good lubricant to avoid discomfort or injuries, but please consider potential allergies to ingredients like glycerin, parabens, and propylene glycol (do a skin patch test beforehand). A water-based lubricant is a great choice, but you can also use silicone lube (for longer sessions but not suitable with silicone toys) and natural oils like coconut oil, almond oil, olive oil, or other edible oils. Please note that some oils can degrade latex (found in condoms and some sex toys), so always check the ingredients.
- Start slow: It might be tempting to increase your speed immediately. However, please start slowly and ease into it with time.
4. Get Your Gear Ready
Using sex toys for perineum and prostate massage is great if the receiving partner is comfortable with the idea. Some suitable toys are bullet and finger vibrators but please ensure they are made of body-safe silicone, metal, or glass. Please wash them according to the manufacturer’s guidelines before and after use.
5. Empty Your Bowel And Bladder
Perineum massages sometimes involve anal penetration with anal toys, fingers, or even a penis. This pressure can create a sensation that makes you feel like you want to pee or poop. As long as you pee before starting the activities and have had bowel movements before, you should be fine. Listen to your body!
6. Set The Tone
Encourage your partner to relax and unwind before the massage. Practice deep breathing (such as the 4-7-8 technique), guided meditation, or listening to calming nature sounds to set a tranquil mood, making the experience more enjoyable and relaxing for both partners.
You can engage in foreplay and play fun bedroom games to arouse you and your partner. Consider a sensual massage, too, like a back or butt massage.
How to Give a Male Perineum Massage
There are specific for giving a perineum massage to ensure you and your partner are comfortable, especially if it’s your first time. But remember to establish consent for every step of the massage, especially if introducing new elements like toys or tongue usage.
You must be cautious of signs that might necessitate stopping the massage and consulting a professional, such as pain or discomfort not alleviated by adjusting technique or position.
1. Use Lube
Apply a generous amount of lube to the perineum region and your fingers, too. You can never use too much lube, especially for anal play, so be generous with it. You can read more about the types of lube in the preparation section above.
Gently massage the area using the tips of your index or middle fingers. Apply gentle pressure to the perineum by rubbing and stroking it. When the receiver is warmed up, you can apply firmer pressure.
You must also reapply lubricant during the massage so the area doesn’t become dry, especially during longer sessions.
2. Use Circular Motion
One popular method is to run your finger in a circular motion on the perineum while maintaining firm pressure. Start gently, gradually increasing pressure, and continuously check in with the partner’s comfort level.
Pro Tip: While stroking the perineum, you can use your other hand to add a sensual sensation to your partner’s building pleasure. Stroke their penis up and down as in a hand job, licking their bodies, and kissing them.
You can adjust the pressure and make his body respond to your touch. Please urge them to communicate so you know when to apply more pressure or back off.
3. Make Use of Your Tongue
Your fingers are not the only body parts that you can use to please your partner during a perineum massage session. You can also use your tongue to stimulate the perineum and prepare your partner for action.
Alternate the pressure of your tongue against the perineum, stiffening and losing it while listening to your partner’s response to the movement. You can also switch the direction of your tongue, flicking it up and down or side to side for more intense sexual pleasure.
4. Use A Vibrator
One of the goals of a perineal massage is to stimulate the prostate, and using a vibrator on the perineum can cause both internal and external stimulation of the area.
Maintain a light pressure first to let your partner warm up to the sensation. You can also add light strokes while stimulating the area and increasing pressure for more intense orgasms.
Don’t forget to encourage your partner to communicate what you are doing right (or not) – signs to look out for include deep breathing and moaning.
Note: Please choose a toy with a flared base if you plan to insert it into the rectum (so it won’t become irretrievable). You can read more about what to do in case of an accident in this article.
5. Contract The Muscles
For added pleasure, the receiver can contract and relax their pelvic muscles. This exercise moves the prostate gland closer to the skin walls, making it more accessible to the giver.
6. Perineum Vibration
Clench your fist and put it firmly against the perineum. Start vibrating your fist lightly. Stay in this position for 30 seconds, then twist your fist for five turns. Repeat. Please be gentle and attentive to the partner’s reactions as this can be quite intense.
7. Aftercare
I recommend check-ins after the massage to discuss the experience (what felt good and what did not) and feelings it evoked, fostering an environment of continuous learning and adjustment to each other’s preferences.
You should also do some aftercare activity, such as cuddling, gentle cleaning of the area, or applying a hypoallergenic, fragrance-free soothing lotion (avoid applying lotions to any areas that might be sensitive or irritated) to enhance comfort and connection post-massage. This is essential for both emotional and physical well-being.
Also, note that every session might not go as planned, and that is okay. The key is maintaining open communication and adjusting as needed, prioritizing mutual comfort and enjoyment over following a set routine.
Best Perineum Stimulation Positions
You may need to adapt some positions according to your physical comfort and limitations, as not all suit every body type or flexibility level. I also recommend changing positions if any discomfort arises.
1. Prone
Prone is a simple and beginner-friendly position. Lie facedown on your bed and keep your legs slightly apart with a pillow propped underneath your hips. Your partner will sit comfortably behind you and start gently massaging your perineum.
Ensure both partners have comfort and good support. The giver should ensure their hand position allows for gentle, controlled movements.
2. Missionary
Lie on your back and raise your knees to your chest as if performing a full crunch. Hold your knees up with your arms while your partner sits or kneels in front of you and massages your perineum. Your legs will be up throughout the session.
Raising the knees to the chest can be quite intense for some people, so please adjust the height to what feels comfortable, perhaps by using pillows for support under the knees.
3. Spooning
Like the legs-up position, lie on your side, bring your legs up, and let your knees be close to your chest. Your partner will position themselves behind you and massage your perineum.
Spooning provides more closeness and intimacy than the other positions. Also, note that verbal communication during the massage is key, as visual cues are limited in this position.
4. Squatting
While the squatting position offer direct access to the perineum, it may be physically demanding for some. It’s crucial to ensure stability and comfort to prevent strain or injury. This position might be better suited for shorter durations and could benefit from holding onto a stable object (like a chair) for balance.
The receiver gets into a squatting position while the giver slides their head underneath. The giver can use their fingers or tongue, and if the receiver is performing solo masturbation, they can use their own fingers.
Rachel
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