A blowjob is one of the most versatile sex acts in your playbook. It’s so discrete you can do it anywhere (as long as there’s privacy), yet effective enough to make your partner climax in seconds with the proper techniques. But what if you’re a beginner with no clue what to do? No sweat! Clinical sexologist Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., wrote a beginner’s guide on how to do a fantastic blowjob!
- Start by ensuring all partners are comfortable with the sex act and discussing boundaries or preferences.
- Hygiene is key, so ensure your partner is clean before you start.
- Use your hands and mouth in tandem, using saliva for lubrication and varying your techniques (more on that below).
- You can also use your tongue on sensitive areas like the frenulum or licking around the shaft and balls.
- Remember, enthusiasm and eye contact can significantly enhance the experience for your partner.
Table Of Contents
How To Suck Dick Like a Pro In 10 Steps!
Nothing sucks more than a lousy blowjob (No pun intended!). But did you know that for your partner to give an unforgettable “service,” it takes both of you to do it right?
1. Make Your Partner Shower First!
I love sucking dick! But nobody wants to blow a smelly penis.
If your partner just took off their pants and hasn’t showered yet, expect a smelly penis coming your way. No exemptions!
Pants and underwear make for a warm squeeze, which always means a sweaty penis. No bueno!
If you’re still concerned about hygiene and safety, such as STI transmission, I recommend using a condom.
Pro Tip: It’s a good idea for all partners to do regular STI testing, especially in non-monogamous relationships. I also recommend avoiding oral sex if there are open-mouth sores or bleeding gums, which can increase the STI transmission risk.
2. Consent and Communication
Everyone involved in the sex act has to give explicit consent, not only to the act itself but to all the techniques and tools, especially when it comes to anal play, as not everyone is okay with it. The consent should be revocable at any time during the sex act.
You must also ensure open communication both before and during the sex act. Discuss boundaries and expectations beforehand, and check in with your partner during the act to ensure they are having a good time.
3. Try To Be Confident
Many people are hesitant to give head because they haven’t tried it before, or if they did, they didn’t have a lot of practice.
As with everything in life, “fake it till you make it” works great when blowing your partner.
Nobody’s incredible at it on their first try, and many people learn how to do it well as they go.
4. Try To Be Enthusiastic
There’s probably a never-ending list of things that can make your partner hard, so let’s add another.
If you want to perform a blowjob, just ask for it.
It’s exciting for any penis owner to hear their partner ask for sexual satisfaction.
Your enthusiasm is infectious, and the evidence will immediately present itself before they even say yes.
5. Use Your Tongue And Hands
Please use as many tools as possible to maximize effect. The mouth and lips are apparent enough, but we can do more with the tongue, hands, and even our throat.
Moving your tongue around the head of the penis works wonders. Your tongue will be able to feel every twitch and tingle their penis makes. You can also use your hands for some ball play or give them a hand job. If they are into it, your hands can even reach the anus for a bit of prostate stimulation.
Pro Tip: You can even use a bit of air to do some work, too. Sucking all the air from your mouth works well, but don’t underestimate the effect of blowing air onto the penis. Yummy!
6. Saliva Makes Things Easier
Do you know how your vagina makes its lubrication to make sex easier?
Your mouth can do the same thing, so put it to good use.
Making your blowjob a little sloppier with some saliva helps your mouth glide through the penis at even the roughest speeds.
That sloppy blow job sound can be a turn-on for them, too!
7. Eye Contact
Another personal preference is eye contact.
Some like to have their partner look them in the eye while receiving oral. It gives them a primal sort of pleasure.
Do be careful, though. Some people find eye contact creepy while their partner has their lips around their cock.
Try doing it quickly to see if they responds well to it. Pay attention to the penis behavior and moaning.
8. Don’t Forget The Balls!
One common mistake when giving head is they get so carried away with licking, sucking, and nipping the penis that they forget about the balls.
So that you know, the balls can be just as sensitive as the penis while you’re doing a blowjob.
They’re also nice and close, so it’s easy to pleasure the penis and the balls simultaneously.
You can touch them and suck on them, depending on what your partner is comfortable with.
Important: While the balls are super sensitive, they don’t stand up to pressure as well as the penis does. Working them too hard can be painful. Be gentle, then work your way up.
9. Change The Rhythm
Just as good sex requires a decent repertoire of positions, good blowjobs do too. Unpredictability goes a long way in pleasuring a penis.
Take it slow, then fast, then slow down again. Alter your routes and angles now and then. You can use your hands to keep the flow going when your mouth tires.
10. Try Swallow
Swallowing cum is hugely pleasurable for reasons we can’t explain. My partner says they loves it if they can deposit their sperm inside my mouth. They enjoys the tingling sensation caused by the sucking movement of my lips when they are coming.
I enjoy the feeling of having their warm milk in my mouth, too. Besides, semen has a salty-sweet flavor, and it’s clean and safe to swallow.
However, we know that swallowing cum isn’t for everybody. If you’re not comfortable with the idea, tell your partner they can give you a facial instead or let their semen hit your boobs. No good person will ever force you to swallow their cum.
Only do this if you’re willing to do it.
No-Nos When Sucking Dick
There are some obvious things to avoid while giving head. First and foremost, the penis is extremely sensitive, so you should avoid anything sharp and hard.
- This means no teeth! If you’re worried about your teeth getting in the way, know that the teeth don’t interfere with the blowjob in any way. They just sink into the background while your mouth and tongue do their thing.
- This goes double for biting! You must know that all pain is heightened in this sensitive state. Even if you just nibble on their penis a little bit, they can react in unpredictable ways, causing further damage to the penis.
- As for your partner, one thing they should never do is push your head down. They can play with your hair, but they should never make you force their dick down further than it should.
- Meanwhile, be sure to cut those fingernails. Remember that giving your partner a blowjob includes using your hands. Long fingernails can be sharp, and they can leave scratches on your man’s cock and balls.
9 Advanced Cock Sucking Techniques
If you already gave dozens of blowjobs to your partner, it’s about time to put the whole thing to the next level.
Learn some more advanced blowjob techniques and see the difference they can make.
Here are some of the strategies we’ve learned so far.
1. Suck Their Dick With Dirty Talk
Dirty talking is an effective way to build the right mood for the job.
Telling your lover that “I love your big cock in my mouth” or “I want to swallow your cum” gets both of you in the right state of mind for intense sex.
Don’t just shout those kinds of things immediately, though, especially if you’re not the person who typically talks dirty.
There’s an art to dirty talk that requires a deep understanding of your relationship.
Pro Tip: The dirty talk should always follow the current mood. Whispering small things like “I want you” in their ear is one of those things that get us instantly hard. As the mood improves, make your talk dirtier and dirtier. Reserve the nastiest stuff when they’re about to cum, and you’ll make the experience a lot better.
2. Use Surprise To Your Advantage
Surprise blowjobs make a lot of the mundane things that people do a lot better. Things like getting home after a tiring day, or driving home after a terrible party, can be excellent opportunities for a good blowjob.
Your partner will appreciate the gesture.
3. Deepthroating
You may have seen deep-throating in porn videos, but it’s a complicated sex act.
There’s a reason why the gag reflex exists, and most people would be satisfied with whatever you’re comfortable with. If you want to deep-throat your partner’s penis, I recommend reading our comprehensive guide on how to deep-throat.
4. Lick Their Frenulum
The frenulum is the little patch of skin at the bottom of the head that connects the penis head to the foreskin. This area is a sweet spot for blowjobs.
Stimulating this area is sometimes enough to give your partner a frenulum orgasm. As you run your tongue up and around their penis, make sure you give this area enough attention. Their response should be enough to tell you how good this feels.
5. Add A Sex Toy To The Mix
If you want to overload their senses, try using sex toys while you give them head.
Putting a vibrator on the balls or shaft while you pleasure their helmet makes for an even better blowjob.
If they are comfortable with it, do a blowjob while using prostate toys.
6. Add A Rim Job
If you are comfortable performing a rim job and your partner is ok with receiving one, you can give them one right after oral sex. It’s mostly a matter of changing the position. Speaking of positions,
7. Try Different Positions
There’s a lot of experimental space when it comes to blowjob positions.
You don’t always have to use the basic “man sitting down, woman kneeling” position.
Variety is the spice of sex, and there’s a whole lot of variety to be had.
8. Try A Reverse Blowjob!
This one’s a lot less obvious, but you’re a cock sucking pro if you can pull it off!
Have your partner go on all fours with their legs slightly split apart. You will be behind on your knees or in whatever position feels comfortable. Then reach between the legs to get their penis (There’s more than enough bend in a penis to get it through to the other side for you).
This position gives you many new angles to work with. It makes frenulum stimulation with the tongue a bit challenging but not impossible.
9. How to Suck Dick Better With Household Items
There are some food items you can use to spice things up.
- Whipped cream is an excellent blowjob companion. It makes a beautiful sound while being applied and makes the sensation in the mouth slightly different. Getting a little bit of flavor helps a lot if you’re not into the taste of a penis too.
- Chocolate is another thing you can try. The body’s temperature usually isn’t enough to melt chocolate quickly, but you can make some tasty ganache.
- If you’re into temperature play, ice cubes are great things to incorporate when sucking their dick. The difference in temperature between your mouth and the ice can be exciting. Try running it through different areas around the shaft and balls to see where they likes it best.
What Should I Do If I Feel Anxious?
Emotional comfort and anxiety play significant roles in sexual experiences, particularly in activities like blowjobs, where physical intimacy and vulnerability are heightened.
One good way to address emotional comfort is to create a safe, open, and non-judgmental space where everyone feel valued and respected. This safe space allows people to discuss their desires, boundaries, and concerns without fear of ridicule or pressure. It also fosters trust and deepens intimacy, making the sexual experience more fulfilling for all partners. Open communication, explicit consent, and mutual respect are key elements in enhancing emotional comfort and reducing anxiety.
Performance or body image issues can cause anxiety, which can significantly impact the enjoyment and satisfaction of the sex act. I recommend addressing anxieties with patience, understanding, and supportive dialogue. All partners must recognize each other’s feelings, offer reassurance, and adjust the techniques to match their comfort levels.
Some people may not even like giving blowjobs due to past trauma, or they are disgusted by the whole idea. That is totally okay and must be respected. Instead, you can try other sexual activities, such as stimulating the penis using your hands.
I recommend using mindful breathing, focusing on the sensations, and taking things slow to help with anxiety. Prioritizing emotional comfort and anxiety not only improves the blowjob experience but also strengthens your relationship.
Happy sucking!
/Rachel
PS: if you have a partner who wants to learn how to suck their own dick, I recommend Shane’s excellent guide!
We also have a great guide on how to eat pussy!
Finally, if you don’t have a partner, we have a guide on how to practice blowjobs with a dildo.
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