Yoni Massage: A Beginners Guide To Discovering Female Pleasure

Spa with candles

If you’re curious about Yoni massage but feel unsure whether it’s for you, this guide by experienced Tantra teacher Hakima Tantrika is for you!

Yoni massage, or the art of applying gentle pressure on specific points on the vagina, is an incredible way to relax the whole human body and improve overall wellness. It originated in India over 3,000 years ago, but in recent years, it has become popular in the west.

Whether you are a new tantra practitioner or an experienced massage therapist, learning the ins and outs of Yoni massage can be daunting. But don’t worry, I am here to help! This beginners guide will provide you with the tools to heal––and please––the female genitals.

What Is A Yoni Massage?

In Sanskrit, yoni means “source,” “womb,” “sacred space,” “sacred portal,” or “vagina,” and a yoni massage is a tantric tool that supports the well-being of vagina-owners. It’s a holistic massage of the female genitals with plenty of benefits.

Most people don’t know that tantra is a doctrine evolving around the feminine. Women are worshiped as the world’s creators, and the word “yoni” reflects this belief. The yoni is the “source” of origins and a connection point to another realm. When a woman receives a yoni massage, she can access other states of consciousness she wouldn’t access without it.

Benefits Of A Yoni Massage

The most important benefits of Yoni massages are:

  • Healing emotional trauma.
  • Tension and menstrual problems relief.
  • Sex exploration and empowerment.
  • Increase of pleasure.

A Few Words of Caution

Because a yoni massage works on a deeper level, this isn’t a simple massage. It affects the person not only on the physical level but also on the emotional and mental levels. Therefore, it’s essential to have an intention when you give or receive a yoni massage. The intention shouldn’t be the orgasm.

Both partners need to come from a place of love and openness, and being in a state of detachment––the outcome of the Yoni massage therapy is not important. The process is the only factor that matters during a yoni session, so you want to feel grateful for whatever arises.

A couple talking

Role of Giver

A woman who is receiving a yoni massage will most likely notice if the giver is present or not. For this reason, the most important role of the giver is to be present.

The giver needs to be also empathetic, caring and occasionally ask how the receiver is feeling. Communication is an essential part of a yoni massage as you want to understand what’s working for the other and what’s not.

Watch the body language and the signs. If you see any tension in the receiver’s face, eyes, or shoulders, be sure to ask what’s going on and reassure her. It’s always important to respect her limits, and if something is not working for her, slowly stop and change techniques.

Most men who want to give vaginal massages sometimes expect something in return. However, you should refrain from expectations. Instead, you want to offer the Tantric massage with a selfless attitude and worship the divine feminine inside her.

Role of the Receiver

As for the receiver, your role is simply to trust and surrender. When you ease into the yoni massage and release tension, magic usually happens.

By surrendering, you relax into your feminine energy. Surrendering doesn’t mean becoming passive and powerless. It’s quite the opposite––when you surrender, you show strength and confidence in the process. It takes a lot of courage to let go of fear and tension.

Let new sensations and feelings appear, and let your partner know what’s going on. Wear a sarong as it will be easier to uncover yourself during the yoni massages.

Step-by-step Guide How To Give A Yoni Massage

Make sure you have enough time without any distractions, and then proceed to the following steps.

Woman preparing incense

#1: Create a sensual space

During a yoni massage, you want to stimulate the senses:

  • Smell: burn some incense or use some essential oils.
  • Sight: light candles or soften the ceiling light. Blackout shades keep street lights and headlights from intruding into your safe space. You can also use blindfolds if the receiver feels comfortable with them.
  • Touch: if you give the yoni massage on your bed, opt for natural cotton bed linen as it doesn’t create irritation on your skin. You also want to prepare pure, organic oils for the full body massage, such as coconut oil or baby oil. Limit yourself to natural lubrication for the vaginal area.
  • Hearing: prepare a sensual background music playlist.

While you’re making sure you stimulate each of these senses, prepare several towels. Some women can experience a G-spot orgasm during a yoni massage, and it can get very wet.

Last but not least, make sure that the room has the right temperature and coziness.

#2: Invitation ritual

It’s important to open a yoni massage by an invitation ritual.

Eye gazing tantra

  1. Open the Tantric yoni massage by sitting in front of each other, legs crossed, and holding hands.
  2. Gaze at each other and imagine slowly melting with one another.
  3. Gently close your eyes and meditate on your intention in silence. Stay there for about 10 minutes.
  4. Take deep diaphragmatic breaths and relax.
  5. Open your eyes and continue the breathing exercises with your partner. Then, thank each other for their time, openness, and presence.

Remember to do breathing techniques during the yoni massage, taking deep belly breaths.

#3: Massage the whole body

It is time for the receiver to lie down on her stomach, close her eyes and surrender to the sexual experience.

The giver will start by massaging the whole body. When the giver does so, they need to imagine that their arm is the extension of their heart.

A woman receiving a massage

  1. Start slowly by awakening the senses while the receiver keeps her sarong.
  2. Slowly slide the sarong down to her feet. This move will create a magical sensation and a smooth transition towards nudity.
  3. You want to use feathers, silk, fingertips, your warm breath, and your nails to create tingly sensations on your receiver’s body. Alternate with light and firm touch, and use essential oils to awaken her olfactory sense or feed her chocolates or strawberries.
  4. Move to a tension release massage using a lot of body oil. Play with the pressure. For example, you can make circular movements with your thumb around her breasts. Or you can squeeze her breasts towards the nipples with one hand.

#4: Slowly move towards the yoni

Once the receiver is ready, you can slowly move towards the yoni. Soften her up until her belly becomes very soft.

Remember that touching “around it” is more recommended than touching directly. Touching her vagina too quickly can frighten a woman, and she can hold back. Always ask for permission before exploring the inside of her vaginal canal.

Yoni Massage Techniques

Now, it is time to take care of the yoni. Before reviewing the techniques I have for you, check out these important points carefully:

  • The “how” is always more important than the “what.”
  • Please do not leave the yoni until the receiver confirms they are ready to do so.
  • Stay present even after the yoni massage ends. It helps a woman become more open and more vulnerable.
  • Always apply a lot of massage oil when you massage around the yoni but avoid using oil when you massage the inside.

And now, the Yoni massage techniques:

Heart-yoni connection

This technique you want to apply when you start and finish the orgasmic yoni massage.

  1. Make a cup-form with your left hand and cup the yoni under your protective hand for a while.
  2. With your right hand, stroke the woman’s face and say a few words such as “relax,” “it’s safe here,” or simply “goodbye.”
  3. Move your right hand to the heart to create a heart-yoni connection.

Lower abdomen massaging

  1. Hold the pubis with one hand while the other one gently pets the vulva.
  2. Then, one hand cups the genital area while the other hand circles on the lower abdomen.Yoni Lower abdomen massaging
  3. Put one finger on the vaginal opening and pulsate it lightly without entering. Keep the other hand rested on the lower stomach area.

Lips massaging

Vagina-owners have two types of vagina lips, also called labia: the inner labia and the outer labia.

  1. Rest both of your hands on her outer pussy lips and connect with your intention.Yoni Lips massaging
  2. Then take both vaginal lips between the fingers and gently massage them. Press both lips together with your thumbs and shift them against each other, alternating.Yoni massage Press lips
  3. Press lips together with the inner sides of your hands, palms facing downwards, and slightly lift or move them.Yoni Press lips and move up
  4. Then, press the inner and outer lips together with the outer sides of your hands, palms facing upwards. Rub them quickly but softly against each other. Imagine that you are sparking a fire.

Clitoris massaging

The clitoris loves attention. With more than 8000 nerve endings, it’s the primary source of orgasm for women.

  1. Use two fingers to slide along the inner and outer lips. Apply slow and long strokes from top to bottom, either separately or simultaneously. Let one finger rest on the clitoris.Yoni Clitoris massaging
  2. Then, massage the clitoris between the thumb and index finger. Slightly twist, without sliding the hood back. The other hand rests on the vulva.Yoni massage slightly twist clitoris
  3. With one hand, slide the clitoris hood back, then release it. The other hand holds the vulva.
  4. Massage the clitoris directly with one fingertip to promote blood flow. Try very gentle but continuous smaller circles. The other hand rests motionless below the buttocks with the thumb on the vulva entrance.Yoni massage clitoris

Entering the Cave

Once the receiver seems ready, ask permission to enter the yoni with your fingers. If the woman is not ready, skip this part. You want to make sure that she is wet and pleasured. A vaginal release massage can take at least 20 to 30 minutes and can be a very emotional journey for the receiver.Vagina massage entering the Cave

  1. With your middle finger, enter the yoni slowly.
  2. Ask the receiver to squeeze her vaginal muscles and then relax them. During the relaxation phase, your finger should be able to slide in naturally. Repeat the process a few times until your finger is entirely inside. Stay there without moving for a few minutes.
  3. Then you can slide your finger clockwise from the entrance towards the inside, exploring the walls of her vagina.
  4. Try to find certain spots which seem tense. Massage them all out. Often, there are some numb spots in a woman’s vagina, which is a sign of emotional tension. Bring awareness to these spots and discover together what’s behind the numbness.
  5. If there is pain, breathe together to release it. The giver should always make sure the belly still is very soft and not contracted.

Learn more about Yoni Massage

If you would like to take a step further, I have two good books for you. First, you can read “Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy” by Michaela Riedl, which has many exercises to cleanse and stimulate the chakras.

I also recommend “Tao Tantric Arts for Women: Cultivating Sexual Energy, Love, and Spirit” by Minke de Vos and Mantak Chia. You will learn how to awaken a woman’s sex energy and heal from emotional, sexual trauma, and chronic conditions.

Lastly, Let go of Expectations and Enjoy the Massage.

The giver should always combine different vaginal massage techniques again and again. Change pressures, speed, and intensity to stimulate the entire vagina. There’s no right or wrong, good or bad, as long as the receiver benefits from the Tantric yoni massage and the giver enjoys the process.

When you give and receive a yoni massage for healing trauma, it’s essential to let go of expectations. The orgasm is not a goal of the sensual massage, but not avoided either. Often, when the vagina is aroused by pressure and stretching, the receiver will find they can no longer prevent intense orgasms.

If that is the case, it’s important to breathe and push your pelvis high up.

A yoni massage therapy can have a completely different effect each time. Sometimes it brings relaxation after an intense day at work, and sometimes it brings a lot of emotions and a stream of tears. For this reason, you will want to experience a Tantra yoni massage time and time again.

Thanks for reading my yoni massage tutorial!


PS, to learn more, I can recommend our articles about Tantra massage, Tantric sexology, sex and mindfulness, tantric lingam massage, spiritual masturbation, and tantric yoga for beginners.

Hakima Tantrika
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