When I first laid eyes on Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle, I’ll admit, I was a bit hesitant. Would a dildo shaped like a squid’s tentacle get me off? I have tried other fantasy dildos before, but never one shaped like this. But I decided to buy it anyway to give it a try, and boy, am I glad that I did. The Taintacle gave me an experience unlike any other toy I’ve ever owned before. Keep reading to see if it hits your sweet spot too!
I was thoroughly impressed with this toy. I love how it’s able to fill me up and how the sensations change depending on how I position it. Plus, the option to use either the suction cup side or the flat side makes it really versatile. I’ve had so much fun experimenting with this toy in different ways. Compared to some of Hankey’s other Sci-Fi sex toys, the Taintacle is not as intense, which makes it an excellent option for those who want to try this type of fantasy play without diving into extreme shapes, sizes, or textures straight away. If you’re new to tentacle play or looking for a versatile and satisfying toy, you should try the Taintacle.
Who should try it? While I wouldn’t recommend it for absolute beginners to fantasy dildos, the Taintacle is perfect for those with some experience, new to tentacle play, as well as more experienced folks who want to enjoy intense stretching and textural penetration while exploring their deepest hentai fantasies.
Who is this not for? If you have never really used larger fantasy dildos before, the sensations you receive from the Taintacle may feel overwhelming. I would recommend starting with a more budget and user-friendly option such as Uberrime Teuthida.
You Can Buy It on the official Mr. Hankey website for $114.95.
Table Of Contents
What is Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle?
The aptly named Taintacle is a dildo shaped like a squid’s tentacle. It’s a unique dildo inspired by Japanese tentacle erotica. For the uninitiated, tentacle play is a type of porn commonly found in Japan, involving tentacled creatures having sex with people. Mr Hankeys Toys Taintacle is curved like the letter S and comes in three sizes (Small, LG/XL, and XXL Size).
Like a real tentacle, it is covered in bumps and suckers, making it the perfect choice for those looking for something beyond the ordinary, which combines fantasy and function. It’s great for anal or vaginal play, alone or with a partner. With a gradual taper, it’s especially great for those just starting out or more experienced players looking for a fulfilling stretch!
First Impressions and Features
Unboxing
The Taintacle comes wrapped in plain clear plastic (image below), so as soon as it came out of the box, I could see the vibrant, deep green colored tentacle. I didn’t mind this because it got me excited just looking at its unique shape and texture. Once I tore off the plastic, the surface felt squidgier, giving me an oddly satisfying feeling just running my fingers up and down the toy.
Features
- S-shaped design for optimal anal stimulation.
- Made of high-quality, body-safe silicone.
- Textured surface with ridges and suckers for added pleasure.
- Available in multiple colors and sizes to suit individual preferences.
- Can be custom-ordered
- Gradual taper for comfortable insertion and fulfilling stretch
- Compatible with water-based and silicone-based lubricants.
- Discreet shipping and packaging.
- Handcrafted for quality assurance.
- Compatible with Vac-U-Lock harnesses or fuck machines for versatile play
Specifications
- Circumference near head (rim): 2.00″ (5.08 cm)
- Circumference near middle: 6.00″ (15.24 cm)
- Circumference near base: 7.00″ (17.78 cm)
- Overall length: 9.00″ (22.86 cm)
- Insertable length: 8.00″ (20.32 cm)
- Material: Premium Silicone
- Color: Metallic green
How to Use Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle?
- First things first, find a nice comfortable spot and some good lube.
- Apply the lube generously to the toy and your desired hole (you might require more than your typical toy).
- Slowly insert the Taintacle and let it work its magic with those deliciously textured suckers and ridges.
- Experiment with different angles and thrusts until you hit that sweet spot.
- And, of course, don’t forget to clean it thoroughly after use!
My Personal Experience
Apart from the fact that I was pleasantly surprised by it, what I love most about the Taintacle is its versatility. The design provides a nice introduction to those new to tentacle play and much satisfaction to those committed to serious fucking. It’s not just a novelty toy – it’s a marked tool for pleasure.
I only managed to get about half of it in the back, but it was immensely satisfying. Believe me when I tell you I’m nowhere near done with it. To fully tap into the Taintacle’s potential, you’ll need patience, skill, and plenty of lube. On that note, many of us might say the same about other dicks in our lives who have come and gone!
Packaging
As you can see in the image below, there are not many bells and whistles when it comes to Mr. Hankey’s packaging. If you’re gifting it, you may want to add some extra pizzazz. The toy arrived in clear shrink wrap that covered the entire length of the Sci-Fi dildo. It was almost as if the designers wanted their customers to get excited at the sight of their product as soon as possible, so they didn’t even bother with any other packaging.
As I gazed at my Taintacle by Mr. Hankey, I could see why. Once I carefully unwrapped it, I found that it also came with a small sticker with Mr. Hankey’s logo. I was not sure what else to do with it, so I put it on my laptop. Sometimes work in coffee shops, and I figured it might help to attract like-minded people. If you know, you know.
Build Quality
I have been a fan of Hankey’s toys for a while, and they never disappoint, even after countless uses. As I continued to explore this magnificent creation, I felt a stirring deep within me. I could tell this tentacle dildo can withstand all sorts of play. The weight and heft in my hand were a testament to the quality. Every curve and bump felt was designed to provide maximum pleasure and satisfy my deepest desires.
Design
The design is pretty wild, with all these crazy ridges and suckers all over it (image below). But here’s the catch: the bumps and grooves that make it feel so good can also harbor some bacteria, so you should be careful when cleaning it. Luckily, it’s easy to do – you can even boil it!
It is also available in a variety of colors to suit all preferences. From traditional skin tones to bright and bold hues, there’s a Taintacle for everyone. And, if you’re feeling more adventurous, you can contact Hankeys for a custom order. I will come out and say that I have had some OctoPuss fantasies before, that’s why I ordered mine in Metallic green to match my vision. Just looking at it got me feeling all tingly!
Materials
It was hard not to appreciate the Taintacle’s high-grade silicone as I ran my fingers over it. No one can change my mind that silicone dildos are simply the best! The squidgy feeling was oddly satisfying even before I started playing with it. It’s the sort of material you can trust to get the job done without worrying about toxicity, plus it has no noticeable odor. And let’s face it, who wants a flimsy, cheap toy near their intimate areas?
Against my skin, the smooth and velvety texture felt incredible, making me eager to experience it inside! Also, thanks to its non-porous surface, cleaning, and maintenance were a breeze.
You can learn more about the sex toy materials in this guide.
Ease of Use
Even though it looked intimidating, I was pleasantly surprised by how easy the Taintacle was to handle. The pointy tip definitely helped with insertion, but I also had to be careful not to get carried away with it – this tentacle means business! The gradual taper allowed for a comfortable stretch, and I found that the texture actually helped me grip and maneuver the toy. Once I got it to a comfortable depth, I never felt like I was struggling to keep it in place.
Stimulations
As I started using the Taintacle, I felt every curve, suction cups, and bulge up front, and I eagerly explored each one. The contouring near the bottom caught my attention – it provided a level of stimulation I had never experienced before. And while I could hilt the toy, I could only take about half of it in the back. This is an advanced toy requiring patience and plenty of lube for anal sex! (If suction cup dildos interest you, click here to see our comprehensive list)
Versatility
I was pleasantly surprised that this little (big) guy is just as good for vagina as anus penetration. No awkward positioning is required! With the smaller size and sturdiness, it was easy to prop up or hold, making it a perfect companion for solo play.
The only downside is that it doesn’t come with a vac-u-lock, which just means I got to work my way up to a bigger size so I can use it with a partner and a strap-on (challenge accepted).
Firmness
I opted for the small size but decided to go with the medium firmness option because, in my experience, smaller toys tend to feel softer than their larger counterparts. And I was right – the Taintacle struck a perfect balance for me, providing enough firmness for easy penetration but still soft enough to feel comfortable. Compared with the Dragon Dildo’s medium firm option, I found it softer and more flexible while maintaining its integrity during ruff play.
Texture
The texture of the Taintacle is definitely something to write home about. It’s not quite as intense as the Hankey’s Dragon dildo, but it’s certainly not lacking in that department. The swirls and bumps provide a unique sensation that’s both stimulating and comfortable at the same time. It’s not so intense that you’ll be clenching your teeth and bracing yourself, but it’s enough to make things interesting.
Size
At 9 inches, compared to some of Hankey’s other toys, the Taintacle in small is actually on the tiny end of the spectrum. It’s what I refer to as the Gol-dildo-locks zone, small enough to be manageable for most but still substantial enough to satisfy those who crave a little more length. The tapered design makes handling it easier, and the S-curve design is a perfect fit for those hard-to-reach places.
While I may not be ready to tackle the XL size just yet, I can see the firm option being ideal for those who enjoy fisting or even fist-fighting simulations. And unlike many top-heavy toys, the Taintacle stays upright and doesn’t topple over during use, even in those larger sizes. We talk more about choosing the best dildo size in this article if you’re interested in knowing more.
Minor issues I found during testing
It takes skill and caution to maneuver the Taintacle because of its unusual shape. The S-curve design is better suited for the p-spot, and although I still loved using it vaginally, it took a bit more effort to get it in the right position and angle for maximum pleasure. The size is clearly not for absolute beginners, but if you’ve had a bit of experience, you could definitely give it a go. Alternatively, you can opt for small dildos in the meantime if you like.
While the gradual tapering provides a filling stretch, it requires a lot of patience and plenty of lube to make it comfortable. It’s not the type of toy you can just insert and go – it takes time and experience to enjoy fully.
If you want to see what Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle looks like and how to use it, please watch our unboxing and demonstration video below:
Review Summary
| Packaging |  |
| Build Quality |  |
| Design |  |
| Material |  |
| Ease Of Use |  |
| Stimulations |  |
| Versatility | |
| Firmness |  |
| Size | |
| Final Rating | |
Pros
- Constructed from high-quality platinum silicone
- S-curve shape designed for anal play
- Unique and interesting design
- Multiple size and color options catering to different preferences
- suited for both vaginal and anal penetration
Cons
- Texture requires extra care when cleaning
- Might not be beginner-friendly due to size and shape
- Can be pricier than other types of toys.
How does it stack up against the competition?
The Taintacle stands out for its pointed tip, dual-stimulation potential, and slithering S-shape design. The Ika is the most affordable option for gentler stretching sensation, while the Sigmaloid and the Teuthida offer more user-friendly sizes and textures, with the Sigmaloid’s finger-like design being particularly suitable for depth play and the Teuthida’s moderate suckers adding some intrigue.
Who Is This For?
If you’re new to exploring the fantasy realm but already have some experience with stretching, the Taintacle is a great option to start. The various size and firmness options make it a manageable challenge. For those who own a similar product like the Hankey’s Sigmaloid, the Taintacle’s substantial proportions provide a more filling sensation, making it a worthy upgrade. And, if you’re feeling torn between something similar, like the Bad Dragon Ika, the Taintacle’s unique S-curve silicone makes it a more exciting and intense option for those looking to push their limits. (Check out our best alien dildo article, which looks relatively close to the Sci-Fi dildos mentioned above)
Who Is This Not For?
The Taintacle is a challenging and intense toy, so it may not be for you if you aren’t comfortable with larger toys or prefer something with a simpler and more traditional design (we have an article that talks about the most realistic dildos, if you prefer them instead of fantasy ones).
How to Clean Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle?
- First, rinse the toy under warm running water to remove any surface debris.
- Next, apply a generous amount of mild soap or toy cleaner to the toy and lather it up.
- Pay special attention to the ridges and suckers on the toy, as these areas can harbor bacteria. I use a soft-bristled brush to scrub these gently.
- Remove all soap residue by rinsing the toy thoroughly under warm water.
- Dry the toy with a clean, lint-free towel, or let it air dry completely before storing.
Make sure to check our thorough guide for sex toy cleaning here.
I am Sold! Where Can I Buy It?
You can purchase the Taintacle on the official Mr. Hankey’s website, as well as other online adult retailers like Uberkinky. Just be sure to read reviews before purchasing to check the product’s authenticity.
Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle Alternatives
In this chapter, you can see a comparison table and shorter reviews of alternative products we tested. As you can see, each row has the test criteria our team used during the testing. To make our testing process even more transparent, we also included the raw test data so you can see how the products performed with each test criteria.
|  |  |  |
|
| Name | Taintacle | Ika | Sigmaloid | Teuthida |
| Average Rating | 95% | 93% | 92% | 90% |
| Design | 96% | 91% | 95% | 94% |
| Size | 94% | 92% | 93% | 91% |
| Special Features | 93% | 90% | 89% | 92% |
| User Experience | 97% | 89% | 94% | 93% |
| Price & Value | 94% | 88% | 92% | 90% |
| Price Tag | $114.95 | $120 | $65.95 | $89 |
| Material | Silicone | Silicone | Silicone | Silicone |
| Circumference | 2 inches - 7 inches | 4.5 inches – 11.5 inches | 3.75 inches – 6 inches | 5.29 inches |
| Insertable Length | 8 inches | 5.25 inches – 12 inches | 8.25 inches – 13 inches | 7 inches |
Bad Dragon Ika
I was impressed by the level of customization available in the Bad Dragon Ika. With five sizes running smaller than the Taintacle and three firmness options, the Ika is affordable for those who want to try a tentacle dildo without breaking the bank. While it doesn’t have the same S-curve as the Taintacle, the gradual widening from the pointed head to the girthy base makes for a gentle stretching sensation during use.
So, for someone new to tentacle dildos, the Ika might be a good place to start, while the Taintacle is better suited for those who are more experienced and looking for a larger, more challenging toy. You can find more Bad Dragon dildos in this article.
Hankey’s Sigmaloid
While the Taintacle offers a more substantial size, Sigmaloid’s finger-like design and tapering make it perfect for those who want to explore fantasy dildos with a more user-friendly circumference. The Sigmaloid’s long, slim shaft is perfect for exploring depth play without much warm-up.
Although the Sigmaloid is more affordable than the Taintacle, it may not offer the same level of stimulation for those looking for a more intense experience. However, its width and different texture styles make it a great option for beginners or those who prefer a more comfortable fit.
Uberrime Teuthida
The Teuthida’s two rows of moderate suckers on the front and gentle horizontal texture, while lacking the Taintacle’s strong feel, nonetheless lend some intrigue to intimate play. Plus, with its affordable price tag of $89, it’s a great option for beginners and intermediate fantasy dildo users. The 0050 density of the dildo also makes it novice-friendly because it is pliable and easy to bend without collapsing.
And, for experienced anal play fans, the tapered design and flared base favor P-spot stimulation and anal stretching. So, if you’re looking for a tentacle dildo that’s gentle yet thrilling, the Uberrime Teuthida might be your perfect match.
Do you want more options? We have an article with more monster adult toy reviews.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How to store Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle
Keep your Taintacle stored in a safe and clean location, just not in intense direct heat. If you’re so inclined, you could use it as a conversation piece for your bookshelf!
You can read more about how to store your dildos here.
How much does it cost?
Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle starts at $114.95, with additional costs for larger sizes and customizations.
What lube to use?
While you can use silicone-based lube with the Taintacle, I recommend sticking with water-based ones for a better and healthier experience.
What warranties are available
Due to the nature of the product, Mr. Hankeys Toys Taintacle does not have a return policy unless it’s defective, so pay close attention to the dimensions and ask any questions before ordering.
Did Mr. Hankey’s Taintacleship discretely?
Mr. Hankeys Toys Taintacle arrived at my doorstep in plain packaging without any indication of the naughty treasure hidden inside, so you do not need to worry about nosy neighbors or delivery personnel.
Can you use it anally?
You can use the Taintacle for both vaginal and anal penetration, but its unique S-curve is designed to make anal play more enjoyable and comfortable. (If you want broader options, check out the best anal dildos we recommend.)
Thanks for reading my Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle review!
Sandra
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