Shopping for a monster dildo can be tricky. The massive size can be unforgiving, making it essential to understand the actual length and girth before making the purchase decision. So which of the many models and brands should I buy?
No sweat! After testing dozens of products we firmly believe Mr. Hankey’s Dragon is the highest-rated monster dildo. Its distinctive and fantasy-themed design makes it perfect for people who love intensely textured creature sex toys. The attention to detail is awe-inspiring, and the sheer size is imposing. I’m not one to be intimidated, but the size, texture, and craftsmanship were overwhelming.
Test Winner: Mr. Hankey’s Dragon
Mr. Hankey’s Dragon got the highest rating in our review. The intricately designed sex toy is large and ‘animated,’ making it perfect for people who love fantastical designs. Something else that stood out during the review was the attention to detail.
Tentacle: Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle
Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle is our preferred tentacle monster dildo. The unique texture with stimulating suckers on the topside highlighted the attention to detail. The tapered tip made penetration more straightforward, even for beginners.
Budget: Uberrime Teuthida
Teuthida didn’t disappoint with its realism and raw pleasure. It has a unique texture, with two rows of suckers on its front and another horizontal pattern of ridges on the sides. It also provided the most value for money among the tested models.
Table Of Contents
- Why You Should Trust Us
- How We Picked the Products
- Everything We Tested
- 1. Mr. Hankey’s Dragon: Our Overall Test Winner!
- 2. Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle: Tentacle Monster Dildo
- 3. Uberrime Teuthida: Our Budget Pick
- 4. Mr. Hankey’s Sigmaloid: For Anal Play!
- 5. Lovense Sex Machine: Monster Machine Dildo
- 6. Mr. Hankey’s Davy’s Tendrils: Monster Strap-On
- Other Good Alternatives
- What is a Monster Dildo?
- Types of Monster Dildos
- How to Use a Monster Dildo?
- How to Clean a Monster Dildo?
- I am Sold! Where Can I Buy Them?
- Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
- Primary Sources
Why You Should Trust Us
The ladies at My Sex Toy Guide have tested over 300+ sex toys, including monster dildos. Combining experience and expertise from the team of sex experts was crucial for this article. Sandra Larson and the team personally tested dozens of products with our reader’s needs in mind.
Even though this review is as comprehensive as it gets, we’re still open to hearing from our readers who’d like to share their stories and thoughts, which could be included in this list. So, if you have any questions or suggestions, don’t hesitate to reach out. You can call Sandra at +1 307-372-3895 or send an email to [email protected]
How We Picked the Products
Before distributing the carefully selected monster dildos, I briefed the team on essential test criteria that we could measure on a scale from 0 to 100. We worked to ensure the top picks reflected our reader’s sexual needs and preferences. Some of the criteria include the following:
- Design. Like other sex toys, there are numerous fantasy monster dildo designs and shapes. We included different shapes to give you many options for the dream monster sex toy.
- Size. Like the design, what works for you might not work for me. For this reason, I advised the team to focus on brands with multiple-size toys to pick the one that meets your experience.
- Firmness. Most monster dildos are designed to mimic mythical creatures like dragons and aliens or an ogre penis. Unfortunately, these creatures are associated with a degree of ‘difficulty’ and ‘brutality’ better suited for experienced folks. The team prioritized models with a variation in the firmness degree so you can choose between squishy and solid densities for maximum comfort.
- Build Quality. We only reviewed monster dildos made from body-safe silicone. Materials like rubber and other porous materials were strictly prohibited in the initial selection phase.
- Stimulation. The diverse selection included motorized options like sex machines and vibrating dildos. We also added unique toys like anal play models and tongue models. After all, tastes and preferences defer from one user to the other, and My Sex Toy Guide’s aim throughout the self-testing exercise was to match your sexual needs with the largest products we could find.
- Controls. Besides picking smaller-sized models to enhance handling for people with small hands, I recommended the team prioritize monster dildos with suction cup bases or provisions for the same. And for the motorized models, an intuitive control interface or remote control was a must-have.
- Price. Lastly, the team paid attention to the prices in relation to the build quality, design, size, and stimulations. The top picks embraced value for money. However, we included some of the best bargains for beginners on a budget looking to explore monster dildos without breaking the bank.
During testing, we rated each test criterion on a percentage scale from 0% (Worst) to 100% (Best). We then calculated the overall score using different weighted metrics depending on the importance of the test criteria. Half the total rating comes from Stimulations (25%) and Design (25%). After that comes Size (10%), Controls (10%), and Price (10%).
The entire exercise took about 25 days. Once the self-testing was done, my colleagues helped me analyze the findings. We handpicked the similarities from the reports and compared them to the organic user reviews. And from the rigorous and collaborative effort, we believe these are this year’s best monster dildos!
Everything We Tested
In this chapter, you can see a comparison table with all the products we tested. As you can see, each row has the test criteria our team used during the testing. To make our testing process even more transparent, we also included the raw test data so you can see how the products performed with each test criteria.
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| Name | Dragon | Taintacle | Teuthida | Sigmaloid | Lovense | Davy’s |
| Category | Best Overall | Tentacle | Cheap | Anal | Machine | Strap-On |
| Average Rating | 96% | 94% | 93% | 94% | 91% | 92% |
| Design | 95% | 92% | 94% | 90% | 97% | 92% |
| Size | 96% | 94% | 91% | 94% | 84% | 92% |
| Density | 95% | 93% | 92% | 93% | 92% | 93% |
| Build Quality | 94% | 93% | 93% | 94% | 94% | 92% |
| Special Features | 96% | 92% | 95% | 92% | 94% | 92% |
| Control | 94% | 94% | 89% | 86% | 94% | 97% |
| Price & Value | 94% | 91% | 95% | 90% | 93% | 89% |
| Price Tag | $129.95 | $114.95 | $89 | $65.95 | $699.00 | $65.95 |
| Material | Silicone | Silicone | Silicone | Silicone | Stainless Steel | Silicone |
| Circumference | 7.5 inches - 12.75 inches | 6 inches - 10.50 inches | 5.29 inches | 3.5 inches – 6 inches | N/A | 4.25 inches – 8.25 inches |
| Insertable Length | 8.5 inches - 14 inches | 8 inches - 14 inches | 7 inches | 8.25 inches – 13 inches | 5.43 – 6.3 inches | 7.25 inches – 14 inches |
1. Mr. Hankey’s Dragon: Our Overall Test Winner!
Why we like Mr. Hankey’s Dragon:
Mr. Hankey’s Dragon is our favorite monster cock dildo and one of the best dildos we reviewed. The intricately designed sex toy is large and ‘animated’, making it perfect for people who love fantastical designs. Something that stood out during the review was the attention to detail. The textured grooves give the dildo a realistic look, which you can see in the image above. I was thrilled to explore the nubs and ridges whose height and width varied as you moved toward the base.
The enormous ridge around the middle had a small, pointy nub that slithered against the sensitive front wall, sparking an exciting blend of sensations. On the other hand, as you can see in the image below, the ridges down the back were gentle on the vaginal walls and provided a much-needed calm feeling to the thrusting. I enjoyed the sensation whenever I pressed the Dragon fiercer. In addition, pressing it against the vagina’s back wall allowed me to take in more length, and the broad tip meant the G-spot had nowhere to hide.
Note: Removing the Dragon was an experience in itself. Pulling it off required a good balance of pelvic muscle coordination and effort.
Mr. Hankey’s Dragon was intimidating. I chose the medium size, and the sheer size was astounding. There’s a small size for beginners, but it’s still substantial – pay attention to the measurements before buying the Dragon. It doesn’t come cheap anyway. If you’ve used entry-level monster dildos before and want to upgrade to something more significant, the Dragon dildo is your best bet. The more pronounced, realistic texture and elongated size offer a new adventure full of surprises.
The testers also noted the attachment hole option that lets you unlock many possibilities, including hands-free use with a suction hole and utilizing Vac-U-Lock compatible sex machines and accessories. Like most products on this list, you can choose between the medium-firm and 75% density. I opted for the medium-firm variant because it perfectly balanced squishiness and erectness. (You can see me testing the firmness in the below image).
Surprisingly, the Dragon feels delightful to hold and run my hands through, with a texture softer than other silicone toys.
Minor issues we found during testing:
Using the Dragon comes with its fair share of challenges. The bulbous head was thick, and the coronal ridge was more defined. I needed more lube and patience with the Bad Dragon than with other dildos.
People who prefer smoother and more traditional textures will find Mr. Hankey’s Dragon intimidating. Even the smallest size is nearly 10 inches long, so pick the ideal size with your experience and comfort in mind. If you’re not comfortable with that, you can explore smaller dildos, to begin with.
Lastly, people who prefer intense thrusting will have to look elsewhere. The ultra-textured design is better enjoyed with slow and well-calculated thrusts.
Why Mr. Hankey’s Dragon is our overall test winner:
- Design: The textured grooves handily handily beat the competition. Full stop. The attention to detail in crafting the texture was evident with the pronounced scales on the top and bottom surface of the shaft and the sophisticated snakeskin on the sides.
- Build Quality: Something else that stood out during the testing was the intimidating factor. Mr. Hankey’s Dragon was a sight to behold, with bespoke levels of craftsmanship and detail. It’s made from premium silicone, a durable, flexible, and easy-to-clean material.
If you want to see what Mr. Hankey’s Dragon Dildo looks like and how to use it, please watch our unboxing and demonstration video below:
You can read our Mr. Hankey’s Toys Dragon dildo review here.
Features:
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable Length: 8.5″ – 14″
- Circumference: 7.5″ – 12.75″
Pros:
- Dragon-inspired design with realistic snakeskin texture.
- Ideal for imaginative play fans.
- Different sizes and firmness degrees.
- Thick base for easy handling.
- Vac-U-Lock compatible.
- Multiple size options.
Cons:
- It didn’t come with a bag for storage.
- The detailed textures make cleaning complicated.
2. Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle: Tentacle Monster Dildo
Why we love Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle:
Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle is our favorite monster tentacle dildo. The unique texture with stimulating suckers on the topside highlighted the attention to detail. Unlike Mr. Hankey’s Dragon, it has a ‘friendlier’ design for penetration. The tapered tip (image above) made penetration more straightforward, even for people who are new to this niche.
The reviewers loved how the tentacle suckers made Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle versatile. Besides rubbing against the vaginal walls during G-spot stimulation, the suckers aided clit massage. I have a sensitive clit, and rubbing the topside (zoomed in the image below) against it felt amazing.
I tested with medium firmness, but some of my colleagues used 75% for comparison. The medium density is much easier to use because of the balance between firmness and squishiness. The 75% softness, on the other hand, was overly soft, and penetration took more time and effort.
People with sensitive G-spots or clits will enjoy the squishy model. Personally, the medium-firmness option was more impactful. I don’t mind the little bitty stiffness; the simplified penetration experience was a bonus. Unlike most monster dildos, Mr. Hankey Taintacle had a tapered design. Besides simplifying penetration, the fantasy-themed dildo promoted a gentle stretching experience.
Something else that was exciting about this hardcore monster dildo was the dynamism. It’s available in three sizes and two firmness options. In addition, you can add a Vac-U-Lock attachment hole.
Minor issues we found during testing:
The protruding suckers can be unforgiving, especially for folks with ultra-sensitive bits. I recommend the 75% softness model if you can’t have the heat.
I used the large variant, which felt heavy whenever I used it for more than three minutes. The Vac-U-Lock compatibility was helpful because I used Taintacle with a sex machine and suction cup base. However, the small and XXL sizes don’t have the feature, so people who use them must contend with a sore forearm.
Why Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle is the best monster dildo:
- Design: Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle’s blend of suckers and contours makes it a versatile pick for G-spot and clit stimulation fans. Its exciting S-shaped design, well-thought-out texture, and dynamic build beat the competition in this critical category.
- Control: The tapered build with a tapered tip and graduating size simplified penetration, and the testers ranked Tainticle as the easiest dildo to use. Unlike stocky models like Mr. Hankey’s Dragon, slithering Taintacle through the vagina was straightforward.
If you want to see what Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle looks like and how to use it, please watch our unboxing and demonstration video below:
You can read our Mr. Hankey’s Taintacle review here.
Features:
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable Length: 8″ – 14″
- Circumference: 6″ – 10.50″
Pros:
- Outstanding design.
- The tapered design enhances the gentle stretching experience.
- Sensual suckers were incredibly stimulating.
- The S-shaped design makes penetration easy.
- Multiple sizes and firmness options.
- The Vac-U-Lock hole opens your world to new possibilities.
Cons:
- Using Taintacle without a sex machine or suction cup was challenging.
- The suckers make cleaning tiresome.
3. Uberrime Teuthida: Our Budget Pick
Why we love Uberrime Teuthida:
The Uberrime lineup doesn’t disappoint with the tinge of realism and raw pleasure. Uberrime Teuthida has a unique texture, with two rows of suckers on its front and another horizontal pattern of subtle ridges on the sides. Most importantly, the immaculately designed monster dildo provided the best value for money among the models we tested.
The affordable Teuthida is perfect for a beginner or anyone looking to explore the wild side of the monster niche without breaking the bank. It only costs $89, a massive bargain for the glorious Teuthida.
People who enjoy prominent texture will find solace in Uberrime Teuthida. The testers also noted that it has one of the thinnest tips among the review samples, creating the foundation for a gentle stretching experience. It starts at less than an inch (diameter), finishing at a whopping 2.07″ at the widest. And with a 7″ insertable length, most users will find the sensations sufficient.
Note: While pricier ($109), you can get a larger model of the aqua dildo if you want more length and girth. It’s 2.08″ at the widest section and an impressive 8″ usable length.
Of course, I came across cheaper models, but Teuthida gave us better value for our hard-earned cash. The premium silicone felt exotic and the defined suckers made it perfect for internal and external stimulation. And for less than $100, Teuthida is cheap.
Lastly, the handmade Teuthida has a very soft and squishy 0050 density, which makes penetration much of a daunting task.
Pro Tip: Teuthida is compatible with most standard harnesses so you can use it with your partner for pegging. Of course, penetrating the ass is difficult, and you’ll need to push the tip through with a finger.
Minor issues we found during testing:
Unfortunately, the 0050 density is negative. I thought it was too squishy and had to force it into the vagina with a finger. Like other handmade sex toys, expect slight variations from the product images.
Why Uberrime Teuthida is our budget pick:
- Price: Uberrime Teuthida provided us with the most value for our money among the review samples. It only costs $89, a largely affordable figure for such an incredibly-made piece.
- Design: The varying textures stood out. The two rows of suckers on its front and ridges on the sides provide a great balance between realism and adventure.
Features:
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable Length: 7″ – 8″
- Diameter: 2.07″ – 2.08″
Pros:
- Varying textures enhance the experience.
- The suckers make Teuthida perfect for external and internal stimulation.
- Two sizes to choose from.
- Ideal for people with a sensitive clit or G-spot.
Cons:
- The density might be too squishy for people who prefer intense texture.
4. Mr. Hankey’s Sigmaloid: For Anal Play!
Why we love Mr. Hankey’s Sigmaloid:
Mr. Hankey’s Sigmaloid is our preferred model for anal play. Everything from the tapered design to the tapered tip makes it easy to slide through the ass. Unlike most fantasy dildos, beginners can use the smaller version of the Sigmaloid.
The serpent-like Sigmaloid offers a formidable challenge for anal sex lovers. Some reviewers described the small bulb on the tapered head as a challenge, but I’d only say it added to the thrill. It felt like a mini obstacle in the way of anal stimulation bliss – and I couldn’t wait to get over it.
As many anal sex fans would wish for, Mr. Hankey’s Sigmaloid body gradually widens as you move towards the base for a gradual stretch. Nobody wants a uniformly thin dildo anyway. No? I was hesitant to dive in initially because of the veined walls, but the intimidation factor turned out to be a smoke screen.
The designer’s brilliance took the review team away. The multiple textures, including bumps and nodes, made anal stimulation thrilling. It even had a classic raphe with four knots spanning throughout its length. ” Mr. Hankey’s Sigmaloid was an exciting anal sex toy. I didn’t know whether to be scared or excited at first, but the brilliant design and texture variance made the experience exquisite,” one of the testers emphasized.
The extended, slim shaft is ideal for depth play fans. The smallest starts at 3.5″ circumference and 8″ usable length, good measurements for most users. Most importantly, the tapered design means you won’t need much warming up – just a generous water-based lube, and you’re good.
Minor issues we found during testing:
Beginners might have problems with insertion because of the node at the tip. Luckily, it’s only problematic around the pronounced head. Once you slither the tapered head through, achieving depth play with Mr. Hankey’s Sigmaloid is cake.
Experienced folks will find the Sigmaloid underwhelming. And especially girth play fanatics, the 6″ circumference might be insufficient.
Why Mr. Hankey’s Sigmaloid is the best for anal:
- Design: The finger-like build was better than the other models we tested. In addition, the tapering made it beginner-friendly and promoted a gentle anal stretching experience.
- Size: Its availability in three sizes was a massive plus to its practicality rating. Whether you’re a newbie, medium, or experienced user, the intriguing Sigmaloid has something for everyone.
- Controls: The testers highlighted the slim build that was unlike the other models. We found it extremely easy to hold it with our palms, even with lubed-up hands.
You can find more anal dildos in this article.
Features:
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable Length: 8.25″ – 13″
- Circumference (near middle): 3.75″ – 6″
Pros:
- Interesting finger-like design.
- The tapered design enhances a gentle stretch.
- Its flexible shaft promotes precise stimulation.
- The Sigmaloid is Vac-U-Lock compatible.
- It’s available in three sizes and two firmness degrees.
- Cheap model – $65.95.
Cons:
- Experienced folks after girth play will find it underwhelming.
- The node beneath the tip complicates penetration.
5. Lovense Sex Machine: Monster Machine Dildo
Why we love Lovense Sex Machine:
The Lovense sex machine is our preferred thrusting monster machine dildo. Unlike its closest rival, Hismith, the fuck machine’s turbo gear motor is ultra-powerful. I don’t know about your sex machine history, but I doubt anyone will walk away from the experience wanting more.
Something that stood out during the review was the versatility. As you can see in the image below, the Lovense sex machine came with two adapters, making it easy for me to switch between my sex toy collection. And if the adapters weren’t enough, the sex machine is also Vac-U-Lock compatible, which was massively convenient because most of my dildos have a Vac-U-Lock attachment.
The testers also appreciated the dual-thrusting mechanism that made the sex machine stand out. I don’t know how many people will be head over heels for this, but my fiancé Jessica couldn’t wait to try it out. It took a while to set both rods up but enjoying synchronized thrusting power from both ends with her was worth the wait.
The hallmark of the review was the sex machine’s compatibility with the Lovense Remote app (screenshots below) – the top sex toy application. Besides simplifying control, the mobile app offered unique bells and whistles, including music sync and multiple customization options. In addition, the app made the mechanical monster dildo perfect for long-distance lovers because of the universal control.
The package included two silicone dildos with balls, differently sized, so you can switch between the two to match your sexual desire and experience. For some reason, the dildos looked and felt cheap, with a weird plasticky smell – a weird observation because they are made from silicone.
If you don’t feel like using the mobile app, the sex machine has a classic dial controller, which you can see in the image below. And while you won’t get half of the features in the mobile application, the simple controller lets you enjoy a quick dip into pleasure land without needing to connect to a Wi-Fi network.
Minor issues we noted found during testing:
Notably, the machine was loud and a bit unstable, with an annoying crackling noise when cranked to the highest setting. It brought back old washing machine vibes.
Unfortunately, the included dildos had a strong plasticky smell. In addition, they felt a bit poorly made, and you’ll have to use other monster dildos in your sex toy collection.
Assembly wasn’t a highlight of my experience with the Lovense sex machine. It took time, and the mandatory unscrewing and screwing of the steel rods to adjust the stroke length was borderline annoying.
Why Lovense Sex Machine is the best monster machine dildo:
- Design: The sex machine got the highest score on the design spectrum. The testers highlighted the importance of solid stainless steel bars. Unlike the hollow pipes used by other competitors, they’re firm and stable (97% test panel approval). In addition, the sex machine was the most powerful among the ones we reviewed.
- Control: The Lovense sex machine’s compatibility with the Lovense Remote app was impressive. The mobile application is the most effective on the market, and besides simplifying control, it opens your world to new possibilities. In addition, the package included a classic dial controller for a quick and easy thrusting experience.
- Build Quality: Versatility was a huge part of the experience. The designers ensured you get the highest quality while offering multiple play options with the two motors and Vac-U-Lock compatibility features
If you want to see what the Lovense Sex Machine looks like and how to use it, please watch our unboxing and demonstration video below:
Features:
- Material: Stainless Steel, Silicone
- Stroke Length: 4.5″
Pros:
- It’s compatible with the Lovense Remote app.
- The dial controller also simplifies control.
- Impressive solid stainless steel build.
- Unique dual thrusting mechanism.
- Versatile sex machine with two silicone dildos and adapters.
Cons:
- It’s more expensive than other sex machines we reviewed.
- Assembly and adjusting the stroke length can be annoying.
6. Mr. Hankey’s Davy’s Tendrils: Monster Strap-On
Why we love Mr. Hankey’s Davy’s Tendrils:
If you enjoy the thrills of strap-on sex, Mr. Hankey’s Davy’s Tendrils should be in your shopping cart ASAP. The exciting dildo has an octopus-like design with twisted arms that feel incredibly stimulating during thrusting. More importantly, Davy’s Tendrils (besides the XS size) has a Vac-U-Lock attachment hole so that you can use it with compatible sex machines and other devices. Even without the attachment, the flared base goes into most standard strap-on harnesses for thrilling pegging and lesbian sex.
The reviewers highlighted the exquisite feeling of the raised suckers and the intertwined octopus legs. I’m a fan of hasty thrusting, and other models on this list like Mr. Hankey’s Dragon were impossible to enjoy the bliss. However, Davy’s Tendrils was easy on me, and Jessica shared similar sentiments. Another observation from the test panel was the inviting slithering effect from the suckers. It felt like someone was tonguing me inside the vagina. Yeah. Probably impossible to comprehend, but that was how it felt for me.
The tapered design and slim tip makes it ideal for anal penetration. My male colleagues gave it a 97% average score, highlighting how the tapering simplified insertion and the intertwined design amplified P-spot stimulation. Like other fantasy toys, I went with the medium firmness, which didn’t disappoint. It was flexible enough, thus making it easy to manipulate the angles for precise stimulation. In addition, the suckers had a great firmness balance that aided internal stimulation without being harsh on my vaginal walls.
I enjoy twisting dildos from left to right in the vagina to get the undulating effect, and I couldn’t wait to try it with Mr. Hankey’s Davy’s Tendrils. It was unlike anything I’d experienced before. The combination of stimulating suckers and the intertwined arms created a unique feeling in the vagina – it felt like fingering with a dash of oral sex.
Minor issues we found during testing:
Unfortunately, the smallest size is not Vac-U-Lock compatible. And while others are, beginners will feel locked out from the strap-on experience. Your best course of action is to look for other dildos that are great for pegging.
Why Mr. Hankey’s Davy’s Tendrils is perfect for pegging:
- Control: Two size options are Vac-U-Lock compatible (97% average score). In addition, these sizes are SM/MD and MD/LG, the two most in-demand options. More importantly, the Vac-U-Lock attachment is compatible with all strap-ons with a 2.5″ – 3″ diameter.
- Design: The intertwined octopus arms were outstanding. And with the tapered design and rows of suckers on all individual shafts, internal stimulation felt incredibly stimulating.
Features:
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable Length: 7.25″ – 14″
- Circumference: 4.25″ – 8.25″
Pros:
- An ideal choice for strap-on sex.
- Unique intertwined design.
- The tapering enhances gentle stretching.
- Stimulating suckers make the toy ideal for clit and G-spot stimulation.
- Four sizes and two firmness degrees.
Cons:
- XS and XL sizes aren’t Vac-U-Lock compatible.
Other Good Alternatives
Lil’ Vibe Fusion Vibrating Monster Dildo. While it’s only available in one size, the bullet vibe’s motor churns out a series of vibration patterns for stimulating internal orgasms making it our recommended vibrating model. The fierce canine generates a good time with the press of a button, and the small dimensions make it perfect for different monster dildo fans. It also has a wired controller for simplified solo play and coupled sex. You can find more vibrating dildos here.
Creature Cocks Hell Kiss Tongue Dildo is a sight to behold. The wide girthy base grows into a set of tongues that twist into each other to form a tower. I loved the bendable shaft because it made it easy to manipulate the toy to achieve G-spot stimulation. And with a suction cup base, hands-free play fans will enjoy every bit of the riding experience.
Sinnovator Cthulhu is the biggest monster dildo we tested. The expertly handcrafted monster dildo features intricate details every fantasy dildo connoisseur will appreciate. I especially loved the ridged underside, raised veins, and frilled edges. More importantly, the versatile monster toy lets you customize it to your liking, including adding a Vac-U-Lock hole and double suction cup base. If want to see more big and thick dildos, make sure to check our dedicated review about it.
Mr. Hankey’s Alien Breeder‘s intricate texture makes it the best alien monster dildo. The base has a Piccaso-esque design with well-thought-out structures, while the topside is sleeky smooth. I was in awe at how rough yet endearing the texture was – certainly one of our favorites on this list. The Xenomorph-like ridges and grooves massage the vagina walls, leaving you speechless. I enjoy twisting and turning sex toys during testing, and the slithering feeling I had with this one was special.
Fusion Lil’ Squirt is our favorite squirting monster dildo. The syringe squirt mechanism excited testers because it was neat and easy to use. And while the syringe did get in the way during use, the ease of use was a worthy price to pay. The non-intimidating design, relatively short length, and smooth texture made it perfect for beginners. In addition, the bulbous body enhanced the pleasure, complementing the animated squirting mechanism. You can check out more squirting dildos in this review.
Cockadile Reptilian Creature Dildo. Made to look and feel like a new species of crocodile found in North America: the Cockadile is special. The scaly reptilian hide, smooth underbelly, and V-shaped tapered head stand out from the crowd. Basically, it’s a friendlier version of the famous Mr. Hankey’s Dragon. Thrusting it in and out felt incredible, and I’m sure monster toy fans will love it.
Minotaur Mythical Dildo. The Greek Legends describe it as “half bull, half human crossbreed,” a rare yet exciting offspring that’s a sight to behold. This is the best mythical dildo by a mile and its girthy shaft feels like a bellowing heifer ramming into your vagina.
What is a Monster Dildo?
A monster dildo is a giant phallic-shaped dong designed to mimic mythical creatures like aliens, dragons, and octopuses. As they are a bit on the larger side, they are more ideally suited for experienced folks looking to test their depth and girth play limits [1].
Types of Monster Dildos
Some of the common types of monster dildos include the following:
Dragon Dildos
Made to resemble a dragon dick, dragon sex toys are the most common type in this niche and have exciting designs meant to capture the wild thoughts of some of the most-acclaimed sex toy designers. You find more dragon dildos right here.
Alien Dildos
Like dragons, the Alien Dildos feature incredible designs mirrored against mythical creatures, Aliens. They’re available in multiple sizes and shapes to meet the ever-changing needs of the vast sex toy industry. You can find more alien dildos right here.
Tentacle Dildos
Constructed using high-quality materials and craftsmanship, tentacle dildos feature endless rows of suckers and undulating octopus arms. You can find more tentacle dildos right here.
Other types include zombies, werewolves, vampires, and unicorns.
How to Use a Monster Dildo?
Using a giant dildo is different from other dongs. Have lots of lube within your arm’s reach and train your vagina or ass to handle the massive toy.
Here’s how to use your monster dildo for maximum satisfaction.
How to Clean a Monster Dildo?
Cleaning your dildo before the first use and after every use is mandatory. Use clean water and mild antibacterial soap for deep cleaning. Rinse with clean water and leave it on a rack in a well-ventilated space for air drying [2].
Pro Tip: Use a lint-free cloth to absorb excess water if you don’t have air-drying time. For more information, here’s a more detailed article on how to clean your dildo.
I am Sold! Where Can I Buy Them?
Unfortunately, sex toy sale scams are among the most common online. Only buy dildos from official brand websites and authorized vendors to avoid being part of the statistics. Some of our preferred places to buy a monster dildo include the following:
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How to Make a Monster Dildo?
I recommend the Clone A Willy kit if you want to make a homemade monster dildo. The easy-to-use silicone cloning kit lets you use your favorite dildo or a partner’s penis to design a realistic monster dildo. And with an included bullet vibe, you can enjoy realism with a tinge of adventure.
What Lube Should I Use?
I recommend using a water-based lube with your dildo monster. And while most reviewers have trashed it for the light consistency, it’s easier to clean and won’t degrade the silicone material like silicone and oil-based lubes.
How to Train My Anal for Monster Dildo?
Getting yourself prepared for anal play is not a new concept. In fact, it helps simplify insertion and make the experience more pleasurable and less uncomfortable.
Start with your fingers and slowly insert them in the ass, gradually increasing the number of fingers. Introduce a sex toy or butt plug, sliding it in and out in intervals until the sphincter muscles are relaxed and ready for the big boy.
Primary Sources
1. Valens, A. Bad Dragon’s Kingdom of Fantasy Sex Toys Is Caged By ‘Queer’ Capitalism. The Daily Dot. (2021, May 20).
2. Dog, & Rooster. Adult Toy Store – FAQ | Hankey’s Toys. (n.d.).
Sandra
Medium | Reddit
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