Pegging can unlock a new layer of intimacy and trust in your relationship, challenging traditional dynamics and broadening the spectrum of pleasure. It can strengthen emotional bonds by demonstrating trust, respect, and a willingness to explore each other’s fantasies, further cementing the partnership’s foundation.
- For the receiving partner, pegging confronts societal taboos around masculinity and anal pleasure, requiring them to relinquish control and embrace a more submissive role. This inversion of traditional roles can be liberating, offering a new form of sexual expression and identity exploration.
- For the giving partner, assuming a more dominant role empowers and affirms their desires and agency in sexual activities. It allows them to pleasure their partner in a novel way, fostering a sense of competence and mutual satisfaction.
However, pegging is more advanced than traditional vanilla sex and must be done with great care and respect. To help you start your journey, our founders, Tim and Sandra, have compiled their best strategies in this comprehensive guide. It encompasses over 10 years of strap-on experience so you are in safe hands!
What is Pegging?
Pegging is a sex act where a person uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate their partner’s anus. Typically, it involves a woman penetrating a man, reversing traditional gender roles and dynamics in sexual activities. Pegging provides a whole new world of sexual stimulation for the receiver, especially prostate stimulation. It also offers exciting submissive role-play opportunities and female domination (i.e., Femdom).
Pegging Your Partner Safely In 8 Easy Steps
Pegging is an advanced sex act that should be done carefully and with respect. To help you get started, this chapter outlines eight steps for a safe and enjoyable experience. By prioritizing communication, preparation, and consent, you can confidently explore this intimate journey, deepening your connection and mutual pleasure.
1. Open communication
You and your partner must discuss the topic beforehand so everyone fully understands the pegging act. This step is especially important for pegging since anal play, especially among straight men, can cause discomfort and pain. Ensure that all partners give explicit consent to everything you are planning to do.
You should also keep communication lines open during the pegging session. Ask your partner if they are comfortable or want to stop. Open communication helps both of you relax and enjoy the experience. A safe word (e.g., red for stop, yellow for pause) or signal (e.g., drop a ball) can be helpful for a safer experience.
It also helps to discuss the experience after the deed is done. Share impressions to know what to improve the next time around. You can offer suggestions like trying other sex toys, lubes, or experimenting with other positions.
2. Get Comfortable
How to get your partner comfortable with anal play? The best strategy is to let him explore it on his own. For example, you can buy him a small dildo that he can use alone when he masturbates. This simple trick allow him to explore anal stimulation using his own pace.
You can offer him a prostate massage when he is comfortable doing anal solo. Use a lot of lubrication to avoid discomfort, or better yet, use latex gloves. You can find many sex toys designed for prostate massages, like LELO Loki Wave and Lovense Edge 2.
3. Shop for a sex toy together
I recommend that you shop for a strap-on together. Not only does it make everyone feel included in the process, but it’s also an excellent foreplay that will get you excited about the future pegging session.
Please only buy sex toys made from non-porous, body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Avoid anything made from jelly or other porous materials. Some people also have latex allergies so take that into account.
After you agree on what strap-on to buy, it’s time to look for a proper lube. Water-based is typically the best option since most toys today are silicone, but you can use silicone-based if you have other materials (such as glass).
If you’re unsure what strap-on to buy, I recommend this harness kit from Lovehoney. It comes with a 5″ dildo and fits beginners and experienced people alike. We had ours for a year now, and it’s been a lot of fun! (Review here.)
4. Try it solo first!
Before our first pegging session, I tried the harness alone first. I wanted to know what it felt like and practice with it on my own. I also wanted a perfect fit so I didn’t spend precious time adjusting it while my husband was waiting.
Later, I adjusted the straps and glanced in the mirror because I wanted to be confident while wearing it without sacrificing comfort. I also started playing with the dildo, pretending it was my husband’s penis, and experimented with various thrusting movements I planned to use.
5. Take it slow
Don’t just jump straight into pegging. Like any lovemaking, I recommend starting with foreplay to get everyone aroused and relaxed. It also help to take a hot bath or give your partner a relaxing massage. Whatever floats your boat.
Remember, pegging isn’t like those porn scenes, so take it slow. Taking it slow ensures the best experience for your partner.
6. Make him comfortable
Find a comfortable position that’s relaxing for both of you. Missionary and doggy are typically the best beginner positions.
Now, let’s address the important part: Don’t shove the dildo inside right away. Instead, put the tip outside the anus and slowly make your way inside. Just the tip first and then slowly the rest of the shaft. Remind him to relax.
Make sure you apply a lot of lube to allow the dildo to enter gently without causing any pain. You can reapply lube during the pegging sessions, especially when you’re pulling out or changing position.
You should also avoid pulling it out too fast unless they consent. Once your partner has adjusted, you can move back and forth or grind in a circular motion.
7. Let the receiver set the pace
Women enjoy pegging because it switches the gender roles and puts them in a more dominant position. But even in a dominant position, you should ensure the receiver sets the pace.
For example, once the dildo is inside my husband, I ask him how he likes me to move. He tells me to slow down or move faster, depending on his preference. I sometimes remain still while he’s thrusting. This method is especially good for bottom beginners, as it gives them more control over depth and speed.
8. Try different positions
I recommend trying many pegging positions. We started with the trusted doggy style but eventually switched to more daring positions. It all depends on which you feel most comfortable with.
You can try the missionary position, cowboy, spooning, and more. Each position has its benefits and limitations – experiment with whatever position you like until you find one that suits you best.
You can find a complete list of our best pegging positions here.
When We Tried Pegging For The First Time! (Our Pegging Story)
We watched an adult movie one night, and it had this very erotic anal sex scene. I was enjoying it when suddenly, an idea came to mind. You see, I always wonder what it would be like to perform anal sex on my man with a strap-on. We’ve done a lot of kinky stuff in the bedroom, but we never tried this before.
Therefore, I thought it was about time to ask my husband what he thinks of pegging:
“Honey, what do you think about pegging?”
Tim was shocked, but his eyes sparkled:
“I thought you’d never ask. Some gay friends have said anal gives them a whole new kind of high. Frankly, honey, it’s one of my dirtiest sex fantasies since I was a teenager.”
“Well, it’s about time we do something about it. How does making your dirtiest sex fantasy come true?” I asked mischievously.
He chuckled. “How can I say no to that?”
That was all the motivation I needed, but I knew it would require planning because it was our first time. We were both excited and to make it memorable, we decided to try it on our wedding anniversary, only a week away.
The first thing we did was order the toy together. It was so much fun because we couldn’t believe there were hundreds of strap-ons available online, in all shapes and sizes.
I wanted this to be special for my husband, so I let him choose the toys, and he finally settled on one that looked less intimidating. It was a beginner strap-on kit with a 5″ dildo. We bought it, and two days later, it arrived with the lubricants we ordered.
When the big day finally arrived, I was giddy with excitement. Tim had to work at the office, so I had the whole house to myself, and I decided to try the toy first to see how well it fit me.
I put it around my waist, adjusted the straps, and looked in the mirror. I looked hot! The erect dildo seemed natural, and it felt real as I ran my finger and squeezed it as I do with Tim’s dick before putting it inside my mouth.
I’m sure Tim would be dying to have it inside him!
That night, Tim came home with a bouquet of red roses. He even gave me sexy black lingerie, which I planned to wear for our first pegging experience.
We had a nice dinner at home, and afterward, we decided to shower together. We were both naked when we returned to the bedroom, and I slipped on my new lingerie while my man got into bed.
I walked slowly towards him and joined him under the covers. I felt empowered because I knew I was in control of the lovemaking that night. Next, I positioned myself on top of him and started kissing his lips.
Our tongues danced, and I could still taste the wine on his lips. He pressed me against his body, and I could feel his hard cock between my legs. He slipped my lingerie over my head and started sucking on my nipples. Then, he reached out under me with one hand and started playing with my pussy.
I was so wet.
Now I told him to roll over, and I started licking his asshole while my other hand played with his manhood. He was ready, and I grabbed the strap-on and put it around my waist.
Now I started grinding my body on his back. “Can you feel that, honey? It’s ready for you.”
“Oh yes, put it in me, honey,” he pleaded.
I told him to relax as I spread his legs apart. He was lying face down on the bed, and I slowly entered him from behind. He was very tight, and I thought it was normal because it was his first pegging experience. I got aroused, and I couldn’t wait to put the whole penis inside him. But I knew I had to be careful.
I slowly put the dildo inside him in a gentle push-and-pull movement, just like he does when he’s giving me anal sex. He was moaning and groaning with pleasure. I told him to let me know if it was painful, and I’ll stop.
“Oh please, baby, don’t stop. Put it all in. It’s so amazing!”
I finally had the whole dildo inside him, and I started to push and pull faster. His asshole was beginning to adjust to its size, and soon, I could feel him relax. I pulled out and told him to change position. This time, I wanted us to do it doggie-style.
I could see his butthole looked a bit sore, so I applied more lubricant and told him to relax. Then I grabbed his hips, raised his butt, and slowly re-entered him. As soon as I had the whole dildo inside him, I started pounding on him. Once in a while, I would slap his butt, and he would moan in delight.
I was aroused, and I started playing with my clit as I continued to push and pull inside him. He was close because of his breathing and all the sexy noises he was making. I withdrew from him, and I told him to lie on his back.
Now I was on top of him, and I let him suck my tits and caress my breasts. I put more anal lube on the dildo and told him to lie down, spread his legs, and raise his butt with his hands. He did as I told him, and once again, I slowly entered him.
It felt so good because I could feel his balls brushing my pussy every time I pushed and pulled inside him. There were moments when I would slowly pull out and enter him again with one swift push.
I grabbed his rock-hard cock and started masturbating it while pushing and pulling out of him. Tim was moaning and groaning with ecstasy. I felt his anal muscles contract, and as he screamed with orgasmic pleasure, his warm white cum spurted out of his cock and into his stomach. I licked the warm liquid, and his body shuddered.
He was still panting when I took out the dildo, which he grabbed from my hand. I watched as he put it around his waist and put some lube on it. He guided me into the doggie-style position, and as his hands squeezed my breasts, he entered me from behind with the dildo.
It felt so good and wet as the lube mixed with my vaginal juices. Tim shoved it inside me, and it reached my G-spot. I was tingling all over, and as he pushed it again, I climaxed. I let out a scream and collapsed on the bed.
He took off the strap-on and lay down beside me. I put my head on his shoulder, and he hugged me close to his warm body.
“Thank you, baby,” he whispered and kissed my forehead.
I kissed his lips and asked, “So, how was it?”
He smiled and said, “It was one of the best orgasms I ever had. That dildo felt good inside me, and I could feel my muscles stretched to accommodate its size. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but the lube made the whole process painless. Once my ass adjusted, I started to enjoy every push and pull until I got the prostate orgasm.”
We laughed, and I knew right there that pegging would become part of our regular lovemaking routine.
/Tim & Sandra
Medium | Reddit
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