Sex toys can be a lot of fun. Whether for vaginal, clitorial, or, what we are here for, male dildo play. But not all of them are created equal. So we are here to help you choose the right anal sex toy for whatever anal antics you have in mind, including how to use a dildo for men effectively and safely. In addition, we offer some juicy positions for you and your partner to try at the end!
Table Of Contents
- Not only male-identified, same-sex attracted people find dildos pleasurable. If using one gets your sexual motor running, relax and have a good time!
- When you buy anal vibrators, pay attention to the type, design (it must have a flared base), material, settings, size, and sound level. We also recommend a suction cup base since it offers many more possibilities.
- If you’re new to butt play, it’s critical to start slow and use a lot of lube (but no numbing products). You should also practice good hygiene and immediately stop if you feel pain or discomfort.
Why You Should Trust Us
Regarding sexual education, few sites offer as many educated, experienced, and informative writers as we here at My Sex Toy Guide. With decades of sex-related knowledge under our belts, there’s nothing we have not done or learned about.
But even we know when it is time to ask for help, like inviting erotic author, sex tech journalist, and sex educator, M.Christian, to lend a hand.
For this guide on male dildos, they bring a background in sexual devices and the myriad ways they can be used and enjoyed. Which we feel makes this article perfect for novice or experienced anal sex toy users alike.
Do Only Gay Men Use Dildos?
It’s not true only male-identified, same-sex-attracted people find dildos pleasurable. First, only you can say if you identify as gay or not.
Thankfully, there has never been a requirement or test to determine anyone’s sexual orientation. Using dildos also does not make you anything except someone who likes them.
If using a dildo gets your sexual motor running, then relax and have a good time. If anyone tells you otherwise, look them straight in the eye and tell them they have no business telling you who you are.
Everyone deserves the freedom to explore their sexuality and the best orgasms. Whatever it may be, from oral sex to kinky stuff.
Though always consensual when playing with other people. Otherwise, go for it if it turns you on and does not physically or emotionally harm you or anyone else!
If you or someone you know is struggling with guilt or shame, we recommend visiting a sex-affirming therapist. They can be invaluable in helping to overcome these and other challenging emotions.
Particularly when they interfere with having better sex. With or without dildos or any other devices that make you happy.
What To Think About When Buying A Product
There are a lot of factors to consider when choosing one. So many we are going to be breaking them down into easily digestible pieces.
- To help get you started, think about how your dildo will better your sex life. For example, ask yourself if you want something that looks like a penis. Otherwise, maybe you would be happier using a non-phallic model.
- The same is true for how you plan to use it. Many of them do not do anything at all, aside from being designed for anal pleasure. But there are hundreds of vibrating dildos as well.
- Then there are smart dildos, which can be controlled from anywhere in the world and are endlessly programmable. If you like porn, some of these smart sexual devices can interact with adult videos or games.
So take a moment to consider your ideal dildo. Doing so will make selecting one much easier.
Types of dildos
We already mentioned how dildos can be lifelike or more realistically shaped. But there are all different kinds as well.
- Suction cup dildos offer much, like the ability to be mounted to any polished surface, which can be anything from a table to the side of a tiled or glass-walled shower. If something is slick enough, you can adhere any of these models to it. The benefit of suction dildos is obvious. When fixed to a surface, they cannot fly unexpectedly away. They can also be fantastic for solo rhythmic penetration play if you like playing alone. You can read more about suction cup dildos in this article.
- Then there are models with a built-in cock ring. Looped around the shaft and behind a person’s testicles, a cock ring reduces blood floor to their penis. Which, in turn, can up their orgasms or prolong them.
- For vibrating dildos, you can use a basic model or the more advanced, smart kind. For the former, there are hundreds to choose from. These often come with exciting extras like multiple motors and offer hands-free stimulation.
Did our brief discussion of smart dildos get you hot and bothered? If it does, we have a bunch of them to consider. Of them, we like those made by Lovense, like the Hush 2 line of butt plugs and their Edge 2. We are particularly fond of their products as their smartphone app is extremely easy to set up and use. Plus, their products are superbly engineered and designed. If these do not sound appealing, Kiiroo makes smart dildos as well. Plus, other companies are doing great things with interactive sex toys.
Materials
When it comes to anal devices, it’s body-safe silicone and nothing else. But several manufacturers have been improving on this basic material.
So if you or those you play with are allergic, you have other options. The most common are glass or stainless steel, like njoy Pure Wand.
Don’t worry about using a dildo made of glass. Unless that is, you throw it against the wall or something similarly silly. Glass dildos are typically tempered, making them highly durable and safe.
Steel and glass have other benefits as well. For instance, glass ones warm up after being used for a while. Stainless steel does too, but it takes longer for it to get toasty.
Both are also remarkably heavy, making them the bee’s knees if you groove on playing with the intense pressure weighty dildos can provide.
Safety
As we have repeatedly pointed out, single or double penetration is risky. Either by possibly contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or damaging the anus’s delicate tissues. You have to be very careful when doing it.
Fortunately, there’s a simple way to make sure yours will be the best dildo to use. First, never use anything except sex toys specifically designed for this sexual activity.
There are absolutely no exceptions to this. If you still want to use the wrong thing, visit your local emergency room. There you will hear countless stories of people coming in with something stuck in their asses.
It won’t happen with an anal dildo since they have a flared base, like Vixskin Mustang. In addition, they allow you to get a handle on them, preventing them from getting drawn up into your body.
Exclusively choosing only certified anal sex toys lowers the risk of a toxic or allergic reaction. Remember our chat about materials?
It’s better to be safe than sorry by sticking with well-made devices. Otherwise, things could go very, very wrong.
Size
Due to its incredible flexibility, as you get more experienced, you will probably need to move to larger and larger models.
But this does not mean you should begin with a big one. Hardly, as doing so increases the likelihood of hurting yourself. Instead, start with a short, narrow, finger-sized type, like Lovehoney Curved. Then, when you are ready, go to the next size up.
The good news is a good number of manufacturers offer a range of sizes. This way, you do not have to go up from a style you are already familiar with to something maybe uncomfortably different.
Design
Whether realistic or not, a huge variety of shapes are available to buy. Such as butt plugs, which are usually egg-shaped.
Then there are models designed for toe-curling prostate orgasm play. This p-spot gland has been likened to a g-spot orgasm when correctly stimulated, making it well worth considering when shopping.
But there are other designs, like models built for anal widening, elongating, or strap-on sex.
Our favorites are equipped with attachment points on their bases, like Vac U Lock adapters. They can be mounted to a thrusting machine for vigorous penetration play. But we also think it is cool you can fix a tail to them for furry cosplay.
Do not feel there are only a small number of dildos out there to choose from. Quite the contrary, there are nearly as many unique types as people who enjoy using them.
So getting your hands on the right dildo is only a matter of time and shopping around.
Budget
While respecting how often people do not have much money to spend, do not go cheap. Affordable, for sure, as a higher-end sex toy can be expensive. But buying bargain basement ones can be unpleasant or even dangerous.
Research is your friend when it comes to purchasing a dildo. Knowing which are well made or not does wonders for narrowing your search.
A good technique for further reducing it is to check out companies specializing in anal penetration, particularly when they are respected by fans of this kind of sexual activity.
If we could say anything about money and anal toys, it would be to consider investing in your health and, best of all, your sexual pleasure.
If you need help finding a good place to buy your dildo, we have a guide for that.
How To Use A Dildo For Men?
That is out of the way; here’s a breakdown of using a dildo to help you or your partner orgasm.
1. Wash it first
Right off the bat, give your brand-new dildo a good bath. But do not scrub it to within an inch of its silicone life.
On the contrary, follow the manufacturer’s cleaning instructions. Do not try anything else, as they are easily ruined, whether from too hot water or the wrong kind of soap, it doesn’t matter.
So do not question what the manufacturer says. Your body and your dildo will thank you for it.
2. Empty bowel
Feces and anal stimulation go hand in hand. Or maybe “dildo in your ass” would be more accurate?
In either case, reducing waste in your bowels is not hard. In previous articles, we discussed how diet can help decrease the amount of fecal matter.
But as we mentioned, some experts say dieting is not necessary. They recommend a healthy bowel movement will likely do the trick instead.
3. Clean your bum
Putting the enema debate aside, what is effective is flushing with a douche or enema. But these might be problematic as well.
According to anal enthusiasts and educators, enemas might upset your gastrointestinal system. On top of that, it could leave you dehydrated or damage your anal tissues.
We suggest an enema only if a lot of waste is present after a strenuous bowel movement. The reality is there’s always going to be at least some feces. That and it is practically impossible to make your ass absolutely clean.
4. Find a comfortable place and create a good mood
Stress and anal sphincters do not mix. To ease yours, do what you can to make your environment relaxing. Some find calming music effective, while others prefer lowlights and a comfortable bed.
It does not matter what you do, as long as it puts you and your anus in a receptive and stress-free mood.
5. Add lube
Keeping your butt lubricated is one of the most important things you should do before and during playing with a dildo.
But not just any lube will do. Where a vagina requires a water-based lube, instead exclusively use oil or silicone lube for anal play.
Otherwise, your anal tissues will absorb water-based ones too quickly. It’s not good as a dry ass is guaranteed to result in pain, irritation, and maybe also lead to bleeding or worse. However, if you have a silicone dildo, you must use water-based lube since a silicone product may degrade the material.
There are all kinds of anal lubricants available. But of them all, we feel non-numbing ones are the best. Our recommendation is if your ass is desensitized, you will not be able to tell if something terrible has happened.
6. Warm up using a finger
To get your anus used to a dildo, get things rolling by inserting a gloved finger and giving it a circular motion. Gloved because when used with anal lube, it will much more not be uncomfortable than otherwise.
You don’t need to do much else. Though if you plan on playing with a wide model, you may want to use more than one finger. But this all depends on your overall experience level with a dildo.
7. Start slow
Anal play should never, ever be rushed. It is a journey, not a destination you should sprint towards. So take it easy and be patient. If things do not feel good at any time, ease off or stop.
If you experience pain or serious discomfort, immediately end the scene. After all, you do not want to risk serious injury by continuing.
8. Relax & Breathe
Nothing beats slow breathing to get you and your ass in a receptive mood. Think of it as a form of sexual mediation. Its goal is to reduce the tightness of your anal muscles.
As with getting yourself in a good mood, you might want to try soothing music. Though breathing in and out at a gentle, steady pace has been proven to get anyone ready.
Being in the right frame of mind can also play an important role in helping you orgasm.
9. Try different positions
How you or your partner are positioned can affect how comfortable your dildo will be. So if things are not going well, shifting your bodies could change things for the better.
Positions are so critical we have dedicated the end of this article to some for you to try.
10. Pause or stop if you feel uncomfortable
Again, if at any time something does not feel good for the person receiving the dildo, instantly put a stop to what is going on.
As we have said, anal can be risky. A surefire way to increase the possibility of serious harm is failing to respond when someone is in distress.
11. Use it in the shower
If your product is waterproof, and most are, try using it in the shower. It’s easier to clean up afterward and an excellent way to get and stay relaxed.
A drawback is that water dilutes or removes anal lubricants. So do not spray water directly onto your anus. You may also want to apply extra lube to counteract this.
How To Use Them With A Partner?
Here are our thoughts on using a dildo with another person. As with every sexual activity, you both have to be great communicators. It not only makes negotiation easier but helps establish trust.
With its numerous hazards, it’s extremely important when engaging in anal play. So practice your communication skills and before you do anything, talk it over first.
Consent
The pinnacle of dildo activities communication is giving and getting consent. But it’s not a one-time thing, as it can and should be withdrawn for any reason at any time. Agreeing to use a toy does not mean you cannot call a halt or renegotiate whenever necessary.
Do not play with anyone who does not get why it’s important. That may sound harsh, but non-consensual sex is, by definition, sexual assault.
So give and get consent each and every time you play – the same for asking before doing anything and respecting when someone says no.
Ways to play with a partner
You can enjoy nearly every kind of dildo fun with a partner that you can do by yourself. The added perk with partner play is having someone else there to lend a hand or two.
But there are other advantages, like indulging in role-playing or BDSM.
For either, be sure to hone your communication and consent skills. We say this as people might get too wrapped up in their persona to react quickly enough when things go south.
Obviously, partner play equals another mouth and cock added to the mix. Sixty-nine combined with a pair of dildos can be unique, as few things can beat sucking on a penis while penetrated.
The sky’s the limit when using one with a partner. All you need do is firmly establish the ground rules and be clear about what you do and do not want. Not to mention that everything has to be consensual.
Best Male Dildo Positions
To get you well on your way to dildo nirvana, the following are some positions we have selected for this very fun sexual activity.
However, please don’t feel these are the only ones to try. Instead, think of them as jumping-off points for your erotic self-exploration. We also have many more in our anal masturbation guide.
Missionary
You cannot get more classic than a good, old-fashioned missionary position.
But why is it here on your guide to dildo sex? For starters, laying on your back provides your partner with fantastic access to your ass and penis.
With how comfy and easy to get into it, missionary is a first-rate position for enjoying the pleasures of a dildo.
Spooning
Laying side-by-side is another excellent position. To give you a better idea of why it is, imagine how stress-free it would be to receive a dildo during it. As the missionary position supports your back, spooning can be similarly relaxing. As we discussed, stress and anal are not a good combination.
The only challenge with this position is getting the toy angled correctly. But if you and your partner are patient, before too long, it will go right where you want it.
Prone
Having the penetrating person on their back is yet another fun position. First, they can be totally relaxed and have the penis exposed. Second, the receiving partner can get on top of them to better position either their penis or a strap-on dildo.
Thirdly, it can be endlessly modified to suit everyone’s needs. For instance, you might place pillows under the penetrating person’s ass or head to boost this position’s effectiveness.
From behind
As tried-and-true as the missionary position, from behind or doggy style is one more amazing one to try.
Above all else, it grants easy access to the receiver’s ass. Which, as we are talking dildos, scores it major points.
If the receiver finds it puts too much stress on their back or knees, they can bolster themselves with blankets or pillows. The penetrating person can also have their feet flat on the floor to make them more comfortable.
Best Male Suction Cup Dildo Positions
There will be times when you do not have a partner. Either that, or maybe you prefer playing by yourself? In either case, here is a list of terrific suction cup dildo positions to contemplate.
Riding on the floor
If your living space is not carpeted, you might want to give sticking your dildo to the floor a whirl.
If your floor is smooth enough, that is. But so, this position can be a dream come true for people into squatting down on a penis.
Doggy attached to a wall
For this position, affix your suction dildo to a vertical surface before backing yourself onto it. It provides the same arousing sensations as the partnered version. There is also how trouble-free it can be to adjust the height and angle.
Our only issue is that it can be rough on the knees if your floors are not carpeted. However, the application of blankets can alleviate this issue quite nicely.
Bathtub
Merge the splashy goodness of your tub or shower with the delights of a dildo with this position. It cannot be beaten, from easy to wash up afterward to the relaxing benefits of warm water.
The icing on the cake is unless your bathroom has wooden walls, suction cup models like nothing better than adhering to a shower wall. A potential disadvantage is that tubs and showers can be slippery, so ensure your footing is always secure.
A chair
Got a metal or plastic chair? Fixing a dildo to it might open a host of exciting possibilities, for example, not needing to strain your back to get into it. It can also be ideal for getting them far upside your ass.
Every position has at least one not-so-great aspect. This one requires a good deal of strength to repeatedly penetrate yourself while in it. But if you would rather have your dildo go in and stay in, it can be delightful.
Thin wall strip
Your living space does not have smooth enough walls for your dildo? If so, you can attach it to a wall strip.
If your apartment doesn’t have a thin wall strip, there may be other solutions. For example, some living room appliances can be spot-on for them. A portable air conditioner is a great choice as it will not move too much and is the right height for this position.
Liberator BonBon
Why not buy furniture that is built explicitly for dildo play? Enter the Liberator BonBon, developed from the ground up to be used with sex toys.
It is part of Liberator’s many sex furniture designs that are comfy and stylish. All of which are well-made and limitlessly positionable.
Aftercare and Maintenance
Here are our thoughts on caring for your dildo after you have had fun with it.
To ensure it will please you for a long time, learn everything you can about its make, materials, and what its manufacturer recommends. They know far more than you or anyone else does about it.
Properly Wash It
First and foremost, clean it. Not only when you are finished using a dildo but before you use it. Even in a relatively unsullied container, germs and nasty things can still take hold.
If the manufacturer’s cleaning recommendations are unavailable, wash it in warm and never excessively hot water. Use only a minuscule amount of mild, unscented, antibacterial hand soap. However, a silicone sex toy cleaning solution would be even better.
Doing otherwise can ruin or contaminate it. Both are not good for you or your dildo’s health. So resist the urge to sterilize yours and let lukewarm water and gentle soap do the job instead.
You can read more about dildo cleaning here.
Properly store it
Now your dildo is nice and clean, where do you put it? The answer is somewhere cool but not cold and warm but not hot.
But do not merely tuck it away willy-nilly. Far from it! First, place it in a sealable plastic bag and remove as much air from it as you can. But before that, dry it thoroughly with a lint-free cloth.
Inappropriate places include exposing it to direct sunlight, high humidity, or excessively warm or chilly environments.
As its manufacturer knows how to clean and maintain it, they also are the authority on how and where to keep it between uses. If they fail to mention where to put it, putting it in a bedside table drawer or under a bed often works well.
M.Christian
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