Strap-on dildos are a popular sex toy that can be used by anyone, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. You can use them for a variety of reasons, including pleasure, experimentation, and to help with erectile dysfunction or other physical limitations.
But it can be a bit intimidating to know where to start, so to make sure you grasp every step as clearly as possible, we asked our sex educator and tester, Sandra Larson, to give some tips on how to use a strap-on dildo. Without further ado, let’s get straight into it!
- First things first, choose a strap-on that feels right for you. Think about the harness style you prefer, whether it’s waist and thigh straps or boxer briefs, and consider the size, shape, and material of the dildo. Silicone models are popular because they’re safe for your body and easy to clean.
- When you’re all set to use it, make sure the dildo is securely attached to the harness.
- Now, find a comfortable position that works for you and your partner. For example, lying on your back with your legs apart can be a good start. To keep things smooth and comfy, don’t forget to use plenty of water-based lubricants, especially if you’re new to this or exploring anal penetration.
- As you get into it, take your time and communicate with your partner. It’s all about making sure both of you are feeling good.
- Be gentle as you guide the dildo and try different moves and angles to amp up the pleasure. Experiment with various positions like doggy style, missionary, or cowgirl to keep things exciting.
What is a Strap-On Dildo?
Strap-ons are a couple sex toy that typically consist of an O-ring (where you put your dildo) and an adjustable harness that you attach around your waist. This toy can create a change in the bedroom dynamics for straight couples and is also popular for lesbian sex.
They come in different shapes and sizes, and they can be used for anal play, vaginal sex, or even oral sex. You can also find some hollow strap-ons which are designed for people with small penises or those suffering from Erectile Dysfunction (ED).
Using a strap-on can be a lot of fun, but it does require some practice and patience. You’ll need to find the right harness that fits your body shape comfortably and securely, and you’ll need to choose a dildo that fits perfectly on that harness like the shoes in Cinderella.
How To Use a Strap On Dildo?
Strap-ons can be a great addition to any sexual activity, whether you’re a straight couple or two females exploring their bodies. But before you dive in, follow these steps we have for you:
Learning About The Different Types
There are a few things you must consider when choosing a strap-on dildo. First, you need to decide what kind of harness you want. Most strap-on harnesses come with a basic strap that goes around your waist and another that goes between your legs. However, if you want more support, you can opt for a harness with thigh straps or boxer briefs. These can be made from a variety of materials, including leather, nylon, and neoprene.
Another type is the strapless strap-on, which does not require a harness. Instead, it features a bulb or ridge that is inserted into the wearer’s vagina, with a dildo attached to the other end. Strapless models can be more difficult to use than a harness but can provide a more intimate experience as your bodies becomes closer.
If you happen to have a strapless one, make sure to check our separate how-to guide on using strapless strap-ons.
Choosing The Right Dildo
First, you’ll want to think about the size and shape of the dildo. Here it’s all about personal preference with some preferring longer or thicker dildos, while others may prefer a more average size.
It’s important to choose a size that you feel comfortable with and will provide the sexual stimulation you desire. You may also want to consider the shape as some are designed with a curve to do prostate or G-spot stimulation. For the kinksters that want some anal play, the safe bet is to grab a toy with a flared base to make sure you don’t slip and get lost inside.
You’ll want to think about the material. Some prefer silicone dildos, which we think is the best choice because they are body-safe material, durable, and easy to clean. Others prefer products made from materials like glass, metal, or wood for a different sensation.
It all comes down to selecting a material that feels comfortable and is safe for your body. You should consider the dildo texture as some are smooth while others may have ridges or bumps for added stimulation.
Properly Clean It Before Use
Now, depending on the material of your strap-on, you’ll want to use different cleaning methods. If it’s silicone, you can simply wash it with warm water and soap. If it’s made of a porous material like rubber or jelly (don’t buy these BTW), you’ll want to use a toy cleaner specifically designed for those materials. You can read more about strap-on cleaning here.
Pro tip: Don’t use any harsh chemicals or bleach on your strap-on. You don’t want to damage the material or irritate your skin during your next playtime.
Get in Position
Once everything is set, it’s time to get in position. Most harnesses have an O-ring that the dildo attaches to, so make sure it’s securely in place. If you’re using a hollow strap-on, make sure your partner wears it with the opening facing down.
Next, get into a comfortable position. You can try different positions to see what works best for you, but a common one is for the missionary, i.e. the receiver lies on their back with their legs spread apart. This allows for easy access and control.
Use a Lot of Lube
Lubricant isn’t a recommendation but a must. Not just any lube, you need to use water-based lube with your strap-on. Why? Because silicone lube can degrade silicone toys and oil-based lube can damage latex condoms. So, stick with water-based lube to keep things safe and slippery.
Now, you might be thinking, “But won’t all that lube make a mess?” The answer is yes, it probably will. But that’s completely normal and part of the fun. Just throw down a towel or two and let the lube flow. Trust us, you’ll thank us later when everything is gliding smoothly.
Make sure to cover the entire dildo with lube, especially the tapered tip. This will help with insertion and prevent any uncomfortable friction. And don’t be shy, use a generous amount of lube. Especially if you’re going to do anal sex. And keep in mind that you can always add more as needed during your bedroom play.
Start Slow
When you’re ready, start slow. Use your hands to guide the dildo into your partner’s body while communicating with them throughout the whole process. Harness play can be a new experience for some, so take your time and make sure they’re comfortable.
Once the dildo is in, you can start moving it in and out, experimenting with different positions and angles for maximum pleasure. You can also add a bullet vibrator or butt plug for added stimulation, or try prostate stimulation for male partners.
Switch Up The Positions
Let’s face it, using a strap-on can be intimidating, especially if it’s your first time. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! Here are some of the best strap-on sex positions to try out with your partner:
- Doggy Style: This classic is perfect for beginners as your partner’s hips will thrust to determine the most comfortable and effective angle for penetration. Meanwhile, they can stabilize themselves by bracing on the bed.
- Missionary: Yes, you read that right! Missionary can be a great position for strap-on play. Your partner can lie back and enjoy the ride while you take control.
- Cowgirl: This position allows you to take control while your partner lies back and enjoys the ride. Plus, it’s a great way to show off your moves!
If you want more options, we have a full list of the best pegging positions right here.
But Why Should I Buy One?
Sometimes you want to spice things up in the bedroom, and a strap-on dildo can be a thrilling way to do just that. Not only does it add a zest of excitement to your sex life, but it also offers a range of practical benefits.
For individuals dealing with erectile dysfunction, these sex toys can be a transformative tool. It enables continued engagement in partnered sex without the concern of maintaining an erection, providing peace of mind and pleasure. Plus, it offers additional stimulation for your partner, enhancing the sexual experience.
But they extend beyond erectile dysfunction. It’s a versatile tool that can be enjoyable in various scenarios, including pegging, where a person uses a strap-on to penetrate their male partner, offering a new dynamic and a way to explore different aspects of sexuality. It’s also fantastic for threesome scenarios, adding a new dimension to the experience and allowing for a more inclusive and diverse range of activities.
Related: 13 Best Strapons For Pegging
Strap-ons are also highly popular with lesbian couples, offering ways to explore penetrative sex. They can experiment with different sizes, shapes, and roles, enriching their sexual connection and exploring new avenues of pleasure.
Sandra
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