There are close to a dozen ways for women to orgasm, and it’s not unusual to hear of women who can’t orgasm via penetrative sex.
Inviting the use of sex toys, including vibrators, into your sexual experience can unlock a whole new world of pleasure and even help those struggling to reach orgasm find new ways to make sex more pleasurable.
Whether you’re looking to use vibrators for solo sessions or want to invite some novelty into your sex life with your partner, this article will give you all the information you need to get started!
Table Of Contents
What Is A Vibrator?
Vibrators are more or less what you’d think they’d be. They’re devices of varying shapes and sizes used predominantly externally on the clit, anus, or other erogenous zones. But you can also use them for G-spot stimulation in the vagina or the anus.
Using vibration to stimulate these body parts can help make reaching climax easier, thanks to the increased sensitivity of these pleasurable areas.
How Does A Vibrator Work?
Vibrators make use of different shapes, sizes, and intensities to stimulate various erogenous zones of the body. The buzzing sensation against your body can help to increase blood flow and stimulate nerve endings, making this area more sensitive to touch. This increased sensitivity can make it significantly easier to reach orgasm.
Who Are They For?
Long story short, vibrators are for everyone.
While vibrator use is most commonly associated with women, as many as 44% of men in the United States have also used one at some point in their lives, according to this 2008 study, and these numbers may have continued to rise since then.
They are also used to increase pleasure both during masturbation as well as partnered sex. The use of sex toys to increase sexual satisfaction isn’t something anyone should feel ashamed of, regardless of gender.
What To Think About When Buying A Product
Type Of Vibe
There are 7 popular vibrator types for you to choose from.
- Clitoral vibes – your typical model with no bells and whistles. Great for intense clitoral stimulation and perfect for beginners.
- Massage wands – are technically neck massagers, but the fact you can plug wand vibrators into the wall makes them high-powered, perfect for anyone craving extra stimulation.
- Bullet vibes – generally the size of a tube of lipstick, egg, or bullet, they are small enough to fit into whatever creative space you can think of and are also great for travel.
- Rabbit vibe – rabbits offer an internal arm as well as ‘rabbit ears’ that stimulate the clitoris for double sexual pleasure.
- Wearable vibe – these finger vibrators can easily be looped around your digits to avoid slipping and sliding. You can also wear some inside your underwear.
- Suction vibes – most similar to receiving oral sex from a partner, they simulate a sucking sensation, and you use them on the clitoris.
- G spot vibrators – are perfectly curved for internal stimulation, and you can easily hit your g spot.
Material
Regarding vibrators, it’s best to look for a silicone toy. Silicone is one of the least porous materials that vibrators can be made of, meaning they won’t harbor bacteria. They’re also the best for carrying powerful vibrations while still being soft on the skin.
Settings
For some people, a variety of different speed settings and vibration settings is a big selling point, but for others, simplicity reigns supreme. There’s no way of telling which style will best suit your needs, and often finding your best fit will take trial and error.
Don’t be afraid to create a collection of different vibrations to match your every mood.
Size
Bigger isn’t always better, and buying something small might be convenient for anyone often traveling, either across the country or back and forth from their partner’s apartment.
Design
After experimenting with what fits your needs best, you might find that specific designs stimulate your particular erogenous zones better than others.
Travel Lock
Historically, traveling with a vibrator meant removing their batteries to prevent a vibrating suitcase. Now, some brands include a travel lock on their vibrators, but the old-fashioned habit of taking out batteries still works.
Power Source
Generally, you can expect vibrators that plug directly into a wall to have more power, and some women find themselves unable to reach orgasm without the added intensity.
For most of us, though, a product with batteries or one that can be charged using a power outlet will do the job. Though, it’s essential to ensure we have some extra AAAs if we rely on the latter.
Sound Level
Whether you’re living with a roommate, your family, or generally value your privacy, some companies create models with discretion in mind. Some vibrators offer a ‘whisper mode’ setting, while others generally don’t make much noise.
Budget
You can find bullet vibrators for as little as $10, and the most expensive devices you can buy come in at a whopping $1.3 million — though a $30-100 rabbit will also probably do the trick.
You can read more about vibrators here.
How To Use A Vibrator Solo?
1. Wash it first
The first and most crucial step is to ensure it has been thoroughly cleaned, even if it’s brand new.
Bacteria and other irritating particles you don’t want making contact with the more sensitive parts of your body could be lingering on your new sex toy.
To prevent any possibility of your pH getting thrown off or yeast infection-causing bacteria from making their way onto the scene, make sure to use a mild, unscented soap to give your vibrator a good scrub. Both before and after use.
2. Make sure it’s fully charged
There’s nothing more disappointing than your sex toy running out of juice halfway through a steamy self-love session.
To ensure you’re never in a bind, it’s a good idea to get into the habit of regularly charging your device or picking up an extra pack of
batteries every time you hit the supermarket.
Make plugging in your vibrator part of your routine every time so you can enjoy intimate time with yourself worry-free.
3. Learn how the controls work
Take time to figure out the various settings that your particular vibrator offers, as well as how to smoothly transition between them. This way, you can avoid accidentally switching gears right as you’re about to orgasm.
4. Try it on other body parts first
In the next section, we discuss creating a ritual around masturbation, including taking time to warm up the body and tease the various erogenous zones that you have — including your nipples, anus, and even the inside of your thighs.
5. Find a comfortable place and create a good mood
When the mood hits, it can be tempting to rush through the process to fast-forward to the climax and get on with your day. After all, it’s not like you’re going to put on lingerie and light your favorite candles when there’s no one to impress, right?
But, much like partnered sex, it’s worth taking the time to create an atmosphere that feels warm and safe for you to unwind in.
Masturbation has the potential to be a ritual of self-love and should be treated as such.
Make your space feel welcoming by lighting candles and grabbing your favorite blankets. Wear your favorite lingerie if you feel called to. You could even try taking a bath beforehand to help you feel warm and relaxed.
Don’t rush the experience. Revel in the experience of teasing yourself and enjoying the different sensations that stimulating each part of your body brings.
All of these things will help you turn this time with yourself into a more sacred and loving experience that transcends just trying to quickly rub one out.
6. Add lube
Adding just a drop of lube — ideally, a water-based lube or a silicone-water hybrid — can keep things slippery and prevent any discomfort caused by too much friction between your sensitive skin and the sex toy of your choice.
7. Start slow
In the same way that we require our partners to use some finesse in the beginning stages of a hookup, the same goes for vibrator use.
More speed doesn’t necessarily mean more pleasure, and it’s better to start slow and increase the speed — if you even need it — as your body adjusts.
8. Use it externally first
Half of the fun of using toys is experimenting with internal and external stimulation and seeing what makes us tick.
When taking the time to experience a solo session, it’s a good idea to pop your new toy at a slow speed and take time to explore where on your clitoris and labia it feels best to play with.
Using vibrators gives you a unique opportunity to figure out where exactly your personal pleasure points are. For some of us, our favorite spot will be inside our left labia. For others, it might be the top right corner of our clitoris.
Vibrators can help us peg down the spots that really make us tick, enhancing all of our sexual experiences with ourselves and others.
9. Try different speeds and patterns
Most vibrators offer a variety of vibration and speed settings you can adjust to help you find that sweet spot in sensation. You might think that more speed is better and see no point in experimenting with the different vibration settings, but you’d be surprised at how different the sensation and subsequent orgasms can feel depending on which speed you choose that day.
Sex toys are created with various settings for a reason, and it’s worth taking the time to experiment with all your vibrator has to offer.
10. Try different positions and angles
There are a lot of different positions you can use during sex, and the same goes for sex toys.
Some of the most popular are lying on your back either with your legs wide or your knees wide and feet together. You can also lie on your stomach and hold your vibrator in your hand while you grind against it, or you could even experiment with how doggy-style feels.
All these positions will bring about different sensations, and what feels best for you might vary depending on your mood that particular day.
11. Try to hit the G-spot
For anyone who isn’t exactly sure what a g spot even is, it’s located on the front of your vagina, around one-third of the way between your cervix and the opening to your vagina.
One of the easiest ways to know that you’ve located this ultra-sensitive erogenous zone is if it feels different from the rest of your vagina. It’s often described as spongy with an almost bumpy, raised texture.
After a clitoral orgasm, g-spot orgasms are often the next easiest for women to access, and stimulating this area with a G-spot vibrator can lead to intense orgasms, and when you get the motion just right, even squirting orgasms.
Practice finding your g spot and tuning into the particular sensations that accompany this part of your body by yourself. Doing so will make it easier for you to direct your partner on how they can stimulate it to bring you to orgasm.
12. Try Edging
One of the fun parts of masturbating vs. partnered sex is that you have complete control, meaning you can experiment with edging. Edging is a practice where you stimulate yourself to the brink of orgasm before stopping and starting again.
You can use edging to help you experience more intense orgasms than you generally would, and it’s a fun way to keep the pleasure going for longer.
13. Try Temperature Play
Temperature play includes giving your partner a blow job after drinking ice-cold water or using warming or cooling lubricant.
This kind of play aims to arouse various senses and explore sensations you might not traditionally experience during sex. This technique can be used on your own to enhance your solo sexual experiences as well.
14. Use it in the shower
Before taking your vibrator into the shower, it’s best to double-check that it’s completely waterproof.
Most models are created to be used in the shower and are even submersible, making them a great addition to any bath time. If yours isn’t, though, one shower session could mean the death of your vibrator, so it’s best to double-check.
Showers provide a different space for you to use your vibrator. Not only that, they’re often a place where many can count on not being disturbed, which is great for anyone trying to fit in undisturbed alone time in a busier household.
15. Pause or stop if you feel uncomfortable
Just as you would during sex with a partner, if you feel uncomfortable, stop immediately. It could be that your body that day is feeling extra sensitive or that you’ve gone just a little too far.
Either try another time, or if this is a regular occurrence, vibrators might not be the best match for you. In that case, there are a ton of other sex toys that could be a better fit.
How To Use A Vibrator With A Partner?
First and foremost, it’s important to remember that sharing sex toys is never a good idea. Regardless of how well you clean them, sharing toys can leave you at risk of spreading sexually transmitted infections and should be avoided.
That being said, when used correctly, vibrators are the perfect addition to a spicy sex life and can lead you and your partner to experience some of your best orgasms together.
The most common way to incorporate vibrators into sex with your partner is by pressing them against your clitoris or labia during penetrative sex.
That, or you can use a penetrative toy for some steamy mutual masturbation or leave your partner to tease you using your favorite bullet vibrator during foreplay.
You can read more about partnered sex with a vibrator in this guide.
Aftercare and Maintenance
To prevent bacteria build-up and subsequent infections, always wash your sex toys with mild soap and warm water after every use.
In between sessions, you can store the vibrators in a cloth bag or your nightstand, granted they were fully dry before doing so.
Bottom Line
Picking up a vibrator from a sex toy shop near you can leave you ready for a steamy session after your next date night — regardless of whether you involve another person or not.
Masturbation is a self-love practice that can be used to further explore your body and find what feels best, and it can lead you to more pleasurable sex and the possibility of more orgasms.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What lube should I use with a vibrator?
Generally, the best kind of lube to use with a vibrator is anything water-based or a hybrid lube, mostly water-based, with a small amount of silicone.
Although thicker silicone-based lube feels great since it’s also the most common material used to make vibrators, it can lead to a degradation of your sex toys.
Are vibrators safe?
Yes. As long as you use them as intended and are careful about keeping them clean.
Can I use a vibrator anally?
Although vibrators can be used for external stimulation on any part of your body, they can be used for penetrative anal play only if they were explicitly designed to do so, e.g., have a flared base.
The straight and narrow design of vaginal vibrators is very different from what you’ll find with traditional anal toys, which generally have a large plug that protects you from visiting the hospital should it get stuck.
Thanks for reading my vibrator tips!
Rachel
Do you have any questions? Ask us on X.
LinkedIn | Website | Twitter
- 10 Couch Sex Positions You Can Try Tonight - May 4, 2024
- 7 Easy Sex Positions For Beginners You Should Try - May 3, 2024
- 10 Women On Top Sex Positions When You Want More Control - May 2, 2024
