Did you buy your first dildo but are unsure what to do with it? Then you came to the right place! Our clinical sexologist Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., has summarized everything to know in this extensive guide.
First, I cover some basic things about these unique sex toys. Then I go into more details, including some handy tips I learned through the years. Finally, I will cover more advanced tips that will take your self-pleasuring sessions to new heights. I promise you, at the end of this guide, you will have complete knowledge of how to use your dildo to its fullest potential. So, let’s dive right in!
Table Of Contents
Choosing Your Dildo
As a first-time dildo owner, you might be overwhelmed with the number of models on the market.
It’s understandable because there are literally thousands of different dildos out there.
But in the end, the only thing that matters is how you feel about the product you’re buying.
So, choose your dildo wisely.
Material
The first thing to consider is the dildo material. It’s the most essential criterion since you don’t want to use something toxic inside your body.
As a general rule, only buy non-porous, phthalate-free, and body-safe products, like silicone, glass, and stainless steel. Avoid porous products like jelly and TPE like the plague.
Porous sex toys can cause bacteria to grow inside the toy that can spread all over your body, to infections, rashes, and even vaginal infections.
You don’t want that!
Size
I won’t go into details about picking the right size since we already have an extensive size guide on doing just that.
But in short, if you’re a beginner, pick something close to the average penis size: between 5.1 inches and 5.5 inches in length and 4.59 inches in girth.
Design
The next thing to consider is the design. With design, I mean that the size and the shape should match your personal preference.
For example, pick a realistic dildo if you want something that looks like a real cock, complete with veins and testicles. Pick a curved model if you’re going to target specific areas, like the G-spot. And pick one with a heavy texture if you prefer more heavy stimulations.
There are even fantasy, dragon, tentacle, and alien dildos for those who want to be more adventurous.
And lesbians who don’t want something that looks like a real penis can pick one of the many non-phallic dildos the market has to offer.
There’s something for everyone!
Maintenance and Cleaning
Before you start using your dildo, it’s essential to clean it properly. You don’t want any bacteria or germs to grow on the surface, do you?
There are a few different ways to clean your sex toy, but the most important is washing it with mild soap and warm water.
You can either use a soap designed for sex toys, or a regular bar of soap.
If you want to learn more about cleaning your dildo, you can read our comprehensive sex toy cleaning guide.
Pro Tip: If you want to make sure to be 100% safe, you can put a condom over the dildo.
Setting The Mood
Setting the mood is an essential part of any good sexual experience.
For example, you can dim the lights, adjust the room temperature, and play a relaxing music track.
You can also create a romantic mood by doing deep breathing, lighting candles, and putting some scented oil by the bed.
All of these elements can make sexual experiences much more pleasurable.
Pro Tip: If you want to drink alcohol, please keep it to a glass or two.
Foreplay is Essential
You don’t want just to dive in and start using your dildo.
You should warm your pussy up first. It will get your vaginal juices flowing and your mind more relaxed, making insertion easier.
You can do foreplay in several ways, but the easiest is to start with light finger play on the inner labia and the clitoris.
In addition, lightly finger yourself with a finger or two.
You can also read erotic literature or watch an ethical pornographic movie. Plus, you can use your fingers to stroke other erogenous areas, like nipples, inner things, and butt cheeks.
Use Plenty Of Lube
Lube is a must when it comes to using any type of sex toy. It will make insertion easier and make it less likely to injure yourself.
You can use water-based lube, silicone-based lube (but not on silicone sex toys), or even oil-based lube. But make sure you use enough lube to coat the entire shaft. In addition, apply some lube to the vagina and inner labia.
Pro Tip: Keep the base of the toy lube free for easier gripping. Also, keep a towel nearby since it can get messy really quickly!
The Insertion Phase
Once you’re relaxed and your pussy is ready, it’s time to insert the dildo.
My most essential recommendation is to insert it slowly using your dominant hand. If you push too quickly, you might hurt yourself or even tear your vagina.
Start by slowly pushing it in and out. Then, gradually increase the speed until you’re comfortable.
If you feel resistance, you might be too deep. If you feel pain, immediately stop or slow down.
Pro Tip: Don’t be afraid to use your hand to help you. You can use a finger to spread the vaginal opening and the inner labia to make the insertion easier.
Beginner Dildo Techniques
There are several different techniques to use when you’re starting. Let’s check them out:
1. Deep Thrusting
Deep thrusting is an excellent technique for beginners. It’s simple, and it works very well for most people.
To do it, lie on your back, insert the dildo into your vagina, and thrust it in and out along the entire vagina length. You can choose to move fast or slow, depending on your mood and experience level.
This vaginal penetration technique is easy to do, but it could cause some pain or soreness if you go too deep. You should also be careful not to hit your bladder, which will make you want to go pee.
Pro Tip: I recommend a firm dildo for this method. A soft model will bend easily with heavy thrusting. In addition, a textured surface adds exciting new sensations, but if you’re a newbie, a smooth surface is likely better.
2. Shallow And Rapid Strokes
This technique is similar to deep thrusting, but you thrust only the head in and out. It’s a great way to hit that G-spot, but the one negative is your hands and wrists can become tired.
Since you’re not doing deep thrusting, you can use any type of dildo. But personally, I like to use a model with a larger head since I love the feeling of it popping in and out of my pussy.
Pro Tip: The first 1/3 of the vagina has the most sensitive nerve endings, so this technique is great for hitting them all!
3. G-Spot Stimulation
The G-spot is a nerve cluster located on the front wall of the vagina. It’s not as sensitive as the clitoris, but it’s still a great place to stimulate.
It’s easiest to stimulate the G-spot with a curved model. Lie on your back, insert the dildo, and stimulate the area a few inches inside your vagina. If you don’t feel anything right away, try different angles to see if that helps hit the sweet spot.
Like with deep thrusting, a firm dildo is preferred. A softer model won’t be able to stimulate the area very well.
4. Rotation
Rotation is another great technique for newbies. It’s easy to do, and it can be very pleasurable.
To do it, lie on your back, insert the dildo to about G-spot depth, and stimulate the vaginal walls by gently rotating it in a circular motion.
The rotation creates a unique feeling, especially if you hover directly over the G-spot.
5. Clitoral Stimulation
It may be challenging to orgasm from dildo thrusting alone; therefore, you can try stimulating your clit simultaneously.
You can use your fingers or specialized clitoral toys, like bullet vibrators, wand vibrators, or clitoris vibrators.
Advanced Dildo Techniques
As you become more comfortable using your dildo, you can start exploring some other techniques.
1. Size Queening
After a while, you may want to try a fuller experience and decide to buy a massive dildo. Many vagina owners like the fullness they experience from a larger size, and some say fisting is the only way they can orgasm.
It’s important to note that using a too-large product as it can be very painful. You should start slow and increase the size until you feel comfortable.
Pro Tip: You don’t necessarily need to thrust with a bigger dildo. Let it sit inside your vagina while rubbing your clit to an explosive orgasm. Yummy!
2. Double Penetration
If you’re feeling adventurous, you can try double penetration. Double penetration means you have a sex toy in both the vagina and anus, a common fantasy for many vulva owners.
To do it, you can insert two dildos at the same time. Or, you can use one in the vagina and a butt plug in the anus.
But please note you should never directly move one sex toy from the anus to the vagina because it can spread harmful bacteria. Always wash them before doing so.
3. Anal Play
The anus region is filled with nerve endings, and butt play is a pleasurable experience if done correctly.
It’s pretty straightforward to do anal penetration with a dildo. Lie on your back, apply A LOT of lubricants, insert the dildo into your anus, and gently thrust in and out. You can also try to rotate the shaft and change the rhythm of the strokes.
Please note the product needs a flared base, so it doesn’t disappear inside your body. You don’t want those midnight ER visits, trust me!
Pro Tip: Penis owners have a P-spot, so for them, butt play is even more pleasurable!
4. A-Spot Stimulation
The A-spot (AKA female prostate) is located on the back wall of the vagina at about 5 inches depth, next to the cervix. It’s very sensitive, so it can be a great pleasure to stimulate.
It’s easiest to stimulate the A-spot with a curved dildo, like Njoy Pure Wand. To do it, lie on your back, insert the dildo, and stimulate the area a few inches inside your vagina, closest to your stomach.
5. Temperature Play
If you’re feeling adventurous, you can change the temperature. Adding different temperatures inside the vagina creates a whole myriad of new sensations, and many women say it’s the best part of dildo play.
Obviously, it won’t work very well with a 100% silicone dildo, so you need a stainless steel or glass model.
The easiest way to cool a dildo is to put it in the freezer for a while. To make it warmer, you can put it in a bowl of hot water.
Always check the temperature on your skin before insertion, so you don’t injure yourself! I also recommend to never put it in the oven or microwave! Ouch!
My Recommended Positions
Missionary
Missionary is the most common position for dildo play. It’s the most straightforward position for beginners, and easy to do.
To do it, lie on your back, insert the toy into your vagina, and stimulate the vaginal walls.
Doggy Style
Doggy is another option, and it’s a good position when missionary becomes a bit dull.
To do it, get on all fours in a comfortable area, insert the dildo into your vagina, and start thrusting. In addition, if you have suction cup dildos, you can attach them to a shower wall for some standing doggy fun.
Spooning
Spooning is another great position. It’s comfortable and gives you more control.
To do it, lie on your side, insert the head into your vagina, and pound away!
Squatting
Squatting is a superb hands-free position for those who want to experience a deeper penetration. It can be done either sitting or kneeling, and it’s a great way to intensify the pleasure.
To do it, place a suction cup dildo on a flat surface, squat down, insert the tip into your vagina, and slowly begin thrusting.
You can also try to move your body forward and backward to change the rhythm.
If you want to learn more about dildo positions, we have a complete guide here. We also have a guide about different ways to use a suction cup dildo here.
Wrapping Up
If you’re new to dildo play, it can be a little daunting at first. But, with a bit of practice, you’ll have some of the best orgasms of your sex life.
I hope this guide helped you with how to use a dildo for the first time! If you have any other questions, please leave a comment below or send me an email using the contact form.
Rachel
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